Today was a Bad Day!

To say that today sucked is a slight understatement. The button you see up above is on one of the websites I work on. One of the websites that I have been building for years. Let me tell you a little about the struggle.

This morning started much like other mornings, I awoke around 9:30am and laid in bed for a moment waiting for the pain to subside enough to roll out of bed. Of course yesterday was New Year's Eve and so last night staying up late mixed with several night time potty breaks made the day start exceptionally late. No, I don't drink.

After rolling out of bed, I proceeded to begin with the normal morning routine. Take meds, put socks and "normal" clothes on. Head to the bathroom and yell to wake the kids up. Ask what everyone would like for breakfast and listen to all of the "I don't wants" that seem to come out of each kid. At this point I looked at the Aleve bottle with much interest and probably should have considered taking one.

With breakfast made, eggs and toast, I took care of dishes, collected the trash, and sat on the couch for a minute to collect my brain. With a long list of things that needed to happen today, I had to muster. By this point a migraine had started, but I hate taking medicine so I decided to grin and bear it. If you have never had a migraine here is how it works for me. It starts with a throbbing in my eyes, that even closing them can't get rid of. Then I get the feeling like someone is tightening a ratchet strap around my head and it might burst. From there I get an upset tummy and I start to gag and fight not to throw up. Usually with that comes muscle pain and chest pain like the flu. If I crawled into bed, covered my head with the blankets, told my family that they had to be absolutely silent and tried to lay down for a few hours, I may be able to get the migraine to subside. I have some medication for it, basically really strong Aleve, but headache medication seems to cause rebound headaches for me and so tomorrow would be guaranteed to be worse. So I muster on.

I got my winter boots on and headed out to start our vehicles and brush off the stairs. You see when it gets super cold here in Northern Maine, our vehicles can sometimes forget that they are supposed to start when we turn the key. They also like to eat batteries for breakfast, so starting them is a must. My daughter got dressed for the snow (we got 13" this morning) and headed out to feed the animals. The boys and I got dressed and in a line to bring wood into the house for the woodstove. Forty Five minutes later and about 25 pieces of wood, we got the house ready for the rest of the day. Of course now it is close to lunch time (yes time flies) and everyone is going on about what they want or don't want.

Now my head hurts, my back hurts, and I haven't started getting things done that I needed to do. You see I had 10 products to add for sale and 2 new farms to post about. So I decided to heat up leftovers and the hubby and kids made chicken in the oven. I setup my little table and took a seat on a comfy chair with my computer and loads of paperwork. What came next made me cry.

You see pain makes it hard to focus and I worked for a good 4 hours updating farms and products and getting ready to add new ones. Things were going very well, and that is when I should have stopped for the day. Then that button. That Damn Button! I added a new category to describe one of the farms and made a bunch of spelling mistakes. Rather than try to fix everything, my pain and frustration with my fingers had me wanting to start over.

I got my wish for sure! Instead of deleting the one farm category that I had all the mistakes on, I deleted an entire states worth of farm categories. So for the last hour and a half I have been working to recreate everything that I had done. My chest and back feel like I have fought a freight train, my eyes are starting to get fuzzy because my head hurts so bad, and all I keep thinking is how mad I am at myself.

Why did I share this? I want to let people know what some of my tricks are that help me through days like this. First I keep a spreadsheet with all of the information for the farms, and I also keep their original paper forms. Let's say that I have a backup for a backup. It will take me awhile to get it all typed back in, and yes I could copy and paste, but formatting with a headache is a beast. I also let people know that I am updating and making fixes. I fix the most pertinent information first and let the rest wait until my brain stops screaming.

The last thing I do is forgive myself. I should have known not to do work today, but life with a Chronic Illness means that every day is a little rough. Every Day I have to set aside a couple of hours to do the tasks that I deem vital to get bye. I also remember that no matter what, I haven't given up on trying to make a difference in the world and this is just a little stumbling block.

So to all those entrepreneurs out there who are dealing with a hard life along with trying to make a difference, I am cheering for you. The days when you barely get out of bed and drag yourself to get dressed, I am applauding your accomplishment. When you complete goals and see results, I am standing behind you (figuratively) patting you on the back and telling you great work. Are all my days like today... NO, but enough are that I am starting to get used to the ebb and flow of chronic illness.