The Toast of the Town: Millennials on Financial Anxiety?

One cannot help but reminisce upon the bygone era of conspicuous consumption, as elucidated by Thorstein Veblen in his seminal work, "The Theory of the Leisure Class." Millennials, however, face a far more quotidian struggle – not keeping up with the Joneses, but rather, keeping a roof over theirs while navigating the labyrinthine gig economy.

Gone are the days of the Marxist worker, toiling away in the regimented factory. Today's young people confront a far more insidious foe: the ever-present specter of student loan debt, a burden that would make even Sisyphus himself blanch. John Maynard Keynes, the architect of deficit spending, might propose a strategic avocado toast-financing plan to stimulate the artisanal brunch market, a solution both fiscally dubious and ironically delicious.

Milton Friedman, the free-market champion, would no doubt prescribe the age-old remedy of bootstraps – a quaint notion in a world where even bootstraps are a luxury good. Meanwhile, Thomas Piketty's work on income inequality finds stark resonance in the astronomical rise of housing costs. His theory, famously captured by the expression "r > g" (wealth concentration outpaces growth), takes on a darkly comedic air when one considers the fact that a studio apartment now costs more than most grandparents' entire mortgages.

Yet, amidst the economic precarity, a glimmer of hope emerges – the indomitable human spirit! Motivational gurus the world over offer sage advice: "Hustle harder!" they exhort. "Embrace the side hustle!" they proclaim. Perhaps an additional barista shift, a fire sale of vintage Pokemon cards, or a strategic return to the comfort (and laundry facilities) of the parental basement are the keys to financial liberation.

One must take solace in the knowledge that millennials and Gen Z are not alone in their struggles. They are united by a shared love of brunch, a crippling fear of student loan statements, and a burgeoning collection of "adulting" memes. So, raise a glass (of suspiciously watered-down mimosa) to your fellow financially fragile friends. Remember, with perseverance and a healthy dose of gallows humor, you might just be able to afford that single, solitary avocado – by the time you retire, that is.