A toast to my Mom and her amazing career

I recently gave a retirement toast to the most influential person in my life.? Many of you know my mother, Karen Demoss.? She raised my brother, Lincoln, and me as a single parent and helped thousands of adolescents and families over her 50+ year career as a family counselor and therapist. ? She worked with all ages with a specialty focus on parent guidance, blended families, adoption, grief work, couples and family relationships, adolescent self-esteem and social skills, and abuse victims. Her philosophy is that it is never too late to make changes in your life. ? She has always been such an inspiration to me and especially when I was starting Tribevest .?

She started her private practice 30 years ago, Life Steps .? I wrote the speech for her at her retirement party last week.?

Dear Mom,

I’ll never forget when you asked me to have dinner at Pizza Hut on Lexington Ave.? That was a favorite spot for us, but this time you wanted me to know that you were about to take a risk, a big one. You were starting your own practice, which meant commitment and no turning back. You also wanted me to know that it would require sacrifice from you and the entire family… Nana, Lincoln, and me.? Like any 16-year-old, I thought, “yeah yeah, no big deal, and that nothing of significance was going to change.” And on the surface, that was true, at least for me. I was old enough that I didn’t need a babysitter and all I wanted to do was hang out with my friends anyway. The minimal impact on my self-centered teenage life was a testament to how well you pulled off the impossible of launching a business while being a single mom. And now, looking back, I know Nana and other family and friends were there to fill in the gaps too.?

As I get older, I realize very few lessons happen in a moment. I know because I try all the time to “teach” my boys, Brant (14 years old) and Lincoln (10 years old), and both remind me that approach doesn’t work. But the approach that works is one where you lead by example and offer a role model for witnessing and seeing in action. You never pointed out the ‘hard lessons,’ ' life tricks,’ or ‘formulas of success’ but always led by example. Always doing the work and what needed to be done. Not trying to make it look easy, but sharing the struggle so there would be no fantasy or false expectation that something important, worthwhile, and awesome is never easy and without sacrifice.

Mom, thanks for showing me how to be a self-starter and the fulfillment of building something of your own. I never acknowledged how much you impacted me and my entrepreneur mindset. I am grateful to have a family counselor and therapist as my mom. And thanks for sharing your professional gift with my sons and me.

With my limited wisdom, here are my words of advice: never retire. The world needs you more than ever, and our family needs you to continue to lead by example. Mom, the impact you’ve had on countless adolescents and their families, is a fantastic legacy and more than any of us could hope to achieve in our professional lives. Turn the page to the next chapter where you put your incredible gift to work, coaching, teaching, …. hell, start a new business! Show us how to transition to life’s next endeavor, challenge, and next big mission.?

That said, I know your Life’s Work is far from complete. Keep leading us, Mom. You inspire us all.

Love,

Travis