TLDR and the Family Text Group

"Cool! I hope it all works out, Dad."

The private Adams family "Ohana" text space provides our tribe on the daily with useful sharing, entertainment, hilarity, lecturing, and occasional haranguing. We even manage the frequent solving of petty crimes in the "theft" of favorite shirts and missing charging blocks.

In a recent exchange I also learned a valuable lesson in communication through an update and call for feedback from my inner team. Throughout the living liver donor journey to date, I've kept the family abreast of the process and welcomed feedback in making a final decision on whether to donate.

Living Donor Partner Support is a Prerequisite

One of the key evaluation elements for my donor team at the transplantation center was the presence, awareness, and commitment of a partner to join me onsite for surgery to provide the essential care and support before and during recovery. To be considered, any prospective donor must have a willing partner that the transplant center donor team believes will provide willing, sufficient support along the way and weeks that follow. They also encourage donors to listen to and solicit input from other of-age dependents and trusted family members.

In my case, my wife has been a sounding board over the past several months and has fully agreed to support me completely. As part of the evaluation process, she was able to speak with a member of the donor team to ensure her comfort and readiness. With her firm support confirmed, the donor team checked that critical box.

A Range of Supportive Thoughts

I got a call from my donor team coordinator to confirm that all the testing "i's" were dotted and "T's" crossed. I was in the parking lot of Lowe's, and I listened to the life-altering words come across. "You're all set. Good to go...Now take some time in the cooling period to think it through carefully and discuss with your partner and family. We'll support your final decision, either way."

On an ordinary day we're all in different places and now spread out across states. So, with a confirmation of my viability I decided to hit the family with a detailed text update into Ohana and a call for any more feedback and input.

What I got back was a heartwarming, yet amusing, array of responses from my five children ranging from age 27 to 16 in sequence. My eldest daughter returned with a beautifully articulate and lengthy message of support. With slightly shorter responses, my next two daughters also weighed in thoughtfully. My oldest son, now a freshman in college, surprised me a bit with his own caring thoughts and expressions – more than I expected.

When TLDR Hit Home

In exact sequence - last but not least - my 6' 4" baby boy of 16 returned in hilarious brevity with, "Cool! I hope it all works out, Dad." Knowing him as a deep thinker, his response first gave me pause and then a guffaw in the hardware aisle.

On the drive home I thought about the varying range of responses across the ages of my kids. Was there a rhyme or reason to the descending amounts of feedback from top to bottom? I was sure to check in with him in person to try and pull any other thoughts from him while I made jest of his first response.

"The texts are long, dad, and there's a lot of stuff in Ohana. I barely read it." His comments made me think more about audience, medium and message - even in the family text string.

There's more work and study to be done with this next generation of digital natives before I can expect to make a difference in communicating effectively. For my next living donor update, maybe I should be thinking about a clever Snap or TikTok with a dancing liver...