TJIF: Riding the Wave of Resistance – Lessons in Embracing Change

I attended a great webinar yesterday from the amazing Kristen Lisanti , where she presented the concept of resistance in the face of change?and how to work with it rather than against it. Change is omnipresent, both personally and professionally, so understanding resistance in relation to my own change was an effective unlock for me. We all know change can be hard for us as individuals and even harder when leading a group of humans who might be resisting it. In this discussion, Kristen illuminated the “trough of disillusionment” that happens to us during a change event, where we feel disempowered and disappointed. She then presented the idea of “surfing the curve” of change as a tool to help us navigate up and out of this trough.?

I love this concept and the idea of using the momentum of the wave rather than paddling against the resistance in it. As I listened to Kristen present the five key elements of surfing the curve, I found myself relating to them on a whole new level—feeling them more personally in my own wave of change.??

Here are my five insights about riding the wave of change:

1. Expect Resistance - Don’t let too much flow hide the signs. I don’t have a lot of resistance to change and live by the mantra “with change comes opportunity.” During the webinar, we discussed this idea briefly, along with the importance of embracing continual change or a flow state as a mindset. However, I realized I sometimes look for flow so much that I overlook my own resistance. When I miss my own resistance, I miss opportunities to process it and grow.
2. Honor the Loss - Personal experiences can come in handy. Loss is hard, and I’ve learned that grief—and processing it—was key to honoring loss in my life. Personal experiences with loss over the last few years have taught me this. Honoring those experiences has helped me grow through grief. If you struggle with this in your professional life, lean on your personal experiences to guide you.
3. Leverage Emotional Data - Stand in front of the mirror as a starting point. As an empath, this is easier for me to do with others but more challenging to do for myself. I rely heavily on the “Wheel of Feels” to help process my own emotions, especially during change. It’s crucial to identify your emotions so you can excavate the feelings behind them. Sit with your emotions first, and this will help you better understand your team. Be kind to yourself and your people in this process.
4. Address Needs - Ask yourself the hard questions. Addressing my own needs first was a challenge earlier in my career when I embraced servant leadership without fully understanding it. As I’ve developed my own non-traditional leadership style, I’ve learned to identify and address my needs by asking the right questions. I start by asking myself, “What do I need right now?” and then I write down the answers exactly as I hear them without judging my answers. This process has helped me better assess others’ needs once I’ve parsed my own.
5. Re-focus on the Vision - Focus on what you want next. With practice, this has become easier for me. I have a system I use for myself (and others), which starts with writing down my personal vision for what’s changing in front of me. After processing everything else, I begin with a vision statement for what’s next. Start with the immediate term, then expand into the future once the effects of the change become clearer.

By evaluating your individual response to change, you can help your team navigate change more effectively. Change can be desired, but it can also be dictated. When it’s the latter, the level of resistance usually increases, requiring more work in the trough.

Thanks again to Kristen for making it easy to put simple frames in place to help us sort through the hard stuff. Check her out at KristenLisanti.com and join the leadership community at RadiantLeader.co.

Have a great weekend!