Title: How to Parent a Teen from a Teen's Perspective

I want to talk to you about a topic that is close to my heart: how to parent a teen from a teen's perspective. You see, not too long ago, I was in your shoes, feeling misunderstood and believing that my parents didn't quite get me. But today, I want to bridge that gap and help parents understand their teens better. So, let's dive into it!

Technology plays a significant role in our lives, especially for teens. It's an area where teens and parents often find themselves at odds due to the differences between today's technology and what our parents had during their teenage years. As a teen, I believe that the decision to provide a child with a phone should be based on their environment. For instance, in a small town where safety concerns are minimal, a phone may not be necessary at a young age. However, in a bustling city like KL, where commuting and independence are part of everyday life, a phone can be crucial for safety purposes.

But it's not just about the age. Time limits are equally important. As teens, we often notice when our parents don't follow the same rules they set for us. If you spend hours on your phone and then tell your child they only have one hour of screen time, it can create frustration and a sense of unfairness. So, as parents, let's lead by example and set time limits that we can also adhere to. It's all about fairness and understanding.

Understanding your teen goes beyond technology. It involves recognizing how we perceive our parents. Many teens describe their parents using certain stereotypes. Some see their parents as the "boss," strict and unwavering, while others view them as the "loosey-goosey," lenient and letting anything slide. However, what I believe is the most effective parenting style is that of the "listener."

The listener parent strikes a balance between providing guidance and allowing their teen to have options. They create an open space for dialogue and decision-making. Imagine your teen wants to quit the basketball team and work at McDonald's instead. Instead of immediately shutting down the idea, the listener parent asks questions, understanding their motivations and concerns. They provide suggestions on other places to work, ensuring that their teen explores different possibilities before making a decision.

Now, let's talk about emotions. We all experience them, but teenage emotions are unique and often intense. According to research, the part of the brain that controls emotions, known as the limbic brain structure, develops slower than the logical system. This means that when we, as teens, feel sad or angry, it can be overwhelming. It's like a wave crashing into us, and we might not even know why we feel that way.

As parents, it's crucial to stay calm during these emotional outbursts. Let me share a personal experience. After a tiring tennis practice, I expressed my desire to quit the team to my mom. Suddenly, tears started flowing uncontrollably. I couldn't explain why I was crying so intensely, but what mattered was my mom's response. She remained calm and understanding, which eventually helped me calm down and reflect on what had just happened. I realized it was a mood swing, a natural part of being a teen. If she had responded with anger or frustration, it would have escalated the situation and made me feel even worse.

Conclusion: In conclusion, parenting a teenager can be challenging, but it's essential to understand their perspective. By considering their environment when it comes to technology, adopting the listener approach, and staying calm during their emotional outbursts, we can build stronger relationships with our teens.

Let's remember that parenting is a learning process for both parents and teens. By opening up communication channels and embracing empathy, we can bridge the gap and create a supportive environment for our adolescents to thrive. Thank you for your attention, and let's continue to learn and grow together on this journey of parenting teens.