Tired of Transactional Networking? Here’s How to Build Real Relationships

Hi community!?

What if I told you that the way you’re networking might be the very thing holding you back?

I know, I know. It’s a crazy thought, but hear me out.?

One thing I’ve learned during my time at 美国哈佛商学院 is that for entrepreneurs, nothing exists in neat little boxes.?

Your personal and professional lives are interconnected, and if you’re still trying to compartmentalize them, you’re missing out on some serious opportunities.?

But this doesn’t mean hustling till you burn out—It’s about creating a seamless flow between your work and life that gives you balance, flexibility, and—most importantly—powerful connections.

Because here’s the truth: real, impactful networking isn’t about handing out business cards or collecting contacts.?

It’s about building social capital—the kind of relationships that don’t just stick but grow, evolve, and bring real value over time.

And trust me, I’m not just talking theory here.

Look at Maggie Wilderotter —she’s held 50+ corporate board seats and landed enough speaking gigs for three lifetimes! What’s her secret? While we were walking around and watching the Augusta National Women’s Amateur golf tournament this year, she told me straight up:?

“Networking is work.”

But not the draining, transactional kind. She makes it fun—like gathering 15 incredible women for a dinner that’s all about connection and collaboration. Or making introductions for women who are seeking corporate board roles. She doesn’t need LinkedIn to do it—she’s a pro at staying in touch and bringing people together.

Still, there are some serious myths floating around about networking, and it’s time we clear those up once and for all.

Myth: Networking is all about who (and what) you know.

Truth: The real magic of networking happens in how you nurture those relationships.

It’s like tending a garden—you can’t expect roses to bloom if you just scatter seeds and ghost your plants! ??

Social Capital is Your Networking Currency

Now that we’ve busted the myth that networking is just about who you know, let’s talk about what really drives meaningful connections.?

Social capital.

But what is social capital??

Simply put, it’s the currency of goodwill, trust, and mutual benefit. When you offer value first—be it an introduction, an idea, or support—you’re making deposits into your social capital bank.?

But here’s the kicker: just like a real bank account, you can’t withdraw more than you’ve deposited. People aren’t ATMs. ??

I’ve seen too many people approach networking with a transactional mindset. You know the type—someone who asks for help before ever offering any, disappearing until they need something again.?

I like to call them “Networking Vampires” ??—they suck the value out of relationships without giving anything back.?

But then again, how does one build real connections that are sticky and mutually beneficial, without leaving a trail of drained contacts in their wake?

[Hint: there are actually FIVE things you can do]

Step 1: Give First and Give Often

“Givers gain—and they gain social capital that pays off in the long run.”

When you approach a new connection with the intent to give, you flip the script.?

Instead of asking, “What can I get out of this?” ask yourself, “How can I help this person?”?

It could be something as simple as sharing a resource, offering valuable feedback, or introducing them to someone in your network.

Remember: givers gain—and they gain social capital that pays off in the long run.

Step 2: Add the Human Element (And a Bit of Humor)

“Relationships built on laughter tend to last longer.”

Want to stand out?

Show genuine interest in the person—not just what they can do for you. Be curious, ask insightful questions, and—wait for it—actually listen.?

People can tell if you're engaging with them like a pre-programmed bot chasing a sale.

And don’t forget to lighten things up!?

A little humor (appropriately placed) can go a long way in creating memorable connections.?

Networking doesn’t have to feel like a corporate boardroom—sometimes, it can feel more like a casual coffee chat. ? After all, relationships built on laughter tend to last longer.

Quick networking tip: Throw in an unexpected but relevant joke during a conversation.?

After all, networking is kind of like dating—you want to create or find chemistry early on. ??

Step 3: Play the Long Game

“Networking gets better over time, with conversations that build upon each other.”

Networking is also like a good Netflix series.?

It gets better over time, with episodes (or conversations) that build upon each other. That’s why it’s crucial to nurture your connections consistently.

So, don’t be a one-conversation wonder—you HAVE to follow up. And not with the generic “just circling back” emails, but with thoughtful touchpoints that demonstrate you care.?

Maybe it’s sharing an article that aligns with their interests, congratulating them on a recent achievement, or simply asking how they’re doing. Keep it personal and relevant.

Step 4: Curate Your Network Like a Fine Dining Experience

“Build your community with connectors, superfans, and those who are truly invested in uplifting each other.”

Imagine inviting a group of high-value, like-minded people to dinner—people you admire, trust, and can grow with.?

Doesn’t that sound more enjoyable than being stuck in a room with people who don’t resonate with your goals?

That, friends, is how I met my network.

Don’t waste your time (or theirs) networking with people who don’t align with your vision or values. Build your community with connectors, superfans, and those who are truly invested in uplifting each other.

Think of networking as a potluck: everyone should bring something valuable to the table. (And hey, make sure you’re not just bringing napkins!)

Step 5: Superfans Are Your Secret Sauce

“Building superfans requires nurturing, trust, and showing up consistently.”

Speaking of superfans, let’s talk about why you should focus on quality over quantity. The 1000 True Fans theory says you don’t need to know everyone—you just need a smaller group of dedicated people who believe in your mission and will advocate for you.?

It’s better to have 100 superfans who refer you regularly than 10,000 passive LinkedIn connections you never speak to.

Building superfans requires nurturing, trust, and showing up consistently.?

Think of them as your inner circle—the ones who will support you, promote you, and help you grow. The secret is to engage these relationships with intention and authenticity.

The Bottom Line: Networking is a Two-Way Street

If you take nothing else from this, remember: networking isn’t about filling your LinkedIn with contacts or collecting business cards like Pokémon.?

It’s about creating genuine, long-term relationships. It’s about giving before you get, nurturing those connections over time, and playing the long game.?

And here’s one final pro-tip:?

No one ever became a networking master by sending “just checking in” emails three times a year.?

Be human, be helpful, and build real social capital—your network will naturally expand in meaningful ways.?

After all, your network is your net worth—but only if you invest in it wisely.

With gratitude,

Saleema

P.S. Who’s up for a 100 Coffee Challenge? Comment below. Let’s make those connections real—one latte at a time! ???