Tired of Nagging? Let's play...

#Parenting is serious business, but that doesn't mean you have to be serious! Creative silliness can be the key to unlocking deeper connection, and deeper connection unlocks cooperation. Save yourself from the tedium and frustration of repeating requests over and over by mixing it up.

Instead of nagging your child to hurry up and get ready for school, turn it into a quick game. Menacingly walk towards them, pretending to be a mean teacher who's mad at them for being late and is dishing out some wild punishment. Then shift quickly to being their lovely, kind parent who has to save them from the teacher. Dramatically say, "Let me save you! Quick here's a shoe and another one! Oh no, it's not on, be quick!" Turn to face ‘the teacher’ and say assertively, "Back off, teacher. We're not going to be late today!"

Instead of yelling at your child to sit still at the table, lift them up and declare, "Ha! I got it. You had a wriggle bean under your bottom. Thank goodness that's gone. I'm going to gobble it up." When they wriggle again, invite them to hop down, gobble the bean and sit back down again.

You're not changing your expectation in either scenario (to get ready on time or to sit at the table). You're simply finding an alternative way of helping your child to meet your expectation.

If you're dismissing the idea, here are the benefits to convince you it's worth giving a go:

Children learn through play.

Your child will be learning how to navigate limits, overcome emotions that inhibit cooperation and meet your expectations while playing.

Being silly helps you both laugh.

Laughter reduces tension and releases anxiety for your child, which helps them focus on the required task.

It feels better for you.

Thinking creatively about solutions through play feels much less dull and relentless than nagging or yelling.

Play can help to shift the power balance.

Many parent-child tension spots are caused by children being unable to gain the autonomy they crave. Instead of gaining power by refusing to comply, children can act out their need for control and independence through play.

It strengthens your relationship.

Play creates the opportunity for your relationship with your child to deepen. Children find it easier to express themselves through play so you'll get insight into their world, gain understanding and open up communication.

It works for all ages.

You'll need to change the games slightly and be prepared for eye rolls from an older kid but don't underestimate the power of silliness for all ages.

It increases cooperation.

Children find it easy to cooperate with someone they feel is on their side and isn't constantly nagging them. (Don't we all!)

If you normally nag or yell to get the daily stuff done, then your child may get very excited when you begin to use play. If they need more play time with you, they may seek to prolong the interaction by any means possible (usually ones you won't be too keen on!) Instead of giving up on using play, I'd invite you to increase playtime, rough and tumble and silliness when you have more time and capacity. If your child's play & connection tank is full, when you use play to get through the usual sticky moments of the day, it will work well for you and your child.

If you don't think play will work for you and your family but are sick of nagging and yelling, drop me a message and together we can work out the alternative options you're happy to try.