Tired of misunderstandings?

Do you communicate with your employees, the way you would want to be communicated with?

Is there an expectation of mutual understanding?

Communication is not about talking, listening and ultimately agreeing. It's about understanding. And that's not always that easy. In fact, mis-understanding is the norm and leads to all kinds of problems that cost money. It's actually one of the leading causes of management breakdown.

Communication comes in many forms but the 2 primary ways are through words and actions. What are your actions 'saying' to those around you? Are you frequently asking yourself "Why don't they understand what I just said?"

You may have heard of Gary Chapman's best seller 'The Five Love Languages'. In it Gary highlights 5 different 'Love Languages', and we all have a preferred love language. The problem arises when we show love in the way WE want to receive it rather than finding out how those around us need to receive it! The same applies to our Life Languages, our preferred communication style. We can speak to others how we want to be spoken to or we can learn the 'language' of those around us and 'speak' theirs. Which do you think is the better way?

When we have an unrealistic expectation, it unlikely to be met and that leads to frustration. Allow that frustration to encourage you to learn a new skill, the art of communication.

Yes it takes effort but the alternative is worse. If we don't intentionally put in the time and learn the skill, we will always find ourselves dealing with misunderstanding and the resulting conflict. The first step is to listen to the way the person in front of you is speaking. Are they using action based language: "I am going to get myself a beer!" Maybe its emotive, feeling based: "I feel like an ice cold beer right now......". Or maybe it's more cognitive: "I'm thirsty, I think it's about time I had a beer!"

That will give you a head start in understanding how that person is wired. After that, you can begin to mirror back in a similar style. Acknowledge to them the way you have heard them in your response to them. "I can see you have given this a lot of thought" or "Wow, I love that you just get on and DO it". Straight away, that person will feel heard and valued. But don't stop there. Realise that every person has a 'Filter Question' that they are always asking subconsciously. They have a specific 'Need from others' that must be met, they have a 'Driving passion' that gets them out of bed in the morning that needs to be encouraged and they have a 'Key character strength' that needs to be validated. We call these the Keys to Success and form the foundation of the Life Languages?communication system.

Don't wait for a crisis of communication. Invest. Not only in yourself, but in those around you. If you are interested in seeing how the Life Languages? system can benefit you, let's chat. Drop me a message: [email protected]