Tips To Be Yourself As A Leader, For Introverted Women Who Are Lacking In Confidence

For the introverted woman leader who lacks self-confidence, the more senior you become, the easier it can be to lose part of who you truly are as you try to fit in and be accepted.

In an organisation where extraversion is favoured over introversion and it is the case that ‘she who shouts loudest gets heard’, you may think that you have to do the same and put on a persona. But by trying to be someone that you’re not, you may not only come across as inauthentic, but you also put a lot of pressure on yourself. This can be stressful and chip away at your self-belief and self-confidence.

By utilising your strengths and being your authentic self as a leader, you will feel more confident and are more likely to thrive.

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Know who you are

Know who you are as an individual and be that person (or a better version of that person) and not who your parents wanted you to be, what your spouse/partner/friends think you should be, or some other ideology of who you should be that is not you.

Be aligned with your values and know what makes you ‘tick’. What matters to you and is important to you? What energises you? What depletes your energy? When are you at your best? When are you at your worst? What do you want for your career and life? What don’t you want for your career and life? What insights do you gain about yourself from asking yourself these questions? What will you do with these insights?

What other questions can help you know and understand yourself better?

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Develop your self-awareness

What impact do you have on others? How does an encounter with you leave other people feeling, acting, and behaving?? Are people open and receptive to you, or do they clam up or get defensive? If it is the latter, what could be the reason for this?

Reflect on how you respond to different situations, people, and environments and why you respond the way that you do. What are the triggers that knock your confidence and what can you do to manage them?

Self-awareness will help you to better manage your emotions so that you do not let unhelpful, negative emotions knock your self-confidence

Using our strengths is where we see our greatest accomplishments

When we utilise our strengths, we experience personal growth, we are more motivated, more energised, more joyful, and more likely to be at our optimal.

over-worry

Unfortunately, many people focus a lot of their time, energy, and money trying to fix their weaknesses, believing that fixing their weaknesses is where they will see personal growth. It's not that we shouldn't address our weaknesses or ignore them, it can be important that we do.

Particularly if not doing so is going to have a detrimental effect. It is about utilising your strengths to increase your motivation, optimise your productivity and effectiveness, and ultimately get the results that you want.

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Accept yourself for who you are and don’t over worry about what others think of you

When you worry too much about what other people think about you it can cause you to be fearful and insecure. Being self-assured and confident with who you are will free you from these fears and insecurities.

Accept yourself for who you are, value the strengths of introversion, and use them as your superpowers.

‘The secret of true self-acceptance is to stop seeing ourselves as a single entity.? We are made up of hundreds of component parts – our skills, abilities, physique, sporting or artistic leanings, levels of competitiveness, intelligence, emotional maturity, personal qualities... And many more.’- (Wilding & Palmer)

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I see many introverted women leaders who overlook their good qualities and focus on the one or two things that they don’t do well or that they are not good at. They compare themselves to others and put themselves down in the process. They blow their perceived shortcomings out of proportion and end up feeling rubbish about themselves. This knocks their self-belief and self-confidence.

Learning to accept yourself for who you are will help with this. If you struggle with this, get support to help you address it, or join me for the 5 Day Mind Cleanse Challenge starting on 15 April.

If you want to become unstoppable in pursuit of your senior leadership career but imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and a lack of self-confidence hold you back, join me for my free, live 5 Day Mind Cleanse challenge from 15-19 April 2024.

You will join me for 30 minutes a day each day for 5 days where I will take you through the day's challenge, providing you with guidance and answering your questions. If you can't make the live calls, don't worry, you can watch them on replay. Plus, you will also get access to a private, pop-up LinkedIn group where you can also get support.

"Carol's challenge really hit home because it forced me to deal with the fact that I'm holding back myself."

Find out more and join the 5 Day Mind Cleanse challenge here .

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What does good leadership look like for you?

Imagine that you are the kind of leader that you aspire to be, leading in a way that not only is authentic and feels natural, but one where you have the courage to do all that you need to do. How are you showing up?? How are people responding to you? How do you go about your daily activities? What kind of impact are you having?

Now reflect on how you are as a leader now. What is the difference between how you are now to what you just imagined? What can you do to close that gap? Let me know in the comments.

Is a lack of self-belief holding you back from going after what it is that you want to achieve? Or causing you to doubt yourself and lack self-confidence? In this episode of the podcast I talk about the importance of self-belief, what it is, and how to develop it. Click through to the podcast to listen to it.

About Me

I am an Executive, Career and Leadership Coach specialising in introverted women who are senior leaders. Through my work, I have helped 1000s of women across the globe to increase their confidence, influence and impact as leaders, and overcome imposter syndrome, increase their executive presence, improve speaking performance in meetings, get a promotion, and much more.

On 13 September 2024, I will be holding the first ever conference for introverted leaders (men and women) in London. Put the date in your diary and join the waitlist to be informed of when tickets are available and to receive a special discount, here.