Tips for Working with Mentors

Earlier this week, the world celebrated the International Mentoring day. The objective is to foster a global understanding of the mentoring movement throughout the world and raise awareness about mentoring ideals. This celebration underscores its importance for global development and rightly so. However, mentoring/ship is fast becoming a catch-all phrase for negotiating access and benefits by many young professionals who barely know what the it really entails (some still confuse it with supervision or coaching). Like every soft skill, mentoring/ship has to be taught, learnt, imbibed and honed if one is to leverage it for professional development or career mobility. I remember asking a well respected professor what his mentoring philosophy was? According to him, there are two fundamental assumptions about mentorship: i) that someone is available to mentor, and ii) the other person is willing to be mentored. What many people call mentorship is one party trying to 'rip' the other, to use Nigeria's hip-hop culture lingo, without necessarily committing to the process. Granted, effective mentorship should be organic, i.e. not imposed or contrived, but if it's to achieve its purpose, some ground rules should be set and adhered to.

Graduate students and early career researchers, especially in developing countries, stand to benefit more from effective mentorship but there's a catch. The mentee will have to invest more in the process than the mentor for obvious reasons. The asymmetry of knowledge presupposes that power is likely to be skewed towards one party, usually the mentor, and if unregulated, such mentorship relationship may eventually slide into sycophancy or predation, or even both.

Here are some tips to guide doctoral students and early career researchers in working with their mentors:

1) Always clarify your level of expectations: The primary goal of mentorship is improvement not perfection, so be sure to let your mentor know areas you need improvement. As you engage with them, give them feedback on your growth even if they don't remember to ask. That way, they'll know how to vary their methods in view of your expectations.

2) Accept a subordinate learning position: If you already knew what they know, you probably won't be their mentee, so be humble and patient, even if you are positionally superior or older. Some mentors may appear archaic or unsophisticated but they definitely know their onions. I used to have a mentor who prefers to dictate an article rather than type on his PC, much less use messaging apps, but the more I listened to him, the more I learnt the art of communication from him.

3) Respect your mentor but don't idolize them: Mentors are humans like you even if they are superstars in their chosen fields. Accord them the respect they deserve but don't deify them. It'll be easier to accept and learn from their flaws when they serve you 'breakfast'.

4) Don't sleep on the momentum: Immediately put into effect what you are learning. You won't always be spoon-fed by a mentor. As a matter of fact, most mentors are usually more objective and practical with their mentees than they may be with others, so, if possible, action the feedback or advice they give you as e dey hot.

5) Be disciplined when relating with your mentor: Don't take the familiarity with your mentor for granted. Always maintain professional conduct with your mentors even in informal settings. Don't ever go late for appointments with them, be orderly, diligent and consistent without prejudice to your level of acquaintanceship. One time I started sending lengthy voice-notes to my mentor without transcribing, she student-zoned me straight.

6) Reward your mentor with your own progress: Your growth is more important to your mentor than gifts, and indeed should be for you too. Don't make them regret taking you on as a mentee by stagnating at one stage for rather too long a time. You'll constrain them from accepting other mentees like you. Reason you have to constantly clarify your growth expectations so they'll know when you've attained them.

7) Don't threaten to give up: Giving up means wasting your mentor's time, hence, his/her life. No one wants to waste time on a time waster. Remember you too will become someone else's mentor tomorrow. How will you feel if they back down on you despite all your time investments? Rather than give up, step back for a while to evaluate your current position in light of your expectations, then co-develop a recovery plan with your mentor. Whatever you encounter as a mentee, always act progressively with the end in view.

8) Give back by mentoring others: Mentorship is trans-generational. Your mentor was likely mentored by someone else, you are being mentored by him/her, you too have the obligation to mentor others, as they also have to mentor those after them. I get thrilled whenever I get requests from junior colleagues and peers to mentor them. Even though I haven't acquired sufficient experience to assume the position of an academic mentor (some of my mentees even have more publications than I do), I simply provide them with the same guidance I get from my mentors and establish accountability where necessary. This makes me more accountable to my own mentors and commit even more to the mentorship process.

There is a whole lot of other tips and resources for learning more about mentorship but these tips would sure get you past the honey-moon stage when starting out with your mentor/s.