Tips for Truce for Thanksgiving and beyond....

As I write this, there will hopefully be a truce in a war causing so much pain and suffering. My hope and prayer is for peace to come soon.

It made me wonder what would happen if we all called a truce to any personal suffering in the moment?

How much more peace could we experience today?

I wish you a healthy and happy holiday, surrounded by loved ones.

However, I realize that for many, the holidays can bring stress, and open old wounds that hamper your ability to enjoy yourself.

• You may have lost loved ones who are missed, and my heart goes out to you.
• You may be struggling with a relationship and wondering what to do about it.
• You may be watching the news and feeling the pain and fear that is so pervasive right now.
• You may be dealing with some other personal or professional issues that cause you to doubt your worth or your value.

Whatever conflict - internal, personal or professional - you may be experiencing, I want to offer a few quick Tips for Truce this Thanksgiving and Beyond.

Nothing too deep, just a few suggestions:

I googled “Truce."

"A truce is a temporary stoppage of a conflict or dispute, where all parties involved agree to pause hostilities or aggressive actions. This is often done to negotiate, discuss terms, or simply to provide a period of rest and reflection. Truces can be formal, with written agreements, or informal, based on mutual understanding without a written document.”

Here’s a few thoughts for the acronym.T.R.U.C.E

TRUST

Trust that your relationship can get better. Maybe not in this moment, but in time. You may need to set better boundaries, but you don’t need to cut off, blame or react. You can put down your weapons - of judgment, sarcasm, anger, withholding, yelling - and just allow yourself to BE PRESENT.

RESET, RESPOND, RE-BOOT

All of these are possible. Just take a breath and be willing to consider what it would be like if you could “start over.” What if you learned how to respond from your best Self instead of from a Part of you that may often try to defend, deflect, or even destroy?

UNDERSTAND

Understand that everyone has been doing the best they know how to do based on their level of awareness at the time. But everyone can learn how to do better. You can learn a new way to communicate no matter what anyone else does.

COMPASSION

FIRST for yourself! And then for others. Yes, you’ve been hurt, you’re sad, you may be scared. So send compassion to all those exiled parts of you that may not be acknowledged enough. And as you fill up with compassion for yourself, you can later offer it to others.

EMPATHY

Learn how to give it and receive it. You’ll talk about your feelings (not your judgments) at another time. You’ll learn how to listen, understand and truly care about another’s perspective, as they learn how to show you more empathy too.

It may not happen this weekend, but it can happen.

You can change the way you’re looking at something so that relationships heal and transform.

Give it a try.

Call a truce - even silently to yourself.

Put down your weapons and shields, open your heart, and have a good holiday.

Things can improve.

And to help you, I’m offering my Miracle of Empathy Handout and Video to let the healing begin.

Healthy and Happy Thanksgiving to all.