Tips and Thoughts from the Timeless Therapist

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Have you ever considered what your Attachment Style is?

What exactly is an attachment style?

Attachment styles are characterized by different ways of interacting and behaving in relationships. Attachment styles develop in a person based on the relationship they had with their primary caregivers as children. Usually this is parents, however, grandparents, aunts and uncles, or other adults who cared for you and your needs could also be responsible for your attachment style as an adult.

Why do we develop an attachment style?

Basically, for survival. Well, initially this is the reason, we, humans, as babies, attach to a parent or other caregiver (i.e. the one taking care of our physical and emotional needs). We look to our caretakers for comfort and support, because as babies and children we are completely dependent on them for soothing our distress and meeting our needs--food, water, waste relief, fun, warmth, interest and connection. If these caregivers offer a warm and caring environment, and are attuned to the child’s physical and emotional needs–even when these needs are not clearly expressed–the child becomes securely attached.?However, inconsistencies in meeting the needs of children can result in developing an insecure attachment.

You develop attachment style in childhood. It’s influenced by both genetic factors and the relationships you have with caregivers. According to psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, one’s bond with their primary caregivers during childhood has an overarching influence on their future social and intimate relationships, and even their

relationships at work. This early bond creates a template, or rules, for how you build and interpret relationships as an adult.

?It's important to know and understand your attachment style so that you can be aware of how you show up in relationship with others.

Based on attachment theory, there are 4 distinct & agreed upon attachment styles.

Secure Attachment:

feel confident that their partners will be there for them when needed, and open to depending on others and having others depend on them; able to trust others and be trusted; do not become panicked when their partner needs space from them.

Anxious-Insecure Attachment:

?worry that others may not love them completely, and become easily frustrated or angered when their attachment needs go unmet; worrying that their partner will leave them and often seeking external validation and reassurance; intense fear of abandonment.

Anxious-Avoidant Attachment:

may appear not to care too much about close relationships, and may prefer not to be too dependent upon other people or to have others be too dependent upon them; have trouble getting close to others or trusting others in relationships, because they ultimately don't believe their needs can get met in a relationship; avoidant people typically maintain some distance from their partners or are largely emotionally unavailable; intense fear of intimacy.?

Disorganized Attachment:

combination of both the anxious and avoidant attachment styles; they desperately crave affection and want to avoid it at all costs; attachment behaviors can seem inconsistent and oscillate between the extremes of avoidance and anxiousness; significant risks with this attachment include difficulty regulating emotions, heightened sexual behavior, and increased risk for violence in their relationships.

More Info

There is more information about Attachment in my other blogs. Check them out on my website: https://www.sarahobrienlcsw.com/blog

?In addition to reading about attachment....

?Are you intrigued?

Do you need help identifying?

Would you like 1:1 guidance??

Schedule a FREE discovery call to find out if we have a good fit for a working relationship: https://calendly.com/thriveandshinecc

What to do with this information? Self-reflect! Spend some time learning about yourself and your attachment style.

Freebie #1: What Is My Attachment Style Quiz. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rtfphFoRuxrkj_KwdgU7kAx-mE1sniDK/view?usp=sharing

Freebie #2: What Is My Attachment Style Journal Sheets. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IkPBN4IY2LEtl07PGS0jT6UuAiAAOALb/view?usp=sharing

Some more about me + Compassionate Self Tool Kits!

To purchase one of the Compassionate Self Tool Kits use the following link: https://www.sarahobrienlcsw.com/compassionatekits

Sending you boundless good vibes, hoping for a healed heart, & wishing you a peaceful nervous system. Take care of yourself, first and always. ??

-Sarah