Tips for returning to work as a new mother #parents@linkedin

I returned to work 5 months ago after an 11 month maternity leave. In the run up to my return, so many people asked me if I was “dreading going back”, that I started to believe that this was how I should feel. In reality, after my first day back in the office, I knew I had made the right decision. I am very fortunate to have a job that I love, with an amazing team by my side – Having a strong sense of job satisfaction and purpose has really helped me settle back into working life.

…but this doesn’t mean that my transition back into working life was smooth! As I learnt from all of the amazing parents who have supported me and shared their experiences, transitioning back can be an emotional roller-coaster while you learn to adjust to your new life as a working mother.

Here are some tips from what I have learnt in the last 5 months:

1. Set boundaries and don’t be afraid to tell people what they are

It is important that you identify early what your boundaries are. For me, I aim to be home to put my daughter to bed at least 3 nights a week. I built this boundary after I noticed that on weeks when I prioritised staying late in work, I missed my daughter, felt guilty and as a result, became distracted and less productive in work. By setting boundaries, you are setting yourself up for success in all elements of your life. Don’t be afraid to tell people that you now have some boundaries that you didn’t before - Clear definition and communication of your boundaries will allow your manager and peers to be able to understand and support you more effectively.

2. Don’t try and be the same person you were before you became a parent

…Your life has changed. There is no value in hiding it, instead embrace it. You are coming back to work with a fresh perspective and new skills that you did not have before. I am more efficient than I ever imaged I could be – It amazes me all the time how much I can get done in a day now. I am driven to make sure that the time I am spending away from my little girl counts, that I am learning or having a positive impact. Although I am operating on less sleep than ever before, I am now the more efficient, decisive and driven than ever before!

Embrace your new life and your new working style – You are adding value to your team, it might just be a little different to how you did it before.

3. Learn to manage your guilt

It’s a fact of life – Mothers are hounded by feelings of guilt and going back to work puts a big magnifying glass over these feelings.... Guilty that you are leaving your child behind, guilty that you don’t feel like you are working as long hours as others on your team, guilty that you haven’t seen your family enough, guilty that you forgot to ask how your partners day was…….. The list is endless and these thoughts could consume a lot of your energy if you let them. I have accepted that I am going to be hit by feelings of guilt but I now only let them last 24 hours and I then make myself to get over it and move on.

4. Simplify your life

At LinkedIn, we are lucky enough to be offered an amazing full day course hosted by Mumager to help learn how to manage life as a working mother. One of the common themes my group discussed during this day was the importance of simplifying your life. Working a 40+ hour week and being a parent leaves you with very little free time. You have to make conscious choices about how you are going to spend that time. Think about how you can simplify your life to ensure you spend the most amount of time on things you enjoy doing. Whether it’s getting your food delivered to avoid supermarket shopping, batch cooking at the weekend to free up evenings mid week, hiring a cleaner or finding someone to walk your dog.

5. Put on your own oxygen mask first

Finally and most importantly, you need to take care of yourself or you won’t be useful to anyone else! The biggest trap I fell into in the last few months was trying to keep all balls in the air without letting anything drop. I was so focused on proving I could make it work that I hadn’t even stopped to take a breath. I have learnt that you need to prioritise recharging your batteries if you ever stand a chance at being a great employee, mother, partner, friend, child…and the list goes on. 

I have recently taken on responsibility of leading LinkedIns ERG for Parents across EMEA along with Shammy Khan. We aim to drive networking and knowledge sharing among parents at LinkedIn. "Modern Families" are now more diverse than ever before. Having a network of colleagues with similar backgrounds or challenges can offer invaluable support, helping you to be successful both in work and in your personal life. We would love if you took some time to share stories or advice from your experiences as a working parent #parents@linkedin