Returning to work as a new parent is really tough. Even if you have a partner who shares the literal and mental load, a great village around you and a workplace that gives you the flexibility you need around family life.
Some days being a working parent looks like the picture above - operating on 2hrs sleep, looking after a sick toddler who only wants you, and dialling in to a meeting you really didn’t want to miss.
As I start my second parental leave, I've been reflecting on my return to work the first time around in 2022. Specifically what strategies worked for me, and what I will change this time.
Strategies that worked for me
Set and hold your working hours
- Decide what your hours will look like from the outset, agree it with your company and block out your diary accordingly
- For me I chose to arrive at work later in the mornings (9ish) and leave earlier (4ish)
- This meant lots of quality time with our daughter getting ready for the day. Plus evenings weren't a stressful rush to pack in bath, dinner and bedtime without any connection or play
- It also meant a quick lunch break and sometimes dealing with a few emails after dinner, but for me that was the right trade off
- I am generally open and honest, and I intentionally set out to share my experience with my team - talking about my daughter and what she was up to, sharing pictures, and answering any questions they had about parenting or being a working Mum honestly and openly
- It surprised me how something seemingly small made me feel really supported. The team will often ask after my daughter, which is lovely. When she had to have a little surgery, they even sent her flowers
Compartmentalise work and home
- This might not work for everyone, but for the most part I was able quite easily to separate work time from family time
- If I didn't focus on one at a time, I felt like I was failing at both. Being present and focused on where I was in that moment worked best for me
- If you are coming back to the same role part-time, consider job sharing
- Often part-time ends means getting paid part-time to work full-time and cramming five days worth of work into the week regardless
- For me, starting back 4 days in a job share meant knowing someone else was in when I wasn't to deal with anything that might come up, and sharing the workload
What I will also do the second time
- Life admin is admittedly not my forte... but not having holidays booked in advance just meant we didn't take holidays!
- This time around having a plan for when and where holidays will happen and locking dates in early will be a priority to ensure rest and reset
- I found the biggest challenge in the first year back at work was dealing with all the illnesses my daughter picked up at daycare
- Every temperature led to a consulting of our diaries to see who had the day that could most easily be rescheduled and therefore would stay at home with her
- If every day of every week is jam-packed with meetings, moving things around to accommodate illness is very difficult. So actively trying to reduce the number of meetings in your week is a good plan
- Particularly as working Mum, "me" time becomes basically non-existent
- I took the day off for my birthday, which involved a Pilates class, a massage, lunch with girlfriends and some trashy tv... and it really filled my cup
- My build here would be doing this regularly - a day of annual leave or time in lieu spent purely on you once a quarter
Ask for help if you need it
- Another no brainer, but if you're struggling, ask for help
- There was a period of time where I was completely overwhelmed with the juggle and just couldn't see the wood for the trees when it came to getting through the work. I didn't ask for help but thankfully my manager realised and provided support. A weight was lifted immediately
- But I could have saved myself considerable angst by getting there first. Asking for help and being vulnerable aren't a weakness, they are a strength. Another one for future me to keep in mind.
I hope this helps anyone returning to work as parent. It is tough at first, but it does get easier! I'd love to know what other tips returning to work parents have for making the transition a little bit easier.
I will brainwash you to achieve 360-degree success ?? and have it all this year: more time, clarity, energy, parenting joy and fulfilment. Can’t be done? Scroll ??. ??Motivational Speaker??Ex-Snr.Finance Leader??Mum of 2
6 个月Very lovely post Clare Stewart-Hunter ! As a coach for working parents and as a working in corporate parent myself I can 100% say that my “returning to work principles” were very similar : especially with boundaries ,managing everyone’s expectations and embracing flexibility! Few things that potentially can help that always help my clients is to have “me time” scheduled in the family diary. Have your workouts, facials, massages, date nights with your partner -all scheduled for the next 2-4 weeks. I then spend Sunday evening to review and realign if needs to be. If smth happens with bubba -it is much easier to re-schedule but at least you have something already scheduled. If it is not scheduled -The chances are pretty high , you will come up with some other priorities. The same with holidays. I usually have one-two holidays booked in advance in the calendar with a free cancellation option for a hotel ??
Executive Assistant & Office Manager at The Gemba Group
9 个月This is great Clare! I was so lucky to have your support as a first time mum returning to the workforce ??
Specialist in Women's Fitness and Sport coaching. Community Fitness through partnerships with Australia's leading Property Developers.
9 个月Congratulations Clare ??
Senior Copywriter at Bullfrog
9 个月"If I didn't focus on one at a time, I felt like I was failing at both." - This is a perfect articulation of what I've been feeling, having recently returned to work. Great advice, Clare. One other tip that worked for me was to start easing them into daycare a month or two earlier (if you're able to). That way, by the time you return to work, they'll have already gone through the first bout of sickness, you'll both be more used to the separation, and bonus: you get a few free days to yourself!
Marketing Strategist
9 个月Great advice! So proud of you. It sounds like you've navigated the challenge really well. Good luck for number two x