Tips for keeping calm when stakes are high??

Welcome to Quick Confidence! This weekly letter delivers a spritz of stories, tips and simple actions that will build your confidence and your power. Each quick tip bolsters confidence in your body, mind, and relationships so you can lead yourself and others to greatness.?

Neuroscience tells us that we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode when we face a threatening situation.?

Oftentimes, we perceive high-stakes work situations as threats because we feel like these moments will make or break our careers.?

For example, I can remember exactly how I felt as I prepared to speak about a big study I had led, representing my firm before international media.?

It was like living in a bubble of panic! My chest was tight, my palms were sweaty, and my was mind all over the place.

It took everything – and I mean everything – I had not to run in the opposite direction of the stage! My body said, “Fly! Fly! Fly!”

But my mind knew how important this moment was to my career. My mind knew that I was there because I’d earned my spot.?

I just had to figure out how to get my brain to reassure my body that everything was okay.?

Sometimes these perceived *threats* are actually the opportunity of a lifetime!

I developed the following practices to help manage my anxiety before high-stakes events in my career and I think you can benefit from them too.?

Quick Confidence Tips to Remain Confident When the Stakes are High:

1. Embodied: Create a memory palace. Whether your high-stakes moment is public speaking, a pitch, or a 1:1 meeting, consider using a “memory palace” to recollect your key points. This technique requires choosing a place that you know well, like your home or a favorite park. Then, you mentally picture walking through that place, assigning your key points to certain landmarks. So if you’re talking about a new product idea for example, and you’ve overlaid it on the picture of your home, you might talk about the main product idea as you imagine opening the front door and entering the hallway. You might then picture turning left into your living room which marks when you’ll discuss the monetization of the product. Then you might make another left into your kitchen as you discuss the marketing of the product. This mnemonic technique works because it helps make associations between new concepts and old information you already know. I recommend walking through your 'journey' several times with your eyes closed as you speak to your points, graduating to doing it with your eyes open. Then you’ll be ready to remember your main messages at the moment it matters most!
2. Interpersonal: Be intentional with greetings and openings. First impressions can often set the tone for an entire interaction. When preparing to open up an important meeting or speaking engagement, do so with your head held high, your shoulders back, eye contact, a warm smile, and an enthusiastic tone. For me, I’m most effective at this when I remind myself that I am enough - exactly as I am. So let me remind you too: your authentic self is 100% “right” for this moment. Bringing strong, positive energy to the situation will not only make others perceive you as more confident, but you’ll set yourself up for a more relaxed, conversational interaction. You’ll likely realize that interactions that start on the right foot make you feel less guarded and anxious later on.
3. Mindset: Recall past wins. In the days leading up to a high-stakes event, recall moments when you felt really confident and excelled in your work. Perhaps it’s when you solved a major issue within your department, or when you delivered an excellent presentation. Spend a few minutes every day meditating on these memories – really bask in all your confident glory! Feel the little physical sensations too. …Like that tingle running up your spine, the smile spreading on your face, or how it felt to take up space and command attention! This can help train your mind and body to quickly conjure up these amazing memories when you need them. For example…right before you step on stage to talk to hundreds of people – or another high-stakes equivalent.?

How do you prepare for high-stakes situations? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to pick up a few new tips and tricks!

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