Tips for Holiday Visits with Your Loved One Living with Dementia

This is the time of year for visiting. The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone. If you have a loved one living with dementia, they can be even more stressful. Visiting a loved one living with dementia can pose a few challenges. Will they know who I am? What should I say? What do I do if they do something unpredictable? With a little bit of preparation, visits can be special moments that you will remember for a long time. Here are a few tips to make it a great visit for everyone!

1. Don't make it a test. We often inadvertently quiz our loved ones continuously. Do you remember that? Who am I? What is his name? Instead of making it a quiz, set your loved one up for success. Say things like "Hi, Grandma, it's me, Mandy!" The purpose of the visit is to spend a nice time with them, not if they remember your name at this exact point in time. One of my favorite things to do is to tell stories that I remember about that person. Or, if you can't think of a story that involves them, just tell them a nice story.
2. Bring them a fun gift. Small gifts can be great conversation starters. So many toys these days do amazing things. The "fur real" type of animals have been a big hit for us. At Christmas, we have lots of little animatronics that our residents really get a hoot out of. Don't be afraid to shop in the toy isle, sometimes you can find a gem that will make your loved one smile and laugh hundreds of times! Then that item is worth it's weight in gold!
3. Music. Pull up some old favorites on your phone, or burn a cd for your loved one of all their favorite Christmas music. Play it out loud and sing with them. Bring funny reindeer antlers, or a Rudolph nose. Be silly and laugh and reminisce together.
4. Pictures. One of our old family traditions was to take a picture of me and my brother walking into our living room to a tree with lots of presents. We were supposed to look super surprised, even if we weren't. Those pictures are so fun for all of us now. Dig up some old holiday pictures, or old holiday cards. If your loved one can't recall those times or people, tell them the stories.
5. Make an ornament together. If you are really brave and crafty, you can have a lot of success with a making a simple ornament. We have filled plastic ball ornaments with glitter, painted little figurines, and strung beads onto pipe cleaners. There are so many different things you can make and do together, and don't worry about the final product, just enjoy being together.

If all else fails, just smile and hold hands.