Tips for Handling Stress

In recent weeks, we have been asked for help by people who are suffering in stressful situations. This article is based on some of the work we have been doing given our mentoring approach to handling stress in the workplace.

Nobody seeks to be assaulted by stress, yet all of us will experience stress at some time or other, often many times, throughout our work lives. There are many causes of stress in the workplace, be it dealing with an unreasonably bullying boss, clients not paying their bills, trying to get to grips with unrealistic performance or sales targets for the year, a project going horribly wrong and costs spiraling out of control, worse annual performance than forecast or the looming shadow of an organisation restructure which is likely to threaten many jobs, yours included.

When experiencing stress at work, explore the possible causes. Knowledge about these causes is the start of your effective self-managing of stress.

Some of these causes of stress will be outside your control. What really accelerates stress is when we try to handle those things which cannot be controlled. There are, however elements in our work lives which we can control. Managing these will aid in controlling the level of stress we have to endure.

Many of us have suffered from the symptoms of stress, disturbing us and negatively impacting on how we operate. A stressful work environment can contribute to problems such as headaches, stomach aches, sleep disturbances, short tempers, stiffening muscles, sciatica, and difficulty concentrating. Stress can lead to problems from lethargy, under-eating, over-eating, drinking too much, inability to engage with others and many other physical and mental indications. Chronic stress can create anxiety, long-term high blood pressure and a weakened immune system as well as clinical-depression, obesity, anorexia, heart disease and insomnia.

Stress has a dreadful habit of creating many possible different future scenarios and fantasies in our minds which are actually just not going to happen, especially in those lonely sleepless moments in the middle of the night. Allowing ourselves to be driven by stress and allowing these night-time apocalyptic scenarios to impact on what we think, ensures even further increased stress levels.

When stressful situations arrive like an unwanted virus we can lose hope, and we act in self-destructive ways. If bogged in stress it can feel as if the world is sucking us down and there is no way out of the swamp; searching for survival can be hard, never mind the herculean task of uncovering ways to be positive, or even think about how to go about achieving personal vision or goals.

We need to find inner strength to handle stress, struggle against harmful reactions to stress and work our way through situations.

And do not fear getting help. Look to your friends and identify those who you believe are prepared to be there for you; listening and not preaching, helping and not scolding, being present when you need them rather than running a mile when they see you are suffering.

Talk to a mentor at work. This mentor could be your immediate boss or if this individual is part of the causes of stress, or just does not engender confidence, then look further afield. The mentor could be a senior player who you trust within the organisation or someone outside the enterprise; trust their processes, motives and values. Medical professional help is also worth exploring; psychotherapists can give you immediate tactics to aid in clambering out of the swamp caused by stress and also explore deeper issues which might make you prone to suffer in stressful situations.

Living in the moment and not existing in fantasies about possible ugly futures is the next step in handling stress once you have identified the probable causes. Take a breath, be mindful of where you are and ask yourself what next action will move your vision forward and drive your broad goals; what action will help you out of the swamp. Some people find the practices of mindfulness or meditation a great way to handle very stressful situations.

If we put time and space between visceral immediate reactions to stressful occurrences then we give ourselves a chance to reflect. Through reflection we can amend our actions and generate moderated reactions which will then be less influenced by dire feelings stimulated by stress. We can do more than being swamped, more than survive; we can thrive if we give ourselves time and act positively.

Handling immediate tasks which can be completed speedily helps clear the mind. If we focus on a single task which can be successfully handled, we will begin training ourselves to be less stressed. The military insists soldiers tidy their beds first thing in the morning, creating discipline and achievement at the start of each day. So our first task could be as simple as ensuring the bed is made before leaving home for work.

It is amazing how much easier it is to deal with stressful situations when we stick to good habits; when we can remind ourselves we will handle the causes of a stressful situation and recognise this is a painful, tough period we have to get through. Stick to your values and do not let stress derail you. Override the reflex to let stress deflect you by reminding yourself now is the time to be your best, not your worst.

The alternative to doing something and acting decisively is to do nothing, which is even more stressful. When things are hard it is so comforting to pull the duvet up higher and snuggle deeper into the nest of self-pity and hope all be good tomorrow. Tomorrow will not come unless you get out of the pit, and this is hard when you are deep in stress but is a vital reaction. Get up and start the day.

Give time in the morning to do something physical; exercise, a swim or a walk, treating yourself to a ‘wake-up’ in the morning and keep the day ‘real’, rather than wallowing in those negative fantasies which might have been disturbing sleep in the darkest part of the night. With lack of sleep being a symptom of stress, make sure you are living the ‘early to bed, early to rise’ mantra.

Stressful work situations also create long working hours often with unavoidable overnight sessions; try to reduce these and certainly do not put in over-nighters as a habit.

Drinking water regularly, eating healthily, a little but often through the day, also helps keep energy levels up and again keeps the mind focused. Dehydration disrupts our bodies and well-being as does missing out on fuel from nutritious food.

Ensuring time is spent on one job at a time is a real help in handling stressful situations. Make a prioritised written list of every task. Reward yourself upon completion of each task. Do not procrastinate; get on with the next task as soon as possible. Ensure your physical work-space is tidy; yes, tidy up the desk and the diary – and ensure your home is also kept neat and tidy! Clearing the desk (including the desktop on your computer) of everything not immediately needed really helps focus your mind on the job in-hand. Ensuring your diary is realistically planned will help take stress away. Allocate enough time for tasks, including travel-time to get to and get back from sessions and meetings without being late.

Multitasking is less productive than doing a single thing at a time. Allowing ourselves to suffer under a tsunami of a plethora of tasks we are trying to move forward at the same time will almost certainly ensure we achieve little and add to our stress levels. We will be left staring at a raft of jobs which just do not seem to get finished.

We all know there is a risk of failure when investing time in focusing on a single task and who among us wants to fail at anything.

But failure will happen from time to time. Remember we need to fail often, fail quickly and fail cheaply to ensure we keep learning. Our brains lack the capacity to perform many tasks successfully, no matter what we are told by some, so do not spread time and energy too thin. Do not chase after every task immediately; be an effective prioritiser and give enough time for each task.

Having said this, there are few feelings which can compare to the excitement and exhilaration of accomplishing the seemingly impossible. For those who find public speaking difficult, giving a keynote speech at a convention certainly releases so many positive feelings. Accomplishing difficult tasks will certainly aid in managing stress and re-building self-belief. Give yourself some big wins as well as small wins.

Of course work-life will not go as smoothly as task lists suggest; most of the time we will face discomfort because plans are invariably going to be de-railed. Learning how to deal with distractions, interruptions and urgent jobs is a vital foundation for relieving stress.

Some of these distractions and interruptions will be vital to address, but most will not need immediate attention. Learning how to differentiate between which disruptions need immediate attention and which can be delayed is a great life-skill. Learning how to manage our time is one of the key foundations for reducing stress in our work lives, especially with the ever growing number of electronic communication platforms where constantly flickering red lights flagging up urgent inbound messages demand our immediate focus and a rapid response.

On a final note, there are those who thrive in stressful situations.

Indeed there are some who believe we only grow when we feel some level of discomfort and stress. Performance at work can peak for many of us when we are challenged and are out of our comfort zones. When settled comfortably and not alert, our performance can suffer from this retreat from being challenged and from inaction; moving out of our comfort zones and stretching ourselves is vital for our well-being and future success.

Staying in your comfort zone means stagnation; we do not achieve great things or accomplish stretching goals when we are lazily lounging in these comfort zones. The trick? Knowing just how much stress you can handle at any moment in time.