Tips on handling Cyber Bullying

As promised last week,  I am publishing some tips on how to prevent and deal with cyber bullying.  These are not comprehensive but they are a start.  Like so many things, it will work a whole lot better if parents and schools show a united front on this and the single most important thing in this context is teach your kids about responsible Internet use.  Also, I know that a lot of these recommendations are easier said than done but you eat an elephant one bite at a time and these make for a good first bite.  Here we go:

1. Teach pupils to never post or say anything online that they wouldn’t want the whole world – including you – to read.  Especially confidences - if you don't want people to know about something don't put it on Facebook.
2. Give children the confidence and opportunity to reach out to an adult at the first sign of trouble.  A big part of this is not going completely postal and generally overacting when they tell you about some kind of online problem.  A lot of kids won't confide in their parents or teachers because they fear that once they find out about the cyber bullying, they will take away their Internet access or their smartphone.
3. Schools and parents should draw parallels between cyber bullying and bullying that takes place elsewhere.  If kids see it happening online or are aware of it and then not reporting, it is tantamount to condoning it - just like if it was in the playground, park or on the way home from school.
4. Educate kids about the tools at their disposal if the are subjected to bullying online.  Facebook provides advice and guidance around this as do most community and social networking sites.

5. Give them some practical strategies to deal with online bullies.  Simply stop is the best one i.e. stop using the chat room, online game, instant messaging, social networking site, etc. if things take a nasty turn.  Show them how to block the messages and encourage them to never reply to harassing messages.  Save any harassing messages and forward them to your ISP.  Most service providers have Appropriate Use Policies that restrict users from harassing others over the Internet – and that includes kids.

6. Schools can add a clause to their bullying policy reserving the right to discipline a pupil for actions taken off-campus if they are intended to have an effect on another pupil or directly affect the well-being of another pupil in school.   However, the response shouldn't just be about punishment.  Bullies must understand how their actions impacted on their victims.  Involve the pupils at the receiving end as part of the solution.  Restorative justice is a powerful tool.