Tips to Get Social in an Increasingly Unsocial World

With summer winding down, how often do you see your friends or family socially?

I was surprised to learn that in the Seattle area, 42% of people have no more than one social interaction a week. On average, of the 15 major metro areas, Seattle is the second lowest, only after San Bernardino. The inverse is also true, Seattle has the lowest percentage of super connectors (those who have 3+ social interactions per week). The city that is most social is San Francisco, which Seattle is often compared to.?

The lack of social connections that can lead to loneliness is bad for our health.? US Surgeon General Dr Vivek Murthy wrote “the impact of lacking social connection on reducing lifespan is equal to the risk of smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and it’s greater than the risk associated with obesity, excess alcohol consumption, and lack of exercise.” Social interactions matter.?

Being social doesn’t require doing it with a lot of different people at the same time. Even though I get energy from other people, I also have a deep introverted side. Most of my interactions are one-on-one. I also don’t think socializing doesn’t require connecting in-person. Because I now live in a suburb without a car or easy public transit access, most of my social interactions are virtual. In any given week, I'll have five to ten 1:1 social calls. I have started and deepened many friendships over the phone.?

Social interactions seldom just happen randomly. They have to be actively cultivated. Here are six ways to increase your social interactions:

Deepen relationships with acquaintances.

Consider acquaintances you'd like to deepen your connection with and reach out to them. I did this by inviting individual acquaintances over for Sunday-night dinner where the two of us cooked and ate a meal together. I deepened many relationships this way.

Ask your friends for introductions.??

This is particularly beneficial when relocating or starting a new job. If you hear a friend talk about another friend of theirs you’d like to know, ask them to introduce you. I meet many people this way. Just recently Andrea Parrish and Aaron Hurst . You'd be amazed at the connections your network can introduce you to.?

Engage in Online Communities

Online forums and groups offer a space to form meaningful friendships without the necessity of in-person interaction. This platform can be a treasure trove for connecting with like-minded individuals.

Volunteer Your Time

Volunteering unites people under a common cause, making it easier to form friendships. My personal journey has been enriched by the bonds formed through community service. I’ve met many friends through Social Venture Partners Seattle Leadership Tomorrow International Women's Forum Impact 100 Seattle NAAAP (National Association of Asian American Professionals)

Participate in Meetup Groups

Explore interests through clubs, such as books or hiking groups. These gatherings are a fantastic way to engage in conversations about shared passions. I admit I don’t do this, though I know many people who tell me how they’ve met friends this way.

Attend Networking Events

Though meeting a group of strangers might seem intimidating, networking events are designed for connection. To ease any nervousness, check out our tips on networking skills. Your local chamber of commerce is a great resource for finding these opportunities. Check out the Seattle Metropolitan Chamber of Commerce and Tabor 100

I created a video version of these tips too.

Do you have other tips to share for increasing social interactions? I’d love to hear them.

I’m Dr. Julie Pham and I founded CuriosityBased to help people practice curiosity in the world, starting in the workplace, because that is where we spend most of our waking hours. Subscribe to the CuriosityBased YouTube channel for more helpful communication tips and to our weekly newsletter.