Tips for family carers looking after a loved one with dementia at home

Here are my “top ten tips” for unpaid family carers supporting someone with more advanced dementia. Always the person with dementia is the most important person in the room.

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·?????? Prioritise self-care: Make time for your own physical and mental health needs. You can’t allow your own battery to go flat.? You’re not a good carer unless you are charged up enough.

·?????? Seek support if you need to: Connect with local carer services, support groups, and other families in similar situations. This can provide emotional support and practical advice. The chances are that somebody else has seen your situation before.

·?????? Educate yourself: Learn about dementia and how it progresses to better understand and anticipate the needs of the person you're caring for. It’ll be a ‘steep learning curve’, whatever your background. Knowledge is power.

·?????? Establish routines: Create consistent daily routines to provide structure and reduce confusion for you and the person with dementia.

·?????? Encourage independence: Allow the person with dementia to do as much as they can on their own, offering support only when necessary. Stop yourself when you find yourself dis-empowering the person with dementia, i.e. forcefully combing his or her own hair.

·?????? Communicate effectively: Try to Use clear, simple language and non-verbal cues to enhance communication.

·?????? Plan for the future: Discuss legal, financial, and care preferences early on while the person with dementia can still participate in decision-making. Arrange the lasting power of attorney early. ?Check in on various aspects, such as the last will and testament, welfare benefits. Try not to overthink the future: the present is a gift.

·?????? Make the environment safe: Adapt the living space to reduce risks and support independence. Watch out for bits of furniture ‘on wheels’. They can get dangerous if the person with dementia gets angry.

·?????? Engage in meaningful activities: Encourage participation in activities that the person enjoys and that stimulate their mind, such as reminiscence or life story work. Don’t force activities which are ‘unnatural’ to the person with dementia, like listening to Dame Vera Lynn or ‘bino’. Remember that ‘reminiscence’ is not the same as ‘history lessons’.

·?????? Take regular breaks: Another name for ‘respite’ is a holiday.? Look early into holiday options. Don’t put off taking a break.

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As time goes on, you may find that everyday is a ‘new normal’. ?Don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it, and make sure to acknowledge and congratulate yourself on your own efforts in providing care.