Tips for Families for Fall Holidays

The days are filled with the bustle of holiday shopping, looking up new recipes, cooking and baking new, unfamiliar flavors, and families and friends have begun to gather for the fall holiday season. Schools begin to let out for a week or two, and children are buzzing around the house with freedom and newfound energy. All this excitement and dysregulation can often make a child feel uncertain, eager, and anxious all at the same time. So, how do we best support our child during this time? Autism Care Partners’ brilliant managing BCBA, Nicole Dodd, sat down and thoughtfully put the following together to ensure this year’s fall holidays are a success.

First, talk it up. Discuss with your child what to expect on the day of your fall holiday and during break. Have conversations about it and read social stories! There are lots of wonderful fall holiday stories that can introduce the season, give age-appropriate introductions to the holidays, and prepare a child for what is to come in a way that is fun and engaging. Some of our favorites are I Am Thankful: A Thanksgiving Book for Kids, Fry Break: A Native American Family Story, The Light Within You, and Goodbye Autumn, Hello Winter.

Make sure there are "safe" foods. If your child is a picky eater, bring along some foods you know they will eat. The fall holidays are a great time to try something new or your child might be exposed to food that is only served on these particular holidays—either way, sometimes all this new stuff is just overwhelming. Maybe your child will try a bite of something they are unsure about, but it’s helpful to bring foods you know they do like to ensure everyone has a full tummy at the end of dinner!

Stick to your routine as much as possible. Allow your child to follow as much normalcy as possible. Fall break can be a tempting time to sleep in, binge television shows, and eat lots and lots of treats. However, these disruptions during such a short break can make it more challenging to transition back to school in a few short days. What little “treats” can we reward ourselves with—like sleeping in for 30 minutes versus all day, watching an extra episode of our favorite television show, but then reading a book together before bed, or having a slice of pecan pie alongside a healthy dinner? It’s a great time to reward ourselves with a break and feel thankful for the privilege of having these rewards, but it’s also helpful to ensure we don’t get too off-track.

Be prepared. If you are going to a home your child is unfamiliar or less familiar with, it can be hard for them to know what they can do, where they can go, and where things are. This can be stressful for a young child. Or, perhaps there is a much larger group of children at your gathering, and toys must be thinly shared. Bring toys, activities, sensory items, etc. to help your child feel engaged and entertained in this new environment.

Prepare for sensory concerns. Holidays are noisy! Lots of people crammed in one space, music floating through the air, football games playing on the television, the sound of buzzing cellphones, kitchen timers, barking dogs, unfamiliar toys that bang, squeak, honk, clang, clink… The holidays can be a lot for a child who is bothered by noise. Bring headphones or have a plan for a quieter space for them.

Practice mealtime behaviors with your child. There are lots of new and unfamiliar things your child will experience this time of year. Help them feel comfortable by practicing mealtime behaviors with your child. How do we politely decline food? Where will we sit and who do we sit by? What do we do when we’re full? What do we do when we need a break? Will we like what’s there? Just like any unpracticed situation can be intimidating for an adult, unpracticed, unfamiliar situations can be challenging for a child to quickly adapt to.

If you are not hosting at your home, talk to the host in advance about what to expect and ways to make the day more successful for your child. Sometimes a child with an autism diagnosis will need to wear noise-canceling headphones, play in a quieter location, or engage in sensory play that is calming and normal in your own home. Even with the best intentions, family or friends who are not as familiar with your child might be confused or discourage your child from seeking out these things that usually bring them peace. Ask the host in advance if there is a room in the house that would be okay if your child played in quietly if they needed space. Does the host have toys that encourage physical movement like a mini trampoline or swing? If not, would there be space for your own larger toys like balancing stones or sensory tents, sacks, or tunnels? Being honest with the host about things you do to help keep your child safe and engaged can help create a partner on-site who knows their space and can have it ready for your child’s arrival.

Discuss with your child a signal to use if they are feeling overwhelmed or provide them with a way to request a break, space or quiet. With all the noise of a holiday or with just the uneasiness of being in an unfamiliar place, it can be hard for your child to rely on communication tools that work easily in their quiet, familiar home. Having a signal you and your child—and maybe the host!—recognize can help them communicate their needs and wants before these feelings get too big.

All in all, you know your child best and know what things typically trigger a nervous response. We hope these tips can help you brainstorm the best ways to support your child during this break in routine and participation in unfamiliar events. With a little preparation work, you can set yourself, your child, and your friends and family up for success this fall holiday season. Happy holidays!