Tip 32: Sharing Someone Else's Story

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When I worked in offices, I often formed connections with receptionists. They were sometimes the person I talked to the most. Three stand out. There was Michelle*, a middle-aged single mother whose young son was so aware of his mother's lack of maternal instinct that he'd suggest staying with relatives to give her a break. She took naps on the floor under her desk during her lunch hour. It was only the second office I had worked in then, so seeing her rise from the floor at 1 pm that first time was very confusing.

Michelle's struggle to be a caring mother while loathing motherhood and insistence on sleeping wherever she wanted struck me as bold and authentic. Now, much older than she was then, I believe she was just tired.

Then there was Chris, a young woman who treated me like a mother, although I was only 27, and she was about 21. She was brilliant, beautiful, and boy-crazy and asked me questions about life that I could then only answer hypothetically. Her reality was the polar opposite of mine, and it fascinated her. Knowing I lived alone and had a far less complicated social life than she did, one day she asked, looking at me with deep sincerity and curiosity -

"So, when you get home, what do you do?"

An incoming call rescued me so I avoided admitting that I didn't have an answer that would satisfy either of us. It was my first clue that there should be more to life than work.

Finally, there was Helen. When I try to picture her today, she doesn't seem real. She was ethereal, with an aesthetic that was Bohemian meets corporate elegance. She kept her dreadlocks curly and styled them with no limits. She took more vitamins daily than I had ever seen, drank over a gallon of water a day, and had a workout regimen that, based on the results, must have been worthy of an Olympian. To me, she was everything all at once.

But between our many conversations about the incredible people she knew and the wild stuff she's done, I learned she was just a mortal with victories and losses - only a woman who, as we often do, gave when she should have taken and took when she should have given. I learned from her that the hardest part about being yourself is keeping yourself in a world that discourages you from doing so.

There are so many stories from them that influenced my perspective on the various ways a woman can live her life. Sometimes I want to share stories I heard from them and other people I've encountered but I worry whether I can do them justice. Truthfully, it does become my story because it's the story of their influence on me. But, that doesn't change the fact that the scars belong to them.

Telling your own story can feel natural, but what about telling stories that aren’t yours? Here are five tips to help you connect with and relay stories that aren't your own while ensuring they resonate deeply with your audience.

1. Start with curiosity - Approach the story as a learner, seeking to understand its core elements and emotional impact. This mindset ensures you convey the story authentically. For example, when presenting a historical case study in a workshop, ask yourself questions like, “What challenges did the person face? What motivated their decisions?” These insights will help you bring the story to life for your audience.
2. Immerse yourself in the details - Authenticity comes from understanding the story’s context, characters, and emotions. The more you know, the more convincingly you can convey it. For example, when facilitating a scenario about a customer service mishap, imagine yourself in the situation—what would the customer feel? What would the employee think? This empathy lets you narrate the story with depth and credibility.
3. Adapt your delivery to fit the story - The tone, pacing, and style you use should match the story’s mood and intent. This alignment helps the audience connect with its message. For example, if the story involves a team persevering during a natural disaster, your delivery should convey urgency and resilience, not levity. Matching your tone to the narrative ensures you honor its context.
4. Add your personal connection - Even when the story isn’t yours, you can create a personal bridge to it. Sharing why it resonates with you builds credibility and helps your audience see its relevance. For example, when sharing a story about a teacher transforming a struggling student’s life, you might say, “This reminds me of a mentor who encouraged me during my toughest moments. Their impact, like this teacher’s, was life-changing.”
5. Focus on universal themes - Highlight elements like perseverance, growth, or transformation that anyone can relate to. These themes make the story feel meaningful regardless of its origin. For example, if you’re telling a story about a young entrepreneur’s journey to success, emphasize themes like overcoming fear or embracing failure, which resonate with a wide range of audiences.

Telling stories that aren’t yours requires care, curiosity, and respect. By starting with curiosity, immersing yourself in the details, adapting your delivery to fit the story, sharing your personal connection, and focusing on universal themes, you can deliver these stories with the same authenticity and passion as if they were your own. The next time you’re asked to tell someone else’s story, see it as an opportunity to amplify its impact while staying true to its essence.

*Not their real names.

Upcoming Events

Training 2025, Orlando, February 17-19

• Pre-conference Workshop: Elearning Design Certificate Program, February 15-16
• Concurrent Session: The Power of Story in Quality Management Advocacy, Monday, Feb 17, 2:30 ET)

Books

Quality Management in Learning and Development (2024)

StoryTraining: Selecting and Shaping Stories That Connect (2018)

ATD's Handbook for Training and Talent Development - Chapter 16 (2022)

TD at Work Guide: Power E-Learning With Stories (2021)

TD at Work Guide: Get the Whole Picture With a Performance Assessment (2018)