Tip 21: Practice Reflection

"We do not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience." - John Dewey

We seem to live in an anti-reflection society.

"Move on!" "Don't dwell on the past!" "Get over it!"

I know people who say they do not look backward, only forward. I think to myself, "Bless your heart, but that's probably why you keep running into the same brick wall that you somehow haven't learned to avoid. Just sayin'."

While I don't support obsessive ruminating or holding on to regrets, I've always been a big believer in reflecting and learning from your mistakes. Yes, you move forward but don't forget to take the lesson with you.

The ability to reflect is crucial to personal storytelling. When you take the time to reflect, you may gain a deeper understanding of your experiences, which allows you to see the incident from different angles. This perspective helps you convey your story with clarity and focus, ensuring that the core message and key themes are coherent and impactful. Moreover, reflection enhances emotional connection, as it helps you to express your feelings and reactions genuinely, creating a stronger bond with your audience.

Reflecting on your story also makes it more relatable, as it demonstrates vulnerability and the human side of your experiences, adding authenticity and making your narrative resonate more deeply with listeners.

Resisting Reflection

People often resist reflection for several reasons, many of which are rooted in discomfort and fear. Reflection requires confronting emotions and experiences that may be painful or unsettling, which can be daunting for many individuals. This process often brings up vulnerabilities, mistakes, and regrets, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, or sadness. Additionally, people may feel they lack the time or energy to engage in deep, introspective thought, preferring to focus on immediate tasks and distractions.

Another reason for resistance is the fear of change. Reflection can lead to realizations that necessitate changes in behavior, beliefs, or life choices, which can be intimidating. This is one reason many people say they avoid therapy. The potential for self-discovery and the subsequent responsibility to act on new insights can create significant anxiety. Moreover, some people may not have developed the skills or habits of reflection, finding it challenging to know where to start or how to engage in meaningful introspection.

Cultural factors also play a role. In societies that prioritize action and productivity over contemplation, reflection might be undervalued or even viewed as a waste of time. Consequently, people may not see the immediate benefits of reflection and thus avoid it.

Three Tips for Reflecting

Here are three tips for embracing reflection unearth personal stories:

1. Practice self-compassion: Approach reflection with kindness and understanding towards yourself. Accept that it's okay to feel a range of emotions and that reflecting on challenging experiences is a part of growth. This mindset will make the process less daunting and more constructive.
2. Keep a reflection journal: Regularly write down your thoughts and experiences in a journal. This practice can help you organize your memories, recognize patterns, and gain insights over time, making it easier to craft compelling personal stories.
3. Use prompts and questions: Utilize reflective prompts or questions to guide your thinking. Questions like "What did I learn from this experience?" or "How did this event shape who I am today?" can help you explore different facets of your story and gain deeper insights

Reflection Tools

Speaking of prompts and questions, below are three tools (and a download) you may find useful.

Personal Experience Inventory

A Personal Experience Inventory is a powerful tool for discovering and organizing the stories of your life. By methodically cataloging significant events, this template allows you to identify experiences that have had a profound impact on you. As you reflect on these events, you start to uncover rich narratives that you may have overlooked or forgotten.

The process of filling out the inventory prompts you to reflect on various aspects of your life—highs, lows, turning points, and everyday moments—to reveal a wide array of potential stories. Each entry provides a snapshot of your life’s journey, highlighting the emotions and lessons associated with each experience.

Transformative Story Prompts

Transformative story prompts are an excellent resource for uncovering impactful and engaging personal stories. These prompts are designed to jog your memory and guide you toward experiences that have significantly influenced your life.

When you engage with transformative story prompts, they lead you to reflect on specific moments of change, growth, and learning. Questions like "What is a significant challenge you faced and overcame?" or "Describe a turning point in your life" encourage you to recall events that were pivotal. These moments are often rich with emotions and lessons, making them powerful stories to share.

As you think about your responses to these prompts, you start to see patterns in your experiences. You might notice recurring themes of resilience, courage, or transformation. This not only helps you identify individual stories but also gives you a broader perspective on your personal journey.

Audience Relevance Checklist

An audience relevance checklist is a valuable tool for identifying which of your personal stories will resonate most with your audience. By systematically evaluating your stories against specific criteria, this checklist ensures that the narratives you choose to share are not only engaging but also meaningful and impactful for your listeners.

Using the checklist prompts you to consider various aspects of your stories, such as whether they address common challenges faced by your audience or if they provide valuable lessons and insights. This helps you align your experiences with the interests and needs of your audience, ensuring that your stories are relevant and relatable.

Download the Reflection Tools

Upcoming Events

55th Federally Employed Women National Training Program, The Power of Personal Narratives in Leadership Development, Chicago, August 8th at 8:30 AM CT (+ Virtual session at 10:30 am CT)

I4PL Peel-Halton chapter: Quality Management Basics for Learning and Development Teams, Online, Thursday, August 15, 12:00 - 1:00 PM ET

Chicago eLearning & Technology Showcase, Naperville, IL, August 20

What Is Quality? Defining It and Crafting a Mission to Support It, Online, Training Magazine, August 21, 12:00 PM PT / 3:00 PM ET

Training Magazine's TechLearn 2024 Conference, Austin, TX, September 17-19

• Pre-conference Workshop: Elearning Design Certificate Program, September 16-17
• Concurrent Session: Quality by Design: Integrating Quality Management into L&D (Wednesday, Sept 18, 11:15 CT)

Devlearn, Las Vegas, NV, November 6-8

• Pre-conference Workshop: P09: Persuasive Engagement: Crafting Compelling eLearning, November 5
• Concurrent Session: The Art of the Serial: Deploy Serialized Storytelling in eLearning (Wednesday, November 6, 10:45 am)

Books

Quality Management in Learning and Development (2024)

StoryTraining: Selecting and Shaping Stories That Connect (2018)

ATD's Handbook for Training and Talent Development - Chapter 16 (2022)

TD at Work Guide: Power E-Learning With Stories (2021)

TD at Work Guide: Get the Whole Picture With a Performance Assessment (2018)