Tip 20: Personalize your story

Nearly everyone who teaches and speaks about storytelling shares messaging about the power of sharing personal stories in a business context. Yet, I honestly don't know whether I've converted anyone. Yes, some are more open to hearing YOUR stories but aren't ready to share theirs. Most doubters still aren't having any of it, no matter how much they nod at me during my sessions. At the end of the day, it all sounds like "fluff" to them.

I often want to ask those people:

• Is all the social anxiety you overcame to build the professional relationships you have today "fluff"?
• Is what you learned about yourself when you got promoted and had to now manage your ex-peers "fluff"?
• Is the post-layoff rut you had to pull yourself out of to start your own consulting firm "fluff"?

For most of us, your personal experiences shaped you into the professional you are today more than any work project you've taken on. any book you've ever read or any boss you've ever battled.

Basically, is the person you are and the journey you took to get here "fluff"?

I hope you don't think so because I certainly don't. In some ways, it's all that really matters. Otherwise, you could take two people, give them the same experiences, and end up with the same results.

But, I digress...

Many of you want to try personal storytelling, but one concern stops you:

How do you ensure you don't go too far with a personal story?

While the answer is relative, one fact remains: You owe your audience honesty, authenticity, and perhaps, vulnerability - but you don't owe them a breakdown. You decide how much you reveal - not the moment, not the audience, not even the story itself.

Here are a few tips to help you navigate that challenge.

Tip 1: Focus on intent.

When personalizing a story, it’s crucial to understand your intent. Ask yourself: why are you sharing this story? What message do you want to convey? Focusing on your intent helps ensure that your story remains relevant and meaningful to your audience. It prevents you from sharing details that might be too personal or off-topic.

For example, if your goal is to inspire others by sharing a challenge you overcame, focus on the lessons learned and the positive outcomes rather than delving into every painful detail. This way, your story remains impactful and appropriate for your audience. It’s about highlighting the key takeaways that align with your message. When you focus on the intent, it guides your narrative, making it easier to decide what to include and what to leave out. This approach keeps your story coherent and ensures that it resonates with your audience while maintaining your boundaries.

Tip 2: View from different perspectives.

When you view an incident from different angles, it facilitates stepping back from the story and examining it in various ways. By focusing on different parts of the story, you can uncover new insights and broader meanings. This approach allows you to still use the story without revealing any painful elements.

For example, consider a challenging experience and look at it from multiple viewpoints: your perspective at the time, how others might have seen it, and how you view it now. By shifting focus to different aspects, like the lessons learned or the growth experienced, you can share a rich, multifaceted narrative that remains personal yet avoids discomfort. This method helps you detach emotionally and find universal themes that can connect with your audience. It enables you to transform a personal experience into a more relatable and less vulnerable story, making it both impactful and safe to share.

Tip 3: Improve your storytelling skills (and practice).

Enhancing your storytelling skills is vital for effectively personalizing and delivering your stories. Invest time in learning storytelling techniques, such as structuring your narrative, developing compelling characters, and using vivid descriptions. Practicing these skills will help you tell your stories more engagingly and confidently.

Practicing will also help you stay within the boundaries you create. And the more you practice, the more natural and fluid your storytelling will become. By improving your skills, you'll be able to craft and deliver personal stories that captivate and resonate with your audience.

Tip 4: If you can't talk about it, don't talk about it.

Sharing personal stories can be therapeutic, but it's essential to ensure that you're emotionally ready to share. If a particular experience is still a source of pain or unresolved emotions, it might be best to hold off on sharing it publicly. Speaking about something too raw can not only be difficult for you but can also make your audience uncomfortable.

Wait until you have gained enough distance and perspective on the experience to discuss it with clarity and composure. This way, you can share your story from a place of strength and insight, making it more impactful and relatable to your audience. When you have processed the experience fully, you can articulate the story more effectively and highlight the key lessons and personal growth that resulted from it. This ensures that your story is not only engaging but also serves as a source of inspiration and learning for your audience.

Tip 5: Trust yourself.

Believe in the value of your experiences and the authenticity of your voice. Self-doubt can hinder your storytelling, making you second-guess your choices and hold back on sharing meaningful details.

Remind yourself that your unique perspective is valuable and that your audience is interested in hearing your genuine experiences. Confidence in your storytelling comes from trusting your instincts and embracing your individuality. When you trust yourself, you can share your stories with conviction and authenticity, creating a stronger connection with your audience.

You may wonder whether the benefits outweigh the risks. That's for you to decide. I struggle with that idea. I've erased many newsletters and posts at the last minute, rewritten many to change the focus or to lighten the tone, and regretted publishing some that did make it to publication—the most vulnerable among them. I worry about what people will think of me because of either the content or the unwise decision to post such a thing.

While it's often not clear to me how I decide whether to publish or delete, I'm aware of where the line is for me. But improving my storytelling skills has taught me that the only way to share yourself comfortably with your audience is to...

Trust yourself with your story. Trust yourself with your heart.

Upcoming Events

Instructional Design Professionals Conference , Keynote, Online, July 16-17

55th Federally Employed Women National Training Program , The Power of Personal Narratives in Leadership Development, Chicago, August 8th at 8:30 AM CT (+ Virtual session at 10:30 am CT)

I4PL Peel-Halton chapter: Quality Management Basics for Learning and Development Teams , Online, Thursday, August 15, 12:00 - 1:00 PM ET

Chicago eLearning & Technology Showcase , Naperville, IL, August 20

What Is Quality? Defining It and Crafting a Mission to Support It , Online, Training Magazine, August 21, 12:00 PM PT / 3:00 PM ET

Training Magazine's TechLearn 2024 Conference , Austin, TX, September 17-19

• Pre-conference Workshop: Elearning Design Certificate Program, September 16-17
• Concurrent Session: Quality by Design: Integrating Quality Management into L&D (Wednesday, Sept 18, 11:15 CT)

Devlearn , Las Vegas, NV, November 6-8

• Pre-conference Workshop: P09: Persuasive Engagement: Crafting Compelling eLearning , November 5
• Concurrent Session: The Art of the Serial: Deploy Serialized Storytelling in eLearning (Wednesday, November 6, 10:45 am)

Books

Quality Management in Learning and Development (2024)

StoryTraining: Selecting and Shaping Stories That Connect (2018)

ATD's Handbook for Training and Talent Development - Chapter 16 (2022)

TD at Work Guide: Power E-Learning With Stories (2021)

TD at Work Guide: Get the Whole Picture With a Performance Assessment (2018)