Tip 11: Write with authenticity

I used to say that there's Hadiya, Hadiya 2.0, and Hadiya 3.0. Hadiya is shy, quiet, and reserved. Hadiya 2.0 is funny, engaging, and often delightful. Hadiya 3.0 is an inebriated Hadiya 2.0 - I haven't seen her in a while, but I'm told she was a blast. When I presented Hadiya 2.0, people would say I was "real" and "authentic," but I felt bad because I believed that this "real" person was not actually me. The real Hadiya with the original factory settings just wants to crawl under a comforter. Last December, after giving a speech and being presented with an award on stage, I returned to my seat, wondering, "Do you think people would notice if I quietly slid onto the floor and discreetly rolled under the stage and stayed there until the keynote was over?" For a few seconds, it seemed like a reasonable option (sadly, the stairs were in the way).

It wasn't until I began working for myself and no longer had to shuffle through a personality playlist for co-workers and managers on a daily basis that I discovered there is only one Hadiya who is funny and engaging and also quiet and reserved and also would very much rather roll under a stage than be on it. I am all the things - a multi-pack if you will. And so are you, probably.

All this is to say that authenticity is more complicated than just labeling people as "real." Brene Brown has a take on authenticity that resonates with me. She writes that authenticity is not a trait or a quality that someone possesses but a choice in one's daily life. It involves showing up, being honest, and letting our true selves be seen despite fearing judgment or rejection. So, my read on that is that writing with authenticity requires making a commitment to telling the truth - your truth - as you see it. That choice comes more naturally and often to some than others, but there's always that choice.

Authenticity in Personal Storytelling

Writing with authenticity in personal storytelling is crucial as it fosters a genuine connection between the narrator and the audience, allowing readers or listeners to feel the sincerity and truth behind the words. This authenticity helps build trust, making the story more relatable and believable, which is especially important in narratives based on real experiences. Authentic writing captures the unique voice and perspective of the storyteller, adding depth and richness to the narrative and differentiating it from more generic stories. It also enables the conveyance of emotions and experiences in a way that resonates deeply with the audience, as they recognize and empathize with the genuine feelings and situations presented. Furthermore, authentic storytelling encourages introspection and reflection, both for the writer and the audience, leading to a more impactful and memorable storytelling experience.

Here are a few examples:

Example 1: The Struggle of Starting a Business

"When I decided to start my own business, I had no illusions that it would be easy. But nothing prepared me for the constant stream of challenges. Each day brought a new problem - whether it was suppliers backing out at the last minute, unexpected costs, or just the sheer loneliness of going at it alone. There were nights I stayed up, questioning my sanity for leaving a stable job for this unpredictable venture."

This example portrays the raw and often unspoken reality of starting a business. The narrative doesn't shy away from the hardships and emotional toll, offering an authentic look into the entrepreneur's journey. This level of honesty resonates with readers, especially those who have faced or are facing similar challenges, creating a deep sense of connection and empathy.

Example 2: The Highs and Lows of a Major Business Deal

"Landing a major client was a feeling I can't easily describe. It was a mix of exhilaration, relief, and a bit of disbelief. But the journey there was a rollercoaster - weeks of preparation, countless revisions to the proposal, and nerve-wracking meetings. Even after the initial celebration, the pressure didn't let up, as we had to deliver on big promises. It was a constant battle between excitement for the opportunity and the weight of responsibility on my shoulders."

This narrative captures the emotional complexity often involved in significant business milestones. The protagonist's excitement and stress are authentically conveyed, providing a realistic view of what it's like to handle high-stakes situations in business. This authenticity in portraying positive and challenging aspects adds depth to the narrative, making it more relatable and engaging.

Example 3: Reflecting on Business Failure

"The day I had to close my first business, the weight of my failure was crushing. I remember sitting in my empty office, the walls once lined with ambitious plans, now stark and bare. The burden of letting down my team, my investors, and myself was overwhelming. It took me a long time to accept that this disappointment wasn't the end but a tough lesson in the unpredictable business world."

This example dives into the often-taboo subject of business failure. The narrative strikes a chord of authenticity by openly discussing feelings of disappointment and responsibility. It shows a vulnerable side of entrepreneurship, rarely highlighted in success-focused stories. This honest reflection fosters a deep sense of realism and can be incredibly impactful for readers, especially those facing similar setbacks.?

In each of these narratives, authenticity is demonstrated by presenting the real and diverse experiences of business life, from the challenges of starting out and the complexities of major deals to the hard lessons of failure. This approach makes the stories more believable and relatable, allowing readers to connect more deeply with the narrative.

My last thoughts on authentically sharing your story are best summed with a quote from my favorite book on the writing life, Bird by Bird.

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

And remember, you can be authentically joyful, too!

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