The timeless power of empathy

As a self appointed “veteran” recruiter, it still surprises me after all these years of toiling that certain scenarios can stop you in your tracks or make you still learn and reflect as the years roll by.

This happened to me again last week as I suffered the huge disappointment of a role that I had been working on for over a year come to nothing. The candidate decided to go in a different direction and phoned me to tell me the news any recruiter hates to hear…. “Simon…I have some bad news to tell you about me starting with the new company”.

We have all been there and even after 26 years, the feelings still stay the same: Frustration, maybe a bit of anger (no hitting the desk anymore as the coffee always happens to be in the wrong place at that moment!) Then reflection - Could I have done anymore? Should I have called them to check everything? Etc etc!

What surprised me on this occasion was the overwhelming feeling of genuine sadness that a candidate and client that I like equally wouldn’t end up working together. I have always set out to only match clients to candidates who I genuinely think are the right match, but in a way it was refreshing to still get that emotion after all these years.Sometimes a setback can be a motivator and keep you “fresh”.

What was also heartening was the genuine reaction and action of both the client and the candidate. The candidate was genuinely sorry and knew this was going to be a “blow” - not because of cynical financial gain for me, but because he knew how much I believed in him and his strong match to the job. His concern was a weird positive in a negative situation.?

As a recruiter in this situation, you also know the job is only half done in these situations. The candidate has played their hand, but as the “broker” you then need to tell your client the bad news! A tumbleweed moment if ever there was one! The phone rings, the client answers - “Hi Simon, how are you” -”Ok thanks , but I have some bad news………. ”The silence is what kills you here as the client absorbs the news. If it is HR you also know they are already thinking of passing the news onwards themselves. Very few winners in this situation.

So a bad day, but once again a response that on reflection made my day confusing, but better. The client was obviously disappointed and surprised, but sent me a message later that day to thank me for all of the work put into the project and to stress how there was nothing more we could have done to make the deal work and that our partnership would not be affected moving forward. They were worried about me!?

Maybe a recruiter shouldn’t be openly admitting one of their deals has fallen through, but hey I have the luxury of years on the clock so hope I can survive such a shocking admission that the “hit rate” will not quite be 100% this year!?

So what is the point I am making? It is the simple fact that as recruitment processes take ever more complicated paths and technology can sometimes take the human aspect out of the process, never forget that we are all simple folk at heart and I think everyone sets out to do the best they possibly can. I am not leading a “be nice” campaign here, but never underestimate the power of empathy and recognition of how people feel……even recruiters have feelings! (most of the time!!)

Regards

Mr N.Everstoplearning