Is Time on Your Side?

“Time is the element in which we exist. We are either borne along by it or drowned in it.”

Joyce Carol Oates

?Imagine This

You’ve finally managed to secure an appointment with someone you look up to as a leader. You’ve watched her TED Talks and read her articles. Getting an actual appointment was a long shot; you’re excited to be able to meet her in person. In fact, you’ve been working on some ideas for a new project that you can’t wait to get her perspective on.

You show up at her place of business, only to find a line of people outside her office, snaking down the hall. This is disconcerting and doesn’t fit with your image of how such a leader would manage her commitments, but, after all, she is a busy person and so important. You take your place in the line. After an hour, you are first in line.

Finally, she ushers you into her office. She asks you to have a seat and then requests that you wait while she returns a “pressing phone call.”? You tell her you’re happy to wait and she proceeds to make the call.

Once the call has finished up, she asks what you would like to talk with her about. Just as you are taking a breath to start, the phone rings. “Oh,” she says, “I really need to take this. I’m waiting for confirmation of my trip next week.”

Your conversation proceeds in fits and starts, with people popping in, the phone ringing occasionally, and beeps and notifications popping up from her computer. Throughout your meeting, you feel like a distraction, never able to fully relax and focus—nor does she appear to.

As you leave, you reflect on your impression of this person, having finally met her. Your image of her as a leader of substance has been tarnished. Although she is unquestionably in demand, you don’t feel you were personally attended to. Instead, you feel as if your concerns—and, indeed, your life—are one more task for her to manage in an overcommitted life. This interaction negatively impacts your impression of her as well as your sense of yourself.

Does this sound familiar?? Perhaps you can identify with the leader—feeling overcommitted, overwhelmed, and feeling responsible to offer some support to the people who look to you for leadership. Or perhaps you are the follower, that person who seeks advice and support from an admired leader, only to feel diminished by an unsatisfying interaction. Our relationship with time has a considerable impact on the quality of our leadership.

What’s Your Relationship with Time?

Let’s take a little quiz about your relationship with time:

1. How many times a day do you say (or think): “If I wasn’t so busy, I would…”?? Make a list of all the things you would do.
2. Which of those things, if you accomplished them, would strengthen your capacity as a leader? Or help you feel more fulfilled as a person?
3. List all the ways you regularly waste time. These can be important things, like not setting priorities and then running out of time to do what really matters. They can also be small things, like checking social media, whenever you have a moment of free time. What useful purposes do those “time wasters” serve?

Once you complete the quiz, please reflect on thoughts that emerged ?about your relationship with time and your role as a leader.

Here’s an insight I had about my own relationship with time. Throughout my adult life, one of my mantras has been “I’m so busy.”? This is almost completely my own doing yet I still experience a considerable amount of stress as a result. Regardless, efforts to change have been unsuccessful.

One day I was telling a colleague about a professional goal that is important to me. She observed that it seemed like a big, important goal and perhaps a bit of a stretch. When I reflected on that, I responded that it was not as much of a stretch as it seemed because I already had connections with people who could help move toward the goal. This person asked, “Why haven’t you been in touch with them?”? My answer?? You guessed it: “I’m too busy.”?

Too busy to take a step in the direction of an important dream!

That really took me aback. What was I filling my time with while neglecting important dreams??

Eventually, I realized that I needed to let some things go so I could pursue those dreams. I also realized that my busyness was covering up a layer of emotion: FEAR!? Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unfamiliar. I was filling my time with activities that I felt comfortable with, that weren’t a stretch. Letting some of those go was like giving up a safety net.

I became aware that I’d been meandering in the direction of my dreams as if I had all the time in the world. And that not achieving my dreams might have an effect not only on myself but on the lives of others. No time to waste!? This enhanced sense of urgency set in motion changes in the way I spent my time.

The Impact of Time on Your Leadership

Working with time in a skillful way is a crucial discipline of leadership. Not only does your skill in this area impact on your own life, but it also impacts on the lives of those who look to you for leadership, as the opening vignette illustrates. Keep in mind that your behavior sets an example for others, whether it’s your family, members of a group you lead, or the people who report to you. If you are habitually late, others will emulate you. If you default on deadlines, people will learn that deadlines are just suggestions. The tone you set while in a leadership role is one that will eventually influence how people behave in the arenas where you are leading.

?Additionally, when you’re in a leadership role, your priorities—and the clarity with which you communicate them—will have an impact on how other people use their time. If you are not clear, there will be confusion, duplication of effort, frustration, and lack of results. ??In Monday Morning Leadership, David Cottrell sums this up succinctly: “...one of the ‘main things’ for a leader is to eliminate confusion.”

I hope this piece has provoked some reflection on your relationship with time and the impact time has on your life and that of others. In subsequent posts, I plan to address other time-related topics such as:

• Energy management over time management
• Setting and maintaining priorities when everything seems important
• How to gain clarity of purpose and why it matters

Please share some of your time questions and challenges in the Comments section.

Meanwhile, stay tuned!

Adapted from Chapter 11 of Why Not Lead? A Primer for Families of People with Disabilities and Their Allies, published by iUniverse