If Time Were Running Out, Would You Do Things Differently?

Last year, I lost one of my closest friends, Jonathan West. He was a classmate from college and a remarkable man. Recently, another close childhood friend has been diagnosed with aggressive cancer. He has an indeterminate amount of time. Last week, I heard that the best teacher I ever had, Prof Len Schlesinger, has been diagnosed with a terminal illness.?These have got me thinking about my mortality and how I am spending my time.

Thus, I thought a good thinking exercise would be to reflect on the question - “If I knew I had just a couple of years to live, what changes would I make to my life?” In this interview, Leonard Schlesinger talks about three choices that we have in this situation (https://almanac.io/blog/len-schlesinger-harvard)

1. Go into denial and start desperately exploring every possible treatment to change the outcome.
2. Become a victim, collapse and for all practical purposes stop living.
3. Optimise the time you have left for purpose and joy.

Focusing on the third option, I thought about these three questions:

1. What should I stop doing?
2. What should I continue doing or do more of?
3. What should I start doing?

These questions helped me think about how to optimise the precious time that is left. With whom would I want to spend time??On what??Where?

It’s also worth thinking about legacy - what would I regret not doing if I ran out of time, and how do I course correct starting today? Legacy is less about achievement and more about how you made people feel because that’s how they will remember you.

Finally, it is worth recalling Steve Jobs’ reflections on death in his famous commencement speech at Stanford.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” Whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure?— these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumour on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is the doctor’s code for preparing to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now, the new is you, but someday, not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. Most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

This brings us to a critical point: don't let your wishes stay unfulfilled. Act on them so you don't look back with regret, saying, "I wish I had...". Make time for them now so that you can look back with contentment rather than regret.

Remember, every "yes" we commit to inevitably means saying "no" to something else. Therefore, we must be cautious about what we say “yes” to, which must align with what we truly want.