Time to talk, time to listen

Time to talk, time to listen.?

Download your free guide to supportive conversations here.?

Although conversations about mental health have moved on significantly in the last few years, there is still a way to go until we are all comfortable talking about it.?

Time to Talk Day was launched in 2014 by Time to Change, a campaign to end mental health stigma and discrimination, which was run by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness. It is a chance for us to feel more confident in starting or taking part in a conversation about mental health.?

We know that the financial crisis is taking its toll; the Money and Mental Health Policy Insititute has found that more than half of UK adults (54%) report having felt either anxious, depressed, filled with dread or unable to cope due to concern about their finances; 17% saying that they had experienced suicidal thoughts or feelings as a result of the rise in the cost of living this year. We also know that those living with a mental health condition are more likely to be behind on bill payments, and earn less. The cost-of-living crisis is very quickly becoming a mental health crisis.?

A recent study found that those who had experienced financial indebtedness were two and a half times more likely to die by suicide than those who had not lived through this experience. (Rojas 2022)?

Whilst there is still shame and stigma for those experiencing poor mental health, there is too a stigma around owing money. Very often those who get into debt do so out of necessity, by paying vital bills on credit, or due to issues outside of their control like a significant life change; redundancy or relationship breakdown. Even though the debt hasn’t been as a result of frivolous spending, the feeling of shame, of having let someone down and the resulting anxiety remains.?

However, we also know that shame cannot survive compassion; listening works. “Shame derives its power from being unspeakable,” says writer and bestselling author Brené Brown. If we ignore shame, it grows, spreading fear and encouraging negative behaviour and thinking.?

Conversations about mental health matter - at home and at work and at play - and the principles remain the same wherever they take place. In the workplace, creating a culture where employees can be vulnerable and have empathy for one another can lead to a more positive and productive work environment. A team in Halfiax found that “High-quality listening brings a cornucopia of positive outcomes for speakers, listeners, teams, and organisations”. ?

Miles Kean, Executive Director at Coutts when taking part in Ripple&Co’s TalkWorks , said he believed employers have a "huge responsibility” and that "you can ever overdo it - there's no downside to try to have a go at creating good wellbeing in a workplace"?

You will probably be able to recall when you have been well listened to; you might not have realised that there were silences or that the other person wasn’t offering advice, but it gave you space and kindness.?

If you’re still wondering what high quality listening looks like, here are some tips;?

• Allow silence – we can find silence very discomfiting but there is value and breathing space in it?
• Be still, be patient – it may take time for the person to open up?
• Encourage – let the other person know you are here and want to hear them?
• A tender question – questions can be helpful to show you care but be gentle?
• Notice their body language - Sometimes you are listening to hear what isn’t said, as much as what is?
• Withhold your own assumptions – this is about them not you?

We cannot take the person’s pain away, but we can be a companion for them in their distress and hope that others will do the same for us. Down your free guide to supportive conversations here.?

For more ideas about activities that can support conversation about mental health, go to the Time to Talk website. ?

Further watching?

Money and Mental Health: The Psychological Links (Dr. Thomas Richardson)?

Dr Tom Richardson looked in detail at the strength of the relationship between debt and mental health and discusses his findings.?

Further listening?

How to talk to talk tenderly and listen well – Michael Rosen and Kathryn Mannix?

Signposting?

Dealing with services when you have a mental health problem - Mind?