Time To Talk Day 2022: A personal account of suffering from anxiety

Julie Hedge is a Legal PA within our litigation and dispute resolution team and is also one of our Mental Health and Wellbeing Champions.

Our team of Champions work firmwide to promote positive mental health, offer a listening ear and signpost support available.

Here, Julie shares her personal account of living with anxiety, for Time To Talk Day 2022.

Anxiety is a physical and emotional symptom, which I suffer from.

On Time to Talk Day I thought I would write an article in the hope it gives anyone suffering from anxiety the confidence to reach out and seek help.

For me, this is what anxiety looks like…

Is it any wonder that I am constantly exhausted! My brain has to deal with an awful lot, on top of all the other things that it needs to compute to allow me to function as a mum, wife, sister, daughter, auntie, friend, PA, colleague.?

As an anxiety sufferer, I am that person who:

• Becomes really overwhelmed. For instance, I will inevitably agree to go out when I am feeling good but as the date approaches, I become panicked at the very thought of it. I don’t suffer with social anxiety, I enjoy socialising and meeting people but I have low self-esteem so negative thoughts about myself consume me and ultimately stop me from doing what I enjoy.
• Doubts their own ability and needs reassurance that I am doing a good job. You would think winning a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ would stop that self-doubt but in some respects, it has heightened my anxiety as I feel more [self-imposed] pressure!

Read more: Five questions with - Julie Hedge

• Overthinks and worries about things that I cannot control. The quote, ‘worrying doesn’t change anything, it just messes with your mind and steals your happiness’, is so true.
• Suffers with panic attacks. My panic attacks can come on suddenly, for instance I may be in a busy supermarket or on a crowded train and feel stifled/trapped and I start to feel my heart beating against its cavity wall; I start to sweat and my breathing suddenly becomes a conscious act! Or it can happen after a build-up of events over a period of time that eventually take their toll, overwhelm me, leave me running on empty and cause the onset of a panic attack.

I take medication for both anxiety and depression which makes my condition manageable but, for me, medication alone does not work.

I have had a lot of counselling over the years and this has given me the confidence to talk and confide in others and learn strategies to manage my anxiety.

In the past I have jeopardised my own happiness and suffered with anxiety by trying to be a people-pleaser, trying to live up to peoples’ expectations or doing things that I haven’t wanted to do but have done so to make others happy so I don’t let them down or feel like a failure. However, this has meant that my own mental health has suffered.?

"Nowadays I do everything I can to protect my mental health - ‘I can’t be all things to all men’"

Some of the things I do to protect my mental health:

• Being open and honest about my anxiety has given me the ability to speak up about how I feel.?It has also given me the ability to recognise anxiety in others and to be empathetic. If I am particularly worried about something then I will confide in someone, usually my husband, to tell him what is worrying me and seek his views, input or advice on how to deal with it.
• If there is a night out being organised that I just don’t feel comfortable going to then rather than accepting the invite and spending the next few weeks dreading it and ultimately cancelling last-minute with a feeble excuse (which isn’t fair on anyone), I politely decline the invite. I know my anxiety triggers and if it’s a fancy-dress event, forget it – the very thought just sends me into freefall! Admittedly, there are events that I can’t always decline. In situations like this I manage my anxiety by finding out as much as I can about the venue, dress code, location, and who else is going from my work or within my friendship circle so I can perhaps travel with them, meet them there, etc.

Read more: Firm highly commended in the Mental Health & Wellbeing category at UK Diversity Legal Awards

• One of my worst enemies is my own self-doubt!?However, reassurance and recognition makes all the difference. Since joining Shoosmiths, I am fortunate that I work in a team where we encourage, support, listen and give recognition. I cannot stress how important that is for mental health and wellbeing.???
• Another one of my enemies is panic attacks. Their frequency is less because of the coping strategies I have learned but when I do experience one it can be a frightening experience.?Where possible, on the onset of an attack I will try and take myself out of the situation, find somewhere quiet and sit and do a simple meditation exercise. I will close my eyes and concentrate on a sound – it may be the sound of an air con unit in the office or a ticking clock.?If my mind starts drifting back to an anxious state then I just re-focus again on that sound until I feel calmer and my breathing is more controlled. This may all sound a bit weird but this form of meditation does work and I thank Ruby Wax and her Frazzled show for imparting this little life skill. It is almost like you are giving your brain a five-minute time out to stop and re-boot.

Suffering from anxiety isn’t pleasant but I really hope that by sharing my experience it gives you the encouragement to realise that you are not alone and that by seeking advice from your GP or having someone you trust to confide in can help.

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Time to Talk Day 2022 is run by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness in England, in partnership with Co-op. The campaign runs UK-wide, with SAMH (Scottish Association for Mental Health) and See Me in Scotland, Inspire and Change Your Mind in Northern Ireland and Time to Change Wales.

The day is all about creating supportive communities by having conversations with family, friends, or colleagues about mental health. We all have mental health, by talking about it we can support ourselves and others.

Time To Talk Day: Click here to find out more