Time to say goodbye to negative thought processes! My 10 step technique...

Sick and tired of your negative thought processes? Struggling to say anything nice about yourself? Generally feeling more negative than positive towards yourself? 

We’ve all been there, don’t worry. 

I would like to share a wonderful 10 step technique with you that will give you clarity around those negative thoughts and help you be kinder to yourself.

Think about this - If you were to write down your negative thoughts, exposing them to the world, and happened to show a loved one - they would be mortified. Because, if we are really honest, some of the things we say to ourselves, we wouldn’t even say to someone we really disliked. 

So why do we speak to ourselves with such contempt?

I wanted to share a process with you that I recommend to my clients who have persistent negative thoughts about certain areas of their lives. To give you an idea, here are some of the most common negative thoughts that I come across with my clients: 

• I don’t want my team to think I’m incapable
• When I exercise I look like an idiot
• I have no idea how to relax
• I’m ugly
• I’m not worthy of the money I earn
• There are people who are so much better than me
• What if someone finds out I’m actually not as good as they think I am

Any of those sound familiar?

Well, the great news is - you created those thoughts, which means you can ‘UN’create them. 

Okay, so here goes. Are you ready to work on those negative thought patterns? 

Follow the steps below… 

1. Work out what the overarching thought actually is - I call this the UMBRELLA THOUGHT.

For example…if you are always thinking, “There’s no way I’ll get this done to this standard”, “I can’t do this as well as x”, “What if I don’t do a good enough job”….

The umbrella thought above is: I’m not good enough at my job. 

2. Once you’ve established what you UMBRELLA THOUGHT is, keep a piece of paper next to you while working or during your day. Every time you think something along these lines, Catch it. Expose it. Write it down. 

Example: Why did I say that stupid thing about X when it clearly wasn’t necessary on my call? She’s going to think I’m such an idiot.

3. Give that thought a strength from 0-10. 0 being “I barely think this” to 10 being “this is absolutely most definitely true.” 

Example: Why did I say that stupid thing about X when it clearly wasn’t necessary on my call? She’s going to think I’m such an idiot. (Thought Strength = 8)

4. Once you have captured a day’s worth of thoughts and written down how strongly you felt them, leave the piece of paper overnight and come back to it the next morning. 

5. The next day, take a look at the thoughts you wrote down yesterday, and next to them write the complete opposite. This is called the FLIPPED THOUGHT.

Example: I said that thing because I needed to. He doesn’t think I’m a dick. 

6. Then next to the FLIPPED THOUGHT write down how strongly you are feeling the original thought now that you’ve seen the opposing version. Remember - you don’t have to actually believe the flipped thought. Just the process itself will weaken how strongly you are feeling your negative thought.

Example: I said that thing because I needed to. He doesn’t think I’m a dick. 

New score for the original thought (6)

7. The more you do this, the more proficient you will become in noticing your negative thought, allowing it to happen without writing it down, and issuing a flipped thought, just to test it out. 

8. The more effort you put into this, the more you will benefit. Eventually the negative thought (which will still happen every now and then) will instantaneously be replaced by a flipped version. 

9. Again - you don’t have to actually fully believe the flipped version. The process itself will help you to get clarity on what you are actually saying to yourself. 

10. Focus on one umbrella thought for a couple of weeks. Once you feel you have some perspective - feel free to move onto another thought that you have identified. 

Remember - YOU own your mind and YOU CAN take control.

If you want to know more about how to work on your thoughts - you can book a free call with me to discuss. Follow the link below for more details:

www.luciennecoaching.setmore.com

Love, Lucienne

P.S - let me know how you get on with the technique above! 

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If you found this article sparked the fire inside of you, or if you resonate with what I've written; please do feel free to comment below or share this with people you feel need to see it too! I truly value your feedback and am deeply passionate about what I share with my community. I'd love to have you be part of my passion to empower women around the world to live a life they love.

A free guide - '10 things stopping female professional living a life they love' can be downloaded here.

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About the author Lucienne Shakir

Lucienne is a highly sought after visionary coach in the field of female empowerment.

Her passion to bridge the gender divide in all walks of life has seen her clients around the world turn to their executive roles with rigour and passion that is truly in alignment with their values and beliefs.

In the last 12 months, Lucienne has coached and mentored women with the sole purpose of ensuring they live a life they love. Her drive to make the 'professional, personal'; challenges the corporate world in a way that sees greater profitability for the businesses in which her clients work, alongside a tangible increase in productivity and enhanced effective communication between the C-suite, the board and employees.

Having recovered from a nervous breakdown in 2011 following the birth of her son - Lucienne has made it her duty to support other women who feel they have lost their identity through their professional careers and seeks to re-establish a sense of self in her clients that doesn't depend on labels such as mother, wife, leader, successful or otherwise.

Her work supports the need to close the gender gap in the corporate world as well as encouraging women to smash through the glass ceiling by exposing their limiting beliefs.

For more information on her services see www.luciennecoaching.com or download this invaluable free guide, '10 things stopping female professionals living a life they love.'

e: [email protected] | t: 01604 732144 | www.luciennecoaching.com