Time is Precious

As I reflect on my personal journey, there is one thing I cherish the most – time spent with loved ones. These memories with those near and dear to me have helped to sustain me through multiple losses – with one most recently the passing of a dear friend at the beginning of this year. We met while employed at the City Colleges of Chicago. She was a direct, funny, and stern woman who became like a mother figure to me. While we had grown up in very distinct households, different cultures and customs, we learned to genuinely care for each other. I learned about the African American culture through her lens, and she learned about me through the experiences as an immigrant who was eager to learn and connect.

She introduced me to some of the best soul food. She showed me love and generosity through her amazing cooking which led us to form a long-lasting friendship. She always took time to listen and provide me with mature insight and valuable life lessons. For example, she encouraged me to enjoy life and to remember to take time to relax with my son. Although at the time I did not understand why she would tell me this, I now understand that enjoying milestones with my teenage son is important. She heeded her own advice and took time to accompanied me to several places and everywhere we went she was “Mother Obasa” – we would sometimes get weird looks because we did not look alike, but to me, she was my Mother Obasa.

After I moved away from Chicago to Texas and Washington, we continued to stay in touch as I progressed in my career. I loved hearing her voice and catching up with her through our phone calls and whenever I visited Chicago. Fast forward to November 2022, a dear mentor of mine sent me a text message alerting me about Mother Obasa’s health condition. I did not hesitate and flew in the next month to see her.

Even though it took her a moment to process the fact that my son and I were standing in front of her, she was still the queen I remembered. She was feisty as ever. The medical staff came to check on her several times while we were visiting with her and she asked them to come back because she wanted to get caught up with us. She asked my son and me to take a selfie with her cell phone but since she did not like the lighting in the first picture, she asked us to go down the hall, take our masks off, and retake the photo.

We conversed and reminisced about the many times we walked on Jackson Ave in Chicago – she would often hold me so the wind would not blow me away. We talked about the freezing cold winters and the beautiful summers. She even paid a surprise visit when I was living in Texas. My son and I had a great time talking with her and told her we would come to see her in January – but unfortunately, we did not get to see her again. For now, I will always cherish the time we spent together, the moments when she gave me a look and I knew she meant business, the laughs, the delicious food, the motherly support, and the advice to always stay true to my purpose in life. Rest in Peace, Mother Obasa.

Although death is only one form of loss that one can experience, many are experiencing layoffs, unemployment, divorce, and mental health episodes. Have you spent time with your loved ones and made memories to cherish? Have you reached out to those in your network who may have been experiencing a difficult time? How do you ensure that you maximize and value your time?