Time For A Paradigm Shift

There is something special about Sunday mornings.

Things are more relaxed, time slows down, and it’s a moment in the week to re-energise.

The daily routines of work are put aside.

And so it was one Sunday morning on New York subway.

People were reading their newspapers, couples were in quiet conversation. Here and there people looked out of the windows.

Peace.

A little bit of heaven just for one morning a week in one of the busiest, loudest cities in the world.

Among the passengers in that carriage was Stephen Covey, author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”. He too was enjoying the Sunday serenity.

Suddenly a family jumping into the carriage shatters the peace.

A man with a group of children plonks himself down in the corner and looks vacantly out of the window.

The children meanwhile fail to take a seat. They start to run around the carriage.

Worse they even bump into passengers who were, until seconds ago, chilling out.

The noise from the children gets even higher and shriller as the train pulls away.

Passengers tutted, they gave the man steely glares; the dad seemed totally oblivious to what is going on.

Eventually Covey had enough and confronted the man.

 “Excuse me Sir, your children are ruining everybody’s enjoyment of the relaxing Sunday morning, I would be grateful if you could control them a little more”.

The man seemed to come out of a trance, “I’m sorry. I guess I should control them a bit better” he said, before continuing “You see we’ve just come from the hospital where there mum has just died and I guess they don’t really know how to take it…in fact I guess I don’t know how to take it either”

You could hear a pin drop in that carriage.

That wasn’t quite what everyone was expecting.

And how do you feel that those angry passengers reacted?

The atmosphere changed as if a switch had been thrown.

Suddenly all those angry passengers had a mood change.

Sympathy, Empathy, Guilt.

Some passengers made there way to the man – hugs, advice, shared experiences.

Other passengers had a sudden conversion. Seconds ago they were glaring at the wild children, now they were talking to the poor angels. Heck some of them even joined in the running around game!

Why the sudden change?

Simple; because Covey and his fellow passengers suddenly saw the world from the father and his children’s viewpoint.

They had experienced what Thomas Kuhn in the 1960’s described as a Paradigm Shift; that is a profound change in perception of events.

How often do we take time to stand in other people’s shoes and see the world as they see it? It’s only when we are able to do that that we can truly engage with others and provide effective leadership.