TIME IS OUR GREATEST ALLY

Today we live in a world where young people no longer enjoy the beauty of being young and exploring the immense possibilities available to them. Today, we see 18-, 20-, 25- and 30-year-olds think they need to have life all figured out already. The result? Depression, lack of self-worth, and turning to vices to make sense of it all. The worst part? As young people, we often feel that we have some sort of timeline especially when we can now see our ‘mates’ even from across the globe living the life or enjoying the perks of life that elude us. I know this for a fact because I have experienced it and trust me, I understand how it feels.

I graduated from Nnamdi Azikiwe University Awka in Anambra State Nigeria in August 2014. I have outlined all my goals and steps I need to take from school to the outside world to ensure that my goal of being a multi-millionaire, living in my own well-built paradise, married, and traveling the world by 26. I graduated at 21 and already made by first one million Naira as a student by setting up a business in school in partnership with my best friends Chike, Ben, and Izu (we call ourselves The Horsemen). With all these accolades under my belt, you best believe I was certain of my next five years and all I am to expect. To cut the long story short, life happened and humbled me in ways I am grateful for today. After my compulsory one-year service in 2016, I came back to my father’s house in Awka, Anambra state and I will spend the next three years figuring out the life I thought I have already figured out. The worst part, I was broke and unemployed, well I started my Graphic Design journey back in 2016 when I fell in love with creating visuals and communicating with them, however, if you ask my Dad, I am sure he will tell you I was unemployed. I wasn’t making money or contributing much as I would love to, sometimes I went months penniless and only kept going by the love of my parents and my passion for design. Sometimes I could feel the utter disappointment from my younger siblings seeing me at home with ‘no prospects’, heck I felt the disrespect from their tone sometimes, you know how siblings can help make life more difficult for you. I remember being in a heated argument with my younger brother and he said, and I quote, “Isn’t your mates working and in their own houses…”. Honestly, he was right, some of my mates were already doing well from what I saw through social media and my interactions with them. Ben got a job immediately after NYSC with a bank, and Chike got a job with a government agency before finally moving to a Bank, I remember Izu started a car management business a year later. What I had was a used HP laptop which I purchased for 50,000 Naira, money generously given to me by my dad with the persuasive aid of my mum.

I had hit rock bottom I thought, my parents and siblings obviously disappointed in me I thought, I am a complete failure I thought, I don’t know what to do with my life I thought, my friends are all figuring life out and contributing to the world and I am just stuck here I thought. Honestly, they were a few moments I surrendered to the despair momentarily, frantically applied for jobs even ones I hated, didn’t feel like talking to anyone or doing anything, just locked in my room and in my mental space. Truth be told, it wasn’t the best part of my life and I thought I should have it all figured out by now.

In retrospect, everything I thought and some irrational decisions I made was because of, ‘what people will say, how my friends/mates were doing in comparison to me, not wanting to look like a failure’. I felt the timeline ‘given’ to me was fast expiring and the only thing I was sure of was being a designer. Grateful to God, I started opening myself up to people, made friends, and became part of a community. Some important decisions I made back then were first giving my life to Christ and becoming part of a family that allowed me to meet amazing people, meeting a friend called Efe that helped me get a better perspective of life and listening to Tola Alabi share his experiences through his Pro Up Masterclass. I started getting new information and getting a better revelation of life as purposed by God. One thing instantly became clear, it is okay that I don’t have it all figured out yet, it was never mine to figure out in the first place. If I continued living in that space where I allowed societal pressures to dictate life for me, I will become an unhappy person and hate everything about my process. Hating my process and my journey will blind me from documenting and keeping notes of crucial moments that will give me a story to share in the future. At one of those conversations, my Pastor showed me a verse in the Bible for the first time and I had a better understanding of living in the moment and documenting my process. That scripture is Zechariah 4:10 (NLT), “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the?Lord?rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.”

Eight years down the line, twenty-nine years of age, living in Abuja, my branding agency established and growing, building other businesses, employing people, and mentoring business owners, I can still tell you I still don’t have it all figured out yet. In fact, I believe that the only time we can figure everything out is when we are in front of God, and He shows us what our life was intended to be. Clarity won’t come on this side of eternity, it comes when God finally brings His kingdom on Earth, our job is to stay guided by His Word while we are here and live in the NOW just like God lives in the NOW. These days I see so many young people go through this same depressing phase all because we keep abiding by an imaginary timeline and consistently comparing ourselves with others. Social media has not made this phase easy at all for us, we see the ‘branded lives’ of people on social media and instantly go into depression because we feel left out. We have become so impatient and unwilling to let things grow, we act like a farmer who plants a tree and keeps going back every day to check if it has grown and after two weeks, we become unhappy and sabotage our project because we think our tree is unfruitful. We look at things that took people years of hard work and dedication and want to get it NOW. We are still not enjoying the process in 2022 and I fear it will only get worse except we start educating ourselves that TIME IS OUR GREATEST ALLY!

Now more than ever, we need support systems that help us better understand the so many opportunities and possibilities time has for us, and how patience is one of our greatest virtues. Like Tom Hanks said in his round table conversation with Jamie Foxx, Adam Sandler, Shia LaBeouf, and Robert De Niro, “This too shall pass”. I also love how Gary Vaynerchuk puts it, “It’s okay to not have everything figured out at 30” (please pardon the strong language). For the sake of our children and the coming generations, if Christ tarries, we need to get this message out there to as many young people as possible otherwise crime and illicit money-making schemes will forever be a lucrative option. Time isn’t stacked against our progress; time is our ALLY.

Finally, we need to curtail our social media consumption. Like one of my favorite Nigerian musicians said, “everybody rich for Instagram” (everybody is rich on Instagram). The social media space is a carefully curated space, it sees the highest rate of filtering on Earth. People mostly don't post their struggles only their wins or ‘perceived wins’. My younger brother will fondly tell you he only follows comedians and some reasonable friends for his peace of mind. Like my mentor Tola Alabi said in our recent sit-down, “social media shouldn’t be your first and last consumption in a day” (I am paraphrasing here). It messes with your mind and leaves you feeling unfulfilled. Truth be told, there will always be someone that has more than you and even when you get to that level it will not satisfy you. Listen to Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo aptly put it here. Time is our greatest ally and patience our greatest virtue, if we know this today, we will eliminate, hating our process, living in a false timeline, comparing ourselves with others, having a quarter-life crisis (some term I recently learned, the crisis associated with not figuring it out at 25), and we can know peace and enjoy our process. Like my friend Zubby rightly said, our stories lie in our processes and not our end results. When next you listen to Elon Musk or Okonjo Iweala talk about their successes pay attention to where they spend the most time on. Even God Almighty recorded His process of establishing His kingdom on Earth and not His result (read the entire Bible and see yourself).

Your story is in your process and time is your ally, only take good advantage of these truths. Keep working on yourself like the seed that grows downward first before turning into a huge tree. I will leave you with one of my favorite scriptures, “Do you see someone skilled?in their work? They will serve?before kings; they will not serve before officials of low rank”. Proverbs 22:29 (NIV).

SELAH!