Time To Make a Difference

It's not your imagination - our world has changed radically in a very short time. COVID-19 poses one of the greatest health risks we may face in our lifetime. The measures to prevent its further spread are necessary, but the consequences of those measures have brought on their own share of devastation.

As always, some perspective is helpful.

Last week Dr. Deborah Birx, coordinator for the federal response to the virus, called on the “army of millennials” to lead the charge. She said that millennials are vital to stopping the spread of the virus, in part because they grew up with social media and understand how to work and communicate without meeting in person.

She was apparently unaware of the dangerous and disproportionately high degree of social isolation and depression among millennials. 

According to the CDC in 2017 ...

• 47,173 Americans died by suicide
• Suicide was the 2nd leading case of death for ages 15-34
• Men died by suicide 3.5x more often than women

Since that data was compiled the rates have continued to trend upward and are expected to spike in the coming weeks.

Meanwhile, millennials are still believed to be among the demographics most resistant to death by COVID-19.

What this means is that social distancing could very possibly cause more deaths among millennials than it will save, particularly for male millennials.

For those folks wondering why the young people on Spring Break were ignoring social distancing ... some of us may remember making some reckless choices at that age, but this could also be more than just reckless frivolity - they could be acting on a real need for connection. And the problems associated with social isolation are amplified for, but certainly not confined to millennials. We're implicitly trying to solve one epidemic (COVID-19) with another (social isolation and loneliness). 

I am absolutely not suggesting that we should disregard the guidance for social distancing, but there are unintended consequences that need to be addressed.

A couple months ago, I started researching and writing about happiness and wellbeing. I read a lot and ask questions, but I am not a credentialed social scientist. I don't have scientifically brilliant solutions. On the other hand, my mother always said I was blessed with an abundance of common sense. I'm trying to put that to use today, to help us survive the chaos of COVID-19 with our sanity and happiness intact.

So, instead of "social distancing," let's focus on "physical distancing" and "socially connecting." We already know about the physical distancing part - so what can we do to stay socially connected?

There's some conventional wisdom that if you're not feeling good and happy, go do something good for someone else. Now is a great time to do that, it will make you feel better, and help you build or maintain social connections. I'll offer a couple examples.

Like so many eating establishments, our local Irish pub has shut down and laid off all of its staff. The owner is concerned she might have to go out of business, and despondent about laying off her staff - most of whom were long-time employees and felt more like family than staff. She also needs to get rid of all of her food as quickly as possible. So she's begun serving free meals each afternoon, which she's preparing by herself. If you are able and so inclined, you can make a donation, which she's giving to charity. This is helping everyone - the newly unemployed, the homeless, the charity, and it's helping the owner feel better about herself despite the situation. Win-win-win.

Second example: I live in a building with 88 units and now we're all trying to avoid each other - there's a sign outside the elevators saying only one person at a time in the elevator. Some of the residents live alone. People are already dealing with loneliness. Some of the residents used to enjoy social interaction at the gym, but now all the gyms are closed. But I've noticed small groups working out at nearby Lake Merritt (while adhering to social distancing guidelines). A long time ago I was a Master Fitness Trainer in the US Army, so I offered to lead small workout groups at the Lake (while again adhering to social distancing guidelines). The response has been swift and enthusiastic, and I'm excited to be able to make a small difference in people's lives.

Everyone has something to offer. Maybe you know two people who, if only you introduced them, they could do greater good than they currently do by themselves. Your gift of an introduction would make a difference. That's just one possibility. Think creatively. 

Paraphrasing the famous quote of John F Kennedy, "Ask not what your community can do for you, ask what you can do for your community." Right now is a fantastic time to do something good for somebody else, no matter how small. If we each take action, maybe in doing so, this horrible situation can actually drive us to reverse some of the recent societal discord and division, and bring us back together as a community.

What ideas do you have about connecting people during COVID-19?

Please share this message with others!

UPDATE: The appetite for (and wisdom of) a face to face fitness group - even a small group with appropriate social distancing - has diminished greatly in the last week. But the need to engage others (virtually) is as great as ever. I'm now talking to others, to gather ideas about how we can coordinate our efforts, to make a greater difference - all while engaging, and taking care of our own hearts and minds. Stay tuned.