Time, Life Design and Greenlights during the Holidays

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In our most recent coaching session for the Duquesne Professional Coaching Certification Program, we discussed polarities (the push/pull that we feel) and emotions. This made me think of a book I read during the pandemic, “Greenlights” by Matthew McConaughey. So, I picked up the book and started flipping through it again. Looking at the words he wrote through a different lens made me think about time and how we ultimately have control but sometimes- possibly more times than not- feel like we have no control. In the vast universe, time is a fleeting entity, a delicate thread that weaves the fabric of who we are. From the earliest moments of our lives, we journey through time, evolving from a state of timelessness to realizing its scarcity. As a parent who welcomed a daughter into the world in 2017, the fragility of time became profoundly apparent, and it grows as time passes. The days, filled with the nuances of parenthood, unfolded at a seeming snail's pace, yet the years fly with alarming speed. On a recent trip to the Carnegie Science Center, we sat in the Buhl Planetarium, watching a film about the expansiveness of the cosmos. At the same time, at home, we were watching “Life on Our Planet” on Netflix about the evolution of our planet. That intersection with the reflection of this weekend brought on some questions: where should we focus our attention? How should we expend our energy? What impact should we strive to make? In the pursuit of answers, life design emerges as a guiding philosophy, and the holiday season becomes a lens through which we reflect on the delicate dance with time.

As working parents, the delicate dance with time often feels like a high-stakes balancing act. The demands of careers and the desire to be present for our families create a tension that underscores the preciousness of time. In this intricate dance, life design emerges as a transformative approach—conscious crafting of our lives to align with our values, aspirations, and familial commitments.

With its tapestry of celebrations—Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and New Year, to name a few—the holiday season provides a poignant backdrop for reflecting on time's fragility. The twinkling lights, the warmth of shared meals, and the exchange of gifts serve as progressive markers, prompting us to pause and consider the passage of time. As a parent engaged in a professional coaching program, exploring emotions, inner critics, and the interplay of vulnerability and strength becomes integral to the life design process. The vulnerability of time, especially during the holidays, invites us to confront our inner critics—those voices that may question our choices, priorities, or the quality of our engagement. Life design encourages us to approach these inner critics with compassion, acknowledging that our imperfections are part of the human experience. While not all identify with those points, a push-pull sometimes emerges in ways we don’t see coming.

The holiday season often magnifies the emotional landscape for many people, and working parents are no exception. There may be a tug-of-war between the desire to create magical moments for our families and the demands of professional responsibilities. Coming out of the pandemic, the working world has shifted, but there are still professional norms and expectations that sometimes have us at odds with ourselves. Life design prompts us to navigate these emotions intentionally, to carve out moments of joy amidst the chaos, and to recognize that our vulnerability is a source of strength rather than a weakness.

So, how do all of these thoughts weave together- in Matthew McConaughey's "Greenlights," he offers a narrative mosaic that mirrors the unpredictable nature of life. Much like the twinkling lights our daughter points out as we drive from place to place during the holiday season, McConaughey's greenlights symbolize moments of alignment and affirmation that guide us through the twists and turns of our journey. As a professional coaching program participant, exploring emotions, inner critics, and the intersection of vulnerability and strength, the principles embedded in McConaughey's journey serve as beacons of inspiration. The concept of greenlights encourages us to recognize and embrace moments of affirmation and alignment. Applying this to the holiday season, we can view traditions, gatherings, and shared moments as greenlights guiding us toward meaningful connections and experiences. Instead of succumbing to the frantic pace of holiday preparations, life design prompts us to choose activities that align with our values and contribute to a sense of fulfillment.

McConaughey's life journey, shared in "Greenlights," is filled with moments of vulnerability and self-discovery. The intersection of vulnerability and strength becomes a powerful theme, resonating with the challenges faced by working parents. In the context of the holiday season, vulnerability may manifest as the acknowledgment that not every moment will be perfect and that the quest for perfection often obscures the authenticity of the experience. As working parents, the question of impact looms large—how can we leave a lasting imprint on the lives of our children, our communities, and the world? Life design invites us to consider the impact not solely in grand gestures but in the accumulation of intentional choices, especially during the reflective time of the holidays. Rather than viewing vulnerability as a liability, we can recognize it as a bridge to meaningful connections and a deeper understanding of ourselves. The holiday season becomes an opportune time to practice this mindset, allowing ourselves to be present with our families and colleagues without the weight of unrealistic expectations.

With its barrage of festivities, the holiday season underscores the importance of intentional living. Each celebration provides an opportunity to design moments that contribute to the richness of our lives. Whether participating in family traditions, expressing gratitude, or simply savoring quiet moments with your family and/or friends, life design encourages us to infuse meaning into our experiences. The fragile nature of time, especially during the holiday season, invites us all, but especially you working parents, to embrace life design as a transformative philosophy.