Time To Fly

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.? – Henry Ford

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Growing up, my mother was a huge fan of animal shows.? Before there were channels exclusively dedicated to the study of wildlife, there were relatively few shows to choose from.? The one that stuck in my mind was called “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.”? One must ask why would an insurance company have anything to do with wildlife?? Well, not much, but they were ahead of the curve in terms of companies sponsoring shows or events, which, of course, is now commonplace.? At any rate, the show focused on animals and how they lived in their natural habitat.? The one that my mom often referenced was the story of eagles.? In that story, the mother eagle would often be seen kicking her young out of the nest to teach them to fly.? Before people get the wrong impression, my mother was very caring and nurturing.? That being said, she wanted it to be clear to her children that they were to “learn how to fly,” and she would make as many attempts as possible to ensure we learned how to, no matter how many times we might fail.? Thus, I learned very early on that I had better figure out how to fly.

I bring this up as a leader because we all are eventually kicked out of the nest, trying our best to fly.? Eventually, we will fail to fly.? Some will fail in minor ways, and others will do so miserably and potentially publicly.? However, if is never the failure that is the focal point of our leadership.? For a leader to become great, I would argue that you must fail at some point because it is in that moment of failure that you learn the most about how to fly.? And it is about learning that growth occurs, and from growth, eventually, comes success.? So why are so many unwilling to fail?? For most, it is the humiliation or personal disappointment of coming up short.? However, just as success is to be celebrated, failing, while never to be celebrated like success, should internally be a moment of enlightenment and positivity.? So how is one to embrace failure?? Well, here are four key failures that I personally encountered and what I learned about correcting them.? My hope is that you have already had some experience, and hopefully, you will take the lessons learned to grow from them.

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Growth Through Faulty Expectations

There are many expectations that we have as individuals from the people we lead and even ourselves.? But when we do not set proper expectation, these often lead to failures.? One type of failure is easy to identify, but another is more difficult to recognize yet equally costly.? Let’s examine them

Expecting too much can lead to burning people out and setting up the team for failure.? When failing due to expectations that are too lofty, the learning curve must be one of finding what is reasonable.? It often requires focusing on what the most and least productive team members accomplish and gauging it with the group to determine what is reasonable.? Your gifted team members are going to produce better results than those who may work equally as hard or harder without as much talent.? However, that does not mean everyone should achieve what gifted team members do.? Steve Ballmer and Bill Gates founded Microsoft together, but if we measured Steve’s success on being able to write software as well as Steve, Microsoft would never have reached where it is today.? Setting expectations is as much about understanding one’s ability as well as setting goals for them to achieve success.

Just as expecting too much is problematic, expecting too little is equally challenging.? Choosing not to push others stunts growth.? If you do not as my mom says kick the baby out of the nest, it never learns how to fly.? Everyone wants to grow, and to get the maximum potential out of others, we must set high but reasonable expectations.? A mentor taught me to set the bar high, give them the tools and coaching to help them get there, encourage them throughout, and pick them up when they fall.? Note that it all starts with setting the bar high.

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Through Disorganization

Have you ever missed a meeting or a deadline?? Was it due to time constraints or forgetfulness?? Chances are that the failure is related to some level of disorganization.? This could be caused simply by not having a system to organize your calendar and keep you informed of upcoming events.? Alternatively, it could be that you failed to prioritize tasks that needed to be completed to avoid a time crunch.

Acknowledging this failure is important.? When these things happen over minor things, it is usually a warning sign.? It means you will need to tighten up your organization to ensure nothing falls through the cracks.? This is crucial in leadership because when this happens continually, the team lose trust in your ability to deliver what is needed.

Be very attentive to feedback that might suggest you are letting the ball drop, even on minor tasks.? Create a to-do list prioritizing the most important tasks (i.e. the things that must be done) and make sure to organize your calendar to focus on what matters most.? When someone asks to add a task that will overwhelm you, reach out to your leader or inform others of a task/project that may need to be placed on hold.? Then, follow through on those promises you make.

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Through Poor Communication

Reflect on the last time that you told someone what you expected them to do only to find that something else was done.? Before jumping to the conclusion that they simply failed to complete the task, consider whether there was a potential communication issue.? Was there a chance the task or assignment was not clearly outlined?? For example, did the task or assignment have an expected outcome?? Were parameters and timeline clearly outlined?? Were there if/then scenarios provided to address additional needs for the task’s success?? Were there opportunities to discuss unexpected pitfalls with you or someone else close to the project to answer questions?? This is not to say someone could not use logic to figure some of these things out (learning to fly stuff), but if it is of great importance, how much are you willing to risk on a growth experience?? Determine the level of communication and gauge how much you want them to “learn to fly.”

Communication failures are not limited to clarity.? Frequency is also a major issue as a group’s focus and purpose can be lost.? One leader said, “Vision leaks,” meaning you have to remind the team of the long-term goal to keep them on task.? My team once struggled to improve in a certain metric.? I informed them at the beginning of the year that the metric was a priority and set clear objectives as to how they were to meet them.? However, I failed to emphasize its importance during each one-on-one meeting.? As a result, they seemed like a deer in the headlight when I informed them during the mid-year discussion their performance review would be impacted.? The lack of frequent communication led to my team feeling mislead, and the responsibility fell on me.? Consequently, I discussed the metric each meeting going forward and coached them accordingly.? By the end of the year, all except the poor performers were easily meeting the metric.? By changing the frequency and urgency of communication, the proper results were achieved, and a lesson on frequent communication was learned.

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Through Lacking Empathy

I arrived at work early after dropping my wife off at her job.? As I started to prepare for the day, my phone rings.? It is from a co-worker on our development team, who happened to be the boyfriend of one of the leaders on my team.? He called to inform me she had passed away that morning.? At that moment, I felt lifeless.? What should I do?? What should I tell the team about their colleague, whom many not only within my team but also others looked up to?? All I could do was meet them where I was at that moment.? We all met in a conference room where I shared the news.? I informed them that I did not know what to tell them to do, but I would be there for them to talk to.? If they needed time to just walk around the building or take time out, they could.? I do not know how it fully impacted my team, but from that day forward, we became the tightest high-performing team in the business unit.? While the incident is forever a sad day, how we handled it together became a model for others who faced similar situations.? Had the focus turned to work over the person’s state of being, the results could have been disastrous.? Think of a time when a team member experienced the loss of a family member or close friend.? How empathetic we are to others in meeting them where they are is often necessary, and failing to do so is brutal not just because of its impact on an individual but also on others because those kinds of stories rarely stay with one person.? Remember to exercise a level of empathy toward others, because failing to do so is incredibly difficult to overcome, and no one wants to lose talented people due to a leader’s inability to empathize with someone’s pain or grief.

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We all want to grow as leaders.? Growing pains are often difficult to handle, and the hardest ones are not for the faint-hearted.? However, our ability to embrace these challenges expands our capacity to be better leaders.? Japanese use the word “Kaizen,” which translates as “good change” or “improvement.”? If we focus less on wallowing in mistakes and more on what we learn from them, we improve our leadership by leaps and bounds.? So, let us grow through realistic expectations and better organization.? Let us be clear in our communications and exercise empathy when needed.? That is what great leaders do.? Are you ready?? Time to fly!