Is it time to exit or stay where you are?

Is it time to exit or stay where you are?

Tim Connor, CSP

We’ve all heard it – when one door closes another one opens. But does that imply we need to go through it? Some opportunities are worth pursuing while others could be distracting or even take you off course, one that you have been on for a while and want to continue.

Often opportunities can blind us to reality with the hope of faster or easier results that we feel entitled to or desire.

I believe in going after opportunities but the question remains when you consider all of your current circumstances, resources and goals should you just say no to an opportunity after carefully considering it, or should you go after it with passion, resolve, and energy?

Before we move on, let’s be clear about what opportunities are – they are just new options, directions, or goals that may or may not further our cause or mission, or purpose. Every day we are all given new opportunities – people to have relationships with, career choices, money options (what to buy or where or how to invest, what to save and where) and yes new sidelines, hobbies or interests but at the end not all of these deserve our time, resources or energy.?So how do we know whether an opportunity is right for us now or in the future??Great question.

Over the years I have taken my eye off the target and chased after what I believed at the time was right, but in the end, after careful further evaluation, I realized I let my short-term needs or desires overrule common sense and good judgment.?I won’t bore you with my disappointing stories but I will say that as a result of going after many of these perceived positive goals I finally learned a simple and timely lesson – if an opportunity in any way takes you off the course you want to pursue – pass it up.?The challenge here, however, is that if you are not sure of where you are going or why - you lack the benchmarks, experience, or ability to make sound current decisions regarding an opportunity.?Too often, regretfully I let my current fears, desires, or circumstances override what in the long run was the wiser choice – to pass.

Then there is an exit sign ahead – in a career, relationship, or some other life area – should you take it because a current opportunity has crossed your path or should you hang in there a bit longer?

We all can have an exit sign in front of us – when a career no longer satisfies us, a business has stolen some other area of our life or a relationship is just heading gradually or quickly towards disaster.?Is it time to leave or should we hang in there??Not easy questions, but ones that we should carefully consider before walking through the exit door.

Four quick and simple questions – When should we take action on an opportunity and why? And when should we exit and why?

When should we pursue an opportunity and why?

Opportunities can sometimes free us from current negative circumstances or life situations.?They give us an excuse to move in a new direction that we feel or believe is better than our current course.?This inner urging can be caused by frustration, a lack of patience, trust, success, satisfaction, or increased stress.?They can convince us (what our mind experiences or beliefs) that a new course is better for us than our current direction.?There could be many reasons for this but the dominant one is always a lack of satisfaction or contentment with our current circumstances and the desire for change.

We can often convince ourselves that the new direction will give us what we want or need but in the end, it could often be just a way for us to permit ourselves to walk away from something present in our life now.

We don’t like our current job, position, or career and feel we need to move on – but consider – could this lack of satisfaction be due to your behavior, choices, or actions and not those caused by the job, career, boss but some other inner factor, attitude, prejudice or behavior?

Pursuing a new opportunity can be filled with excitement, passion, and resolve but it can also contain uncertainty, disappointment, or potential failure that we are often unaware of or are unwilling to consider.

When I start writing a new book, I have no idea whether it will fail or succeed or even sell, but I will never know until I write it and make it available.?So, with the decision to take on a new endeavor I am faced with both potential failure and success.?So, the question is - ultimately – can I handle the possible failure and not feel regret or even anger if it is not successful??This is the ultimate question when it comes to embracing an opportunity – if it doesn’t work out the way you planned or hoped can you look at this as a lesson learned or do you wallow in grief, regret, denial, blame, or frustration?

When should we take the exit and why??Taking an exit can always be perceived as the easy way out –of a situation that is destructive or painful in some way but let me ask you, could there be more benefits and learning from staying than leaving??Or could it be ultimately better to leave than to stay??Neither question is easy or can be answered now with accuracy.

The only way to know whether you should have taken an exit is to evaluate the new circumstances along the way.?If over the long term you can look back, “thinking, I know now what I didn’t know then and say - yes, I would do it again.”

The truth is, there is no way to know for sure how, why or when things will be tomorrow whether you decide to stay or exit – that’s life, my friend.

I will leave you with a basic premise I consider in every life circumstance, relationship, failure, and success – life is a teacher.?It can always teach me about me and not necessarily the person or circumstances if I will let it.