A Time for Civility

We've been talking about harassment and discrimination for decades, yet when we look at the EEOC statistics, it doesn't look like we are making any headway. Today's workforce reports that it's greatest threat to feel "safe" in the workplace is exposure to bullying.

We've Been Treating the Symptoms

For decades we have trained (and we continue to train - sometimes by legal mandate) on harassment and discrimination. It's not to say that the training is wrong, but we miss the biggest cause. It's like going to the doctor for a fever and receiving treatment for only the fever without figuring out what is causing the fever. While the fever may or may not go away, the cause will not be treated.

When it comes to harassment and discrimination, those are ONLY THE SYMPTOMS, not the cause. After you look at the deeper cultural causes or contributions, we get into the deeper issues that contribute to the real problems.

We Allow A Culture of Incivility

The culture of incivility comes from behavior that seems innocent enough and acceptable to most working relationships. It starts with little things such as rumors, talking behind people's backs, putting people down, joking, talking down to others and criticizing others that then lead to belittling, insulting and eventually impeding their work. None of these things are illegal - maybe rude and socially inappropriate, but at their face value they are things that "just happen" in the workplace. As they become accepted, we tell ourselves "that is just how things are around here." This will eventually slip over time to abuse, teasing, ridicule, exclusion, and other behaviors that slip into harassment and discrimination leading us to ask..."How did we get here?"

How Do We Make the Shift?

While every organization is different, here are 4 ways to begin to make the shift to create a culture of civility that can help to improve the overall work environment, engage employees to manage themselves and reduce the probability of behavior that may lead to harassment and discrimination.

1. Set Standards

The first step is to define what "civil" looks like. There are 2 truths that come into play: You get what you ask for - and if you don't communicate it, it won't happen. Building your expectations to "play nice" into your culture, policies, and procedures is the best place to start. Communicating it regularly is even better. Don't be afraid to repeat your expectations - perhaps not in an overbearing method of heavy rules and regulations, but built into your everyday communications and expectations. Line up your expectations within performance measures, company values, and mission statements. The more they hear it, see it and are expected to abide by your standards, the more they'll "get it."

2. Be the Example

When you say something but then act another way, people notice. This is especially the case for managers in key positions. Immediate supervisors, top managers, executives, and HR are in the limelight whether they want to be or not. Whatever the standards are, key managers and executives must walk the talk and abide by the standards set to show the example of what "good" looks like when it comes to the standards of civility.

3. Create Learning Opportunities

You may think it sounds funny to have to teach civility, but it's not that far fetched. Where do they learn it? At home? At school? Not anymore. These are skills that are not deliberately taught in any given location - and if you have specific expectations with defined standards, you need to have a source available for them to learn. Examples include courses or resources to teach skills in effective listening, written communication, verbal communication, and body language. Courses in effective networking, inter-departmental communication and civility itself are options as well. Given the options in technology, you can offer these in person, virtually or through your learning management systems - but offer them.

4. Hold Employees Accountable

Employees and managers must be held accountable to be civil to one another. When people cross the line, feedback and coaching must take place immediately. Remember - they can't fix what they don't know, and they may not understand that what they are doing is inappropriate, rude or crossing the line if no one has ever told them before. Be direct and candid, but never rude. Follow the SBI model provided by the Center for Creative Leadership by sharing the situation ("when you were in my office on Tuesday"), the behavior ("you spoke to me in what I felt was a very condescending and belittling tone"), and the impact ("and I felt that you did not respect me as your coworker which both hurt my feelings and offended me"). You may also start by holding the organization accountable with an employee survey - to measure and define your starting point with civility as an organization.

Most of the time, people do not come to work with the intention to be rude or uncivil. It is often the culmination of several cultural elements that build over time that result in good people engaging in bad behavior. By promoting elements of civility in the workplace, we can help employees and managers continue to improve the culture and enhance their ability to perform at their highest levels.

Here's to your success!

Wade

Dr. Wade Larson

[email protected]

www.wadelarson.com

"Be the Leader in the Room"

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