Time for Change!

This “article” is meant to be entertaining, if not also to spark some dialogue about self-assessment. I’m not claiming to be the expert here, but these are my observations. I welcome your thoughts on this…

The year is coming to a close (the western year, not the Asian year), and many people take this time to tidy up their office, certainly close down all contractual issues before the end of the quarter, prepare for a little holiday time off, and look ahead to the New Year. Resolutions and aspirations for how to make 2019 a better year than 2018 are pondered, and perhaps some budgetary and headcount estimates for new hiring may be considered. 

Different countries have different business traditions. In Japan at this time of year, not much if any business is conducted. Instead, it’s time to meet up with coworkers, customers, suppliers, old colleagues, and friends to have a drink (or two or more), and “forget the year”. Most westerners would benefit from this practice of a semi-formal ritual (with or without alcohol) to mindfully meet with your various “circles of influence” just to express gratitude, perhaps blow off some steam, and then purposefully and mutually agree to “start fresh” in the New Year. It’s basically an agreement to let go of the past and look forward to the future. It grants you a “do-over” for next year. In Japan, the tradition dictates that the moment any alcohol hits your lips, regardless of whether it’s just a sip or a deep gulp, whatever you say after that is “off the record”. So you can say virtually anything to your boss, your vendor, your customer, your coworker, and “in theory” all will be forgotten in the New Year and this conversation will never be referenced again. Of course, only a fool unloads all his grievances and perceived transgressions on his audience, and it is the wonderful nuance and ambiguity of the Japanese language that makes this work. I can imagine a very different comedy sketch where a department of Scots and “proper” English coworkers go through a guided “Bonenkai” exercise in a pub led by a management consultant, resulting in a brawl.

After New Year, there is another admirable Japanese tradition in business and society to declare “congratulations for the start of a New Year”, and part of the intent is to look forward, start fresh. Relationships are important in Japanese society and business. It takes a long time to build a stone bridge, but only one mistake can break the bridge. So there are boundaries that should not be crossed. On the other hand, disappointment about not fully achieving certain outcomes can be “forgotten” before New Year and then after New Year there can be a new opportunity to resolve to achieve the goal and try again. Everybody deserves a second chance.

I bring this up because I have millennial children, some in college, some just out of college, and I now find myself in the situation of being alternately asked for business and career advice while at other times receiving a “performance review”. There is an old French saying that goes something like, “when I was 10, I thought my father was brilliant. When I was 19, I thought my father was an idiot. When I was 30, I thought my father was brilliant.” Most of us are savvy enough to avoid repeating the same mistakes our parents made. Instead, we make different mistakes. The jury is still out on my final performance review. 

Here are three articles that have sparked a lot of discussion between my kids and me, which I will tie together and explain later:

“BS Jobs: How Meaningless Work Wears Us Down”

https://www.npr.org/2018/08/28/642706138/bs-jobs-how-meaningless-work-wears-us-down

There is an associated podcast whereby reputable sociological studies claim that up to 40% of all Western workers think their job is meaningless and that nothing would change if they just disappeared from work. That’s rather disheartening.

And then there’s this one:

“How to Start Turning Your Work Life Around to Be Happy”

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackkelly/2018/12/14/how-to-start-turning-your-work-life-around-to-be-happy/#1ed7f30060b3

I find this one remarkable in that, well, doesn’t everybody already know this? I thought we all knew this? Do you mean to tell me that there’s an entire generation of younger workers who never learned this and this was never taught to them? The key takeaway for me is that I need to reassess what I assume is common knowledge and maybe find an engaging and healthy way to start dialogues with peers and direct reports to make sure this is understood. I think our Human Resources departments have given us so many initiatives and directives aimed at effective communication, team building, performance review goal setting, as well as training to prevent harassment and discrimination, that this topic of “job satisfaction” and personal fulfillment is drowned out. (My HR friends will likely take umbrage about this assertion but please hold judgment until the end.)

The pep talk I give every one one of my direct reports goes something like this: You must always be working on something that is valuable and teaches you new things. Always work on things that look good on your resume. If you learn new things and grow, then you become more valuable in the marketplace. Then either our company must pay you more and promote you, or some other company will steal you away from us. And if you ever get a chance for a better job than this, you owe it to yourself and your family to take it. Just have a friendly conversation with me anytime you feel like you're being wasted on the job, or when you see a better opportunity externally. Give me a chance to fix the situation. If I can't make it right, then I'll support you in leaving for a better deal.

And finally this article, which is actually very old but just got refreshed into news feeds:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/brentdykes/2016/03/31/data-storytelling-the-essential-data-science-skill-everyone-needs/#4852df2c52ad

This basically claims that big data analytics and business insights are critical for any business to succeed. But the problem is how to convert the analysis into actionable and meaningful recommendations. Having a clean, magnifying mirror that reveals the whole truth about all the issues isn’t the same as knowing which remedy to apply, or what preemptive action should be taken even before a problem arises. And apparently many of the data scientists cannot effectively communicate their findings to the decision makers. Storytelling is the answer! The ability to weave together all the relevant, related, and key facts into a story that the audience can comprehend and then act accordingly is missing. There is a “last mile” in getting the analysis into a form that can be consumed. 

So why am I telling you about these articles? Because if there is a flaw in “the system”, then the only way to succeed in a Truth and Reconciliation initiative is to agree that the people within the system are basically good (except for Santa’s Naughty List) but are being squeezed into a bad mold. Good actors cannot overcome a bad script. Maybe you think your job is meaningless and that depresses you? Maybe you are unhappy with your life, both vocationally and personally? Maybe you feel overwhelmed by all the statistics, alarm bells, and red gauges that are screaming at you, yet you don’t know which dials to turn to prevent a meltdown? 

The last article about Big Data Analytics and Storytelling can apply to you personally as much as to a business. Everybody has a story to tell, and you owe it to yourself and those around you to figure out your story. Make it interesting. You have full permission and are hereby commissioned to write your story. You should have a “profile story” that is a synopsis about who you are and what you value, as well as the longer version, with chapters. I actually don’t know anybody who is perfectly happy “as is”, or who has always been happy “as is”, or who is likely to remain happy regardless of any future circumstances. So your story should include some key points about your past that were meaningful both in terms of joy as well as disappointment and pain. I had a coworker whose life story had both triumph and tragedy. He wasn't born in America. His parents brought him as a small child. He did not know he was an illegal alien until he graduated from high school and then wanted to go to college. He was shocked to discover that he was living illegally in America. At the last moment, before his only choice was deportation back to a country he never knew and couldn't remember, he was granted amnesty and given the chance to become a citizen. He joined the Marine Corps, fought in combat in the middle east, witnessed death and destruction, became a US Citizen, and then finally went to college. His story is like yours. Filled with loss, victory, and hope.

I just watched a documentary made in England named “Spitfire: The Plane that Saved The World”. It’s about the class of World War 2 fighter planes called “Spitfires”. The authors interviewed a few remaining pilots who flew in WW2. Those veterans are a shrinking population. There was a woman pilot, named Mary Ellis, who was 100 years old when she was filmed and interviewed for this documentary. In WW2, the British factories produced planes, then somebody had to fly the planes to various air bases to deliver to the fighter pilots. Mary was one of those delivery “ferry” pilots. She flew and delivered over 400 military aircraft, from fighters to bombers, during her service in WW2. She experienced discrimination. But she did not relent. That woman had a story to tell.

There was a recent article written by a young millennial decrying the injustice of the age limit to become President of the United States. Did you know you must be at least 35 years old to be President? The author of the article basically took the gloves off and sounded off about how dumb and slow old people are and that a certain 29 year old, newly elected, first-time politician should be allowed to run for President in 2020 because young people make better decisions than old people. As a formally trained manager, I would have had to involve HR with that person to review “age discrimination” laws if we were working together. I fully agree that there’s no fool like an old fool, but foolishness knows no age limits. Never the less, old people know more about being young than young people know about being old. And there’s a wealth of Big Data hiding in every “old person” that should be mined and analyzed for recommendations. I’m sad that Mary Ellis just passed away this year at 101. She was lucid and noble and charming and we’re poorer for her passing. Everybody should aspire to learn from Mary. I have learned that every human can teach me a lesson, either an action to do likewise, or an action to avoid.

That's why I collect people's stories and take them to heart. I used to collect "9/11" Stories. Everybody born after 1995 likely has a "9/11" story. They can remember where they were and what they felt on September 11, 2001. That day impacted the world. And everybody has a story to tell. I have collected some amazing stories, but that's for another day, another article.

You need to own your life’s story. You need to pull it together now. Today. Not “soon”. Now. Once you have drafted your story, you’ve got to practice telling it. You can start with the mirror, then move on to your dog or cat, then video yourself and replay it. Watching yourself on video will make you cringe, but you need to replay, rethink, and refine your story. Practice.

Next, you’ve got to find a live human being, not an AI bot, who you trust. Somebody who knows you. Somebody with tolerance and patience to listen to you tell your story. Hopefully somebody who can sift your data points and make recommendations. But you’ve got to be willing to accept their advice. Of course, you can get a second opinion if you have the luxury of more than one trusted advisor. But if you just want to vent your problems and fears and have no intention of ever doing the hard work needed to change, then please don’t waste your friends’ and family’s time retelling the same story over and over again. I am aware that many people pay counselors and therapists to listen to them vent, sometimes for years, and nothing improves in their lives. If you have a tolerant friend willing to listen to your story “for free”, and if they are trusted enough to give you their honest feedback, you’re on the path to improvement. There is a proverb that says, “better a slap in the face from your best friend than the kisses of your enemy.”

The New Year is coming. It’s time to mindfully and purposefully connect with your family, friends, present and past coworkers, and whatever other individuals or groups where you have spent time and interacted with humans. Maybe it’s just a cup of coffee, or a beer, or a Season’s Greetings card in the mail. Maybe it’s a lunch or dinner. Hopefully there’s a party and a reason to celebrate something if nothing more than just “forget this year” and resolve to “look forward to the new year”. Enjoying a party in the company of other people is good for you whether or not you are currently satisfied or dissatisfied with your life. Who knows? Somebody in the room might be just the right person to help you discover adjustments needed to put you on a better path. Dialogue and storytelling spark the imagination and inspire us to act. Ask them to tell you their story. Listen to theirs first before you tell yours.

Cheers!