Time for a change?

Often when we think about change, particularly career change, we assume that when it’s time there’ll be a clear sign. Maybe you’ll be bored senseless, or had a falling out with your boss, or perhaps been handed a redundancy package.?

The reality is that often it’s not that clear cut. Rather than desperately needing to escape a burning platform, you’re on solid ground, perhaps tentatively peering over the edge of the cliff, wondering whether to take a leap into the unknown or remain safe in the comfort of the way things are.

Imagine standing at a crossroads. One path leads to the known- relationships you’ve spent years nurturing, systems and processes you’ve become adept at navigating, the familiar routine of your commute. The other path a lot more ambiguous- you don’t know the people, the systems, the office politics. Maybe you need to learn new skills or form relationships in a completely new industry.

There are so many unknowns.

This is why many people find change so hard, because it demands that we make a choice to bid farewell to the things we know, the reassuringly familiar- whether that be a job, a relationship, a place, a habit, or an old version of ourselves.

My own willingness to change has taken a fair few people by surprise over the years. I’ve left roles that could be considered ‘dream jobs’, teams that work like well oiled machines, and organisations with a sense of ‘family’ so strong that people stay for decades. I left the town where I grew up, a career path that had been the basis for my degree choice, and an industry that I knew inside and out.

It’s often hardest to explain to those closest to me, my friends, family, colleagues. Sometimes it’s seen as a rejection: 'Do you not like us anymore?' 'Have we not given you the opportunities you wanted?' 'Aren’t we good enough?'. Other times concern: 'Are you sure you can manage it?' 'You've built up such a good reputation'. 'The grass isn’t always greener…'

But I’ve learnt that this resistance is more about them than me.? Change threatens to upset the equilibrium for everyone, not just the person who moves on.

Saying goodbye is an art- navigating a delicate mix of gratitude and grief. I write thank you notes to those that I’ve cherished, make thoughtful speeches, cry ugly tears and hug people tight. Knowing that each farewell is just a brushstroke on the canvas of my life- a testament to what I’ve valued.

But I keep going. Why? Because change isn’t merely about loss; it’s also about renewal. As we step out into the unknown, we shed old skins. We say goodbye to the person we were, embracing the person we’re becoming. Change is an opportunity to breathe life into my story: to add new chapters, to create adventures, and to explore uncharted territory.

Change taps right into my values. I’m curious: I long for growth, new learning, and fresh experiences. I’m ambitious: I’m not content to settle, I want to live the fullest life I possibly can, and I’m courageous: I won’t let fear hold me from achieving my goals.

But most of all I’m optimistic, and that optimism leads me to focus not on what I have to let go of, but what I have to gain. I believe that there is better out there for all of us, if only we’re willing to change.

So if you’re struggling with change here’s my advice:

1. Take time to reflect on what really matters to you. What are your aspirations, values, and desires? It’s easier to take a leap if you have your sights on something you want on the other side of it.
2. Acknowledge that leaving something familiar can stir up all kinds of emotions, honour your experience: say your goodbyes, celebrate what you’ve gained, and allow yourself to grieve.
3. Learn to release you grip on the familiar. Recognise your fears, but don’t let them paralyse you. The more you confront them, the more confident you’ll become in embracing the unknown.
4. Take smaller steps if you need to. Change doesn’t need to be big or fast to move us forward. You already have an advantage just by trying.
5. Seek out companions to support you on the journey, whether that be friends, family, a coach or mentor.

Most of all, learn to trust yourself and your intuition.

Next time change knocks on your door, invite it in. Pour a cup of tea, sit across from it, and listen. Change is not the enemy; it’s here to help shape us into who we’re meant to be.??

And if you need a little help to listen with you, then coaching is a fantastic enabler of change. I will listen to your hopes and fears, support you to process your emotions, help identify tangible steps forward at a pace that feels right for you, and serve as a companion on your journey.

If you're considering whether it's time for a change- be that a new career or role, a change in your approach, or a shift in mindset and you'd like to explore how coaching could support that then please do get in touch.