Time Always Wins, So Change How You Engage With It

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." – C.S. Lewis

I was chatting with a friend last week who was frustrated with his inability to get all of his to-do items done each day. He was behind on a few key projects, struggling to give his family the time they deserved and feeling a little burned out. His focus on self-care was almost non-existent. He observed that there was “never enough time in the day” to get everything done and was projecting a negative mindset that I frequently observe in professionals today. He saw time as an enemy he could never defeat.

News Flash: Throughout history, time has never lost a battle. Time always wins.

I think most of us, me included, want to believe we can conquer time. We may even view time as the enemy, but the sobering reality is time is indifferent to us. Time doesn’t care. Time is neutral. Time does not respect life’s demands. Time is oblivious to our needs. Time marches on, with or without us. Unless we own a time machine, we must acknowledge that time is, and always will be, undefeated. Maybe we need to stop fighting time and change how we engage with it.

Reframing Our Thinking About Time

Time is not out to get us and we are not at war with the clock and the calendar. Let’s accept this reality and change how we engage with time. Let’s work with it, not against it. This short post will not solve the great mystery of time, but perhaps it will help you come to the realization that we are really battling ourselves. The key lesson here is not better time management, but better self-management.

Where to Focus?

I have written extensively in the past about tactical approaches to improve time management and I will link to those posts at the end of this one. I see this post as a foundational precursor to those more tactical writings of mine as I believe the key focus areas below will better prepare us to engage with time at a higher and more impactful level. This elevated mindset will also enable the helpful and actionable best practices I have previously shared to be more easily applied to your daily life.

Purpose and Preparation. What do you want to achieve in all areas of your life today, tomorrow, next week and beyond? Do you have a sense of mission and purpose? Do you have a plan? Does your daily activity support it? Are you being realistic about how much time will be required for everything on your list?

Prioritization. What are your aspirational priorities and do they come into conflict with your actual priorities? Are self-care, family time and relationships an afterthought? Are they an add-on to an already crammed day? Tough choices and the ability to say NO are often needed to honor your important priorities and there is only so much time in the day. Time is a finite resource, so be wise in how you use it.

Self-discipline and Being More Efficient. Do you have a daily routine? What gets in the way of being more disciplined with your calendar? Do you control your calendar or does your calendar control you? Do you have boundaries around your calendar and respect the boundaries of others? Do you procrastinate? Waste time?

o?? How much time do you spend scrolling through the wasteland of your iPhone and other screens each day in non-work activities? Worldwide, people spend an average of six hours and forty minutes each day looking at screens . Unproductive screen time is the go-to activity and enabler for people prone to procrastination.

o?? Do your meetings have clear and actionable agendas? Start and end on time? Do days filled with inefficient or unproductive meetings force you to take work home at night and on weekends?

o?? Multi-tasking does not make you more efficient. Don’t spread yourself so thin that you are giving a marginal effort to multiple tasks. Focus on being excellent at fewer things. More can sometimes be less! “The shorter way to do many things is to only do one thing at a time.” — Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

o?? Do you empower your team and delegate to them, or have a tendency to do most important tasks yourself (this is common when we experience stress)? We waste time when we consistently fail to delegate.

Patience. Being patient is fundamental to effectively engaging with time. Have you noticed you can't make time go any faster? You can think and act faster if it offers you comfort, but time is going to keep moving at its own pace regardless of what you do. Take a breath. Sleep on it. Sometimes it is OK to wait for things to unfold. I know this is difficult, but cultivating patience is what will best activate a healthier relationship with time.

Gratitude. This focus area may appear odd to you. What if we look at every experience of the day, good or bad, with a sense of gratitude? Each moment of the day is an opportunity to make a positive difference in somebody’s life, a chance to achieve a goal at work, improve a relationship, learn from a mistake, be thankful for the gift of our loved ones or simply appreciate having gainful employment. Thinking of time as a gift to be grateful for, rather than an enemy to defeat, is life changing.

Reflection. A wonderful way to better engage with time is to reflect on the lessons you learn each day. Instead of the often-frustrating focus on squeezing more productivity out of each day, what if we focus on being more present and learning from our actions and encounters? Live in the moment instead of always trying to expand your to-do list. Taking a moment right after a conversation or meeting or spending time the next morning reflecting on the teachable moments from the previous day’s activities and conversations can be a powerful catalyst for personal and professional growth.

I have experienced a profound and positive change in how I view time by re-framing how I think about it through the prism of these focus areas I have just shared. I have seen this same impact in the lives of clients and friends who have also made this shift. If you are working on saving time and have approaches that work for you, do not stop! I am only encouraging you to stop seeing time as the enemy or something you can beat into submission. Instead, see time as an inevitable force that all of us have an opportunity to engage with daily in perhaps a different way. As I shared earlier, this post and what I am proposing is more about better self-management than better time management.

Look in the mirror and reflect on what changes you can make to your mindset, starting today. Good luck!

*Previous posts of mine on time management:

Your Time is a Gift

How to Identify and Thwart Time Thieves

Living Life in Real Time

I am excited to announce my newest book, Becoming a More Thoughtful Leader, is now available from Amazon! If you would like to learn more about the book or purchase a copy, click here .

Randy Hain is the president of Serviam Partners , the award-winning author of 11 books, an executive coach, leadership consultant and thought leader on candor, clarity, time management and business relationships. He is also the co-founder of The Leadership Foundry