Tiffany's Story: I Had to Make a Choice

“I tried to have two separate lives – that of someone facing substance abuse and of being a mom. Those are very different and that’s very hard to do.” – Tiffany?

In a household dominated by her mother’s battle with substances, Tiffany’s childhood was toxic and chaotic. Without the attention and protection she needed, she fell victim to bullying by other children and older siblings. And at only age 11, she was sexually abused by a relative she’d never before had reason to fear.?

?“I never felt comfortable in my own skin after that happened,” she says. “And I started withdrawing.”?

As Tiffany grew older and was forced to take part in more social interactions, she began using alcohol to calm her anxiety and bolster her courage. But the relief was only temporary. Despite witnessing her mother’s painful struggles, she was driven to seek more powerful substances.?

“I started trying different medications, just to feel something,” she says. “I enjoyed it because I could forget a lot of the things I didn’t want to remember.”?

Her self-destructive behaviors led to unhealthy relationships, and at 16 she became pregnant with her first of three children. Now battling her own substance abuse and with no means of support, Tiffany and her little ones lived with her parents who, for nearly a decade, raised her children as their own. Then Tiffany’s mother died.?

Her father continued to provide for them until his own health failed, and the children were sent to live in other homes. Still grieving her mother’s death, frightened by her father’s decline and devastated by the loss of her children, Tiffany knew she had to make a choice.?

“I had to get my life straight – get myself together for my own kids. The only thing I had left to hold on to was God.”??

And she sought Him at the Mission.?

“I felt there was a long journey ahead of me, but I was hopeful. My plan was to just find myself so I could get my kids back.”?

Tiffany had believed in God since childhood, but because of her adversity, she felt He had abandoned her. “He seemed distant; I thought He was angry with me.” But in our faith-based environment, with the care of our Christian counselors, she realized He’d always loved her, embraced His forgiveness and asked Him to guide her life.?

“Now it seems kind of simple just to turn to God… to put Him first.”?

Tiffany excelled in our LifeBuilders Program, a holistic curriculum that addresses the long-term emotional, spiritual, medical, social, educational and economic needs of our students.?

“They give you many tools for success and help you prepare mentally for the world, which can be overwhelming.”?

She recently earned her GED and is hopeful to attend college in the future. But most important to her now is the case plan for being reunited with her children, which includes parenting classes, stable housing and steady employment. She also hopes to reconnect with family members she’s been estranged from for many years.?

But until that time comes – and even when it does – she knows she has a family here at the Mission.?

“They have loved me through all the ugly and not so good days??and shown me grace. They have endless amounts of grace.??I have a support system here and I’m grateful.”?

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City Rescue Mission (CRM) is dedicated to providing housing, one-on-one counseling, career services, addiction recovery, spiritual mentorship and so much more for needy individuals in Jacksonville and beyond. But we can’t do it alone! Visit CRMJAX.org to get involved or make a donation.

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