Thursday’s Leadership Insight High Road Leadership Part II How Well Are You Leading Yourself?

Leadership is and has always been a relationship business. One of my early mentors, Dr. William Glasser, often told us who worked with the Glasser Institute ." It is all about relationships." A high-road leader understands and embraces this bedrock principle of leadership. As leadership expert Mark Miller says, they understand that they have a choice as a leader: to build people up and get things done. The order is important to take note of, build people up, and then Get things done. Relationships are paramount in the development of one's leadership practice one's leadership practice. These relationships are built by bringing people together to a common ground based on connection, leading to engagement and learning in any organization. In High Road Leadership , John Maxwell provides twelve principles a leader can learn, practice, and apply to move towards being a high-road leader. In last week's Thursday Leadership Insight Newsletter article, we discussed? The first two principles of high-road leadership. Those first two principles are bringing people together and valuing all people. These two principles highlight the importance of building relationships with those around you.

?

The topic of this Thursday's Leadership Insight is to consider two other relationship principles of being a high–road leader. These two principles are not about the relationship with others, be they followers, the market, or the community. These two principles consider the leader's relationship with themselves. These two principles examine the primary relationship and connection in any leader's practice. That relationship is the leader's relationship with who they are. Their relationship with themselves is the foundation of a leader's development. A high-road leader knows that the first person they must build up and develop is with themselves. This is not a selfish practice; as a leader, most first lead themselves. All leader builds their leadership practice from the inside out in a never-ending continual improvement cycle.

This week's edition of Thursday's Leadership Insight addresses two questions all leaders must come to grips with in their personal development of their leadership practice and their relationship with themselves. Those two questions involved in these two principles are how I embrace my humanness and my motive to lead and do the right things for the right reasons. A leader's answers to these two questions will direct the road of their leadership practice. A high-road leader embraces their humanness and leads to serving and consequently does the right thing for the right reason. Middle-road and low-road leaders will have many different answers to these two questions that will impact their practice. A leader on a middle-road path will? negotiate to use people to be transactional and win with conditional respect. A low-road leader will seek to be divisive to achieve victory for themselves and their circle through blame, disrespect, and hatred.

Question #1: How do I embrace my humanness as a leader?

?A leader seeking to be a high-road leader can follow these practices to answer how I can embrace my own humanness in my leadership practice.

"We are all flawed human beings. One step away from stupid."

?John Maxwell, High Road Leadership

1. Get over yourself

Leaders are first humans. All humans have flaws and are imperfect. We are, as the Bible notes, "cracked vessels ." In High Road Leadership, John Maxwell quotes Carl Sandburg's description of the human condition." There is an eagle in me who wants to soar and a hippopotamus in me who wants to wallow in the mud." He further writes that an eagle in me wants to rise and do great things. Unfortunately, it leads me to look down on others and judge." We also can be hippos wallowing in low places in the mud and feeling comfortable but stuck from any movement using the excuse of being in the mud. A high road leader must consider that they are special, as we all can be eagles and hippos. Giving oneself the grace to get out of the mud and soar without judgment relieves one's need to be perfect in leadership. It also helps to be the same way with people. People don't want a perfect leader; they want a human one who gives grace and perspective to themselves and others so that they can connect and build a relationship.

?

2. Practice self-care

A leader moving to become a high-road leader must practice self-care. They must make an intentional practice of recharging and reflection. Recharging restores energy. Reflection creates perspective and learning for future actions. These two practices reenergize one's leadership and are a model for those one serves. Mary Kay Ash, the cofounder of Mary Kay cosmetics, often told her leaders to" work when others work and to play when others play "to set an example for those they lead. She would conclude this thought with wise counsel for all leaders. She would say, "If others see your job isn't energizing, fun, and gratifying, why would those you choose to be a leader like you?"

3. Develop your self-awareness.

Being self-aware requires learning to accept the eagle and hippo as parts of being human and creates time and space to reflect. In a LinkedIn article, 10? Guiding Principes of Human Leadership, Jennifer Nash of Nash Coaching & Consulting writes, "The difference between an average leader and an outstanding one is deceptively simple. She further notes that being a human leader is the secret to driving exceptional performance. Human Leaders practice reflection to build a relationship with themselves—a key foundation to building human and relational skills".

"When you are aware of your humanness, and you acknowledge? you don't know all the answers, you listen to yourself and others."

John Maxwell High Road Leadership

4. Become a student, accept that you don't know it all

A hopelessly outdated myth, unfortunately still prevalent, is that the leader as the answer person. The world is simply moving too fast to know everything. The only way for any organization in any sector to grow and flourish is to learn and apply continuously. A leader who wants to be a high-road leader must overcome their title, expertise, and ego and become the chief learner. An intentional model of present listening, asking to always seek knowledge, and involving other learners broadens the perspectives and enhances the creativity and innovation of the organization. Being a human leader means being authentic and vulnerable to follow this practice. This also builds connection by valuing all and bringing people together as learners and leaders.

5. Seek feedback to sharpen your focus.

A high road leader who develops their self-awareness knows they must stay focused to avoid drifting. This is best accomplished by being a listener and seeking feedback to learn. A trusted, honest friend or colleague, mentor or coach, 360-degree surveys, and focus groups can be master classes in learning perspective and reinforcing humility on the journey to be a high road leader.

Question #2: What motivates me to lead and do the right thing for the right reasons?

The second question for a leader to address to build a relationship with themselves is to be clear on their motivation to lead. In High Road Leadership, John Maxwell writes, "The most important question a leader can ask themselves Why do I want to lead others? A leader's motive will determine their leadership mindset and all facets of their development and actions. A leader's motive will then dictate the organization's direction, vision, and agility to adapt and move forward. The leader's motive will be seen in actions that serve as a model for all aspiring leaders in the organization. The leader's motive will set the organization's leadership culture and vision and determine the life of the organization. In The Motive , Patrick Lencioni asks leaders to reflect on this simple yet complex, foundational, and challenging leadership question, "Are you leading for the right reasons? What is your motive?"The response to this question is critical for leaders and their organizations in navigating difficult times. A leader's motive will determine their leadership mindset and all facets of their development and actions. A leader's motive will then dictate the organization's direction, vision, and agility to adapt and move forward. The leader's motive will be seen in actions that serve as a model for all aspiring leaders in the organization. The leader's motive will set the organization's leadership culture vision and determine the life of the organization.

A leader's motivation to lead will guide doing the right things for the right reasons. Three practices guide a person seeking to become a high-road leader.

1. What is my motivation to lead?

John Maxwell writes that the motive to lead can be manipulation for gain or the motive to serve. Patrick Lencioni refers to leadership motivation in The Motive based on two broad categories. Reward-based leaders choose to lead for their benefit or a small group of people's interest. They see leadership as a reward for experience, titles, or degrees, as an entitlement to delegate "dump" their job on others. They have a sense of entitlement. The second category is what he terms responsibility-based leaders. They understand leadership is a responsibility to do more, not a license to do less. The measure of a high-road leader is their understanding of leadership as hard work and responsibility to others first.

2. What are my values?

?A person seeking to be a high-road leader will be clear on their values. Their values will align with their motive to lead and be seen in all the organization does. The individual's clarity of values and motive to lead will be a compass for the organization.

3. Leaders seeking to be high-road leaders do the right things ?for the right reasons

Maxwell notes this can be very hard, yet it displays the motives and values of the organization. He writes in High–Road Leadership, "Doing what's right for the right reasons should be the goal -even if it costs me. " The CEO of General Motors displayed this principle in action in 2014. Soon after becoming CEO, Mary Barra faced a major crisis when it was revealed that GM had failed to recall millions of vehicles with faulty ignition switches, which was linked to multiple deaths. Barra took responsibility, initiated a recall, set up a compensation fund for victims, and overhauled GM's corporate culture to prioritize safety and accountability over cost-cutting."It's about ensuring we have the right cultural values and doing the right thing for the right reasons."?

Leaders aspiring to be high-road leaders must first lead themselves, developing their core leadership values and acting on them. This leader embraces their humanness and motivation to lead by doing the right things for the right reasons. The high-road leader knows this is a hard task of serving and building connections and relationships to get things done. They embrace their humanness and do the right things for the right reasons. High-road leaders are confident in who they are and what they do. They are "comfortable in their skin, "and it is seen in their actions.

The leadership questions for you then are:

1. Are you "comfortable in your own skin"?

2. Are you clear on your motive to serve and your values?

3. Can the answers to the two questions above be seen in your everyday actions?

?

?