Thumb... thumb... thumb... thumb...

So… I completely tore one of the ligaments in my left thumb. Let me share with you the breakdown of what happened, bear with me on the details because from there, you will see why the blessings make sense.

How it unfolds

Tue 21 Nov: I was using my left palm to press down the bulky recyclables into a big bag to create more space for more recyclables. Then I felt a “pop” sensation in my left thumb like as if the bone in my thumb shifted and popped out of its original position. The pain was excruciating and when I touched my thumb area, there was a small hard part bulging out that was not there before. My left thumb was also “locked” in a position where I could not bend or move it.

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Thinking that I had just dislocated my thumb, I rushed to a nearby government polyclinic despite it was raining heavily. It was challenging to handle the umbrella with one hand while I literally braved through the storm. When I was registering at the polyclinic via the self-help kiosk at about 2pm, a nurse came to me and asked, “do you have an appointment?” I replied, “no, I don’t.” At that moment, a slip of paper for my queue number for 2.40pm appointment came out from the kiosk. She said, “oh then you are very lucky, seems like someone gave up their slot.” I didn’t understand why she said I was lucky because I wasn’t used to the polyclinic system.

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Finally, I saw the doctor and had an X-Ray on my injured thumb. The doctor saw the results of the X-Ray and assured me that it was a normal sprain, no broken bones, and that I could expect to completely heal in a few days’ time.

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My gut feeling told me that this must be more than just a sprain because my thumb was in fixed position, and it didn’t feel like a simple sprain. But I still went home and heeded the doctor’s advice to put ice and elevate my thumb to reduce the swelling. Oh boy, the pain got worse that night till I could not sleep.

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Wed 22 Nov: I decided to see an orthopaedic specialist to have a peace of mind. I messaged the only orthopaedic clinic I knew and I asked if they had a slot to see me that day as I injured my thumb. But they told me that their clinic was closed till the following week and recommended me to consult a hand surgeon instead. I was very thankful for the recommendation because before this, I didn’t even know there was such a surgeon specialising in hands, much less a good one.

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I quickly messaged the hand surgeon’s clinic and asked if I could see the hand surgeon that very same day and fortunately, they had an available slot at 2pm. I had to attend an online class that day, so I had to continue dialling in my class while travelling to the clinic. Amazing how I could do this when I only had one functioning hand.

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The hand surgeon saw my thumb and the X-Ray results from the polyclinic and said that he suspected it could be left thumb MCPJ dislocation because from the X-Ray, my sesamoid bone seemed to be stuck in between the bones of the thumb. But he needed me to take an MRI to confirm his diagnosis and see if there were any tears in the ligaments as well.

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I had to quickly take a public transport to travel to another location to take the MRI, and I did all these while still dialling in my online class using my mobile phone (attendance is important and I didn’t want to miss any class ??).

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After I took the MRI, I had to travel back to the hand surgeon’s clinic and when I reached the clinic at about 4.40pm, the surgeon saw the MRI results and told me that he could see one of my thumb ligaments was torn completely and could not see other issues with the thumb. But he said he would need to operate and further check if there were any other issues. He also asked if I could do the surgery that night at 6.30pm, because he was fully booked on Thu and would be travelling overseas from Fri to Sun.

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Without any hesitation, I agreed to his offer even though I only had a short time to process all the things that were happening. I was going to travel to US in 2 weeks' time, so I wanted to get this surgery done quickly to start the recovery process earlier. By the time I was told to go to another location for the surgery, it was already 6.05pm. I tried various mobile apps to get private hire cars but was not successful because it was the peak period. Fortunately, my surgeon saw that I was still waiting for a transport, he asked if I wanted a ride there and so I agreed. Never in my life would I imagine that I would be driven by my surgeon to the operating location. ???

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We got there late due to the traffic jam but the surgeon was very professional, he was calm like as if the decision to operate wasn’t made just 3 hours ago. That actually assured me that I was in good hands.?

The surgeon managed to complete the surgery in 70 minutes instead of 2 hours. He updated me that there was a ligament tear, as shown in the MRI, and that torn ligament looked abnormal. He suspected that most likely it was already damaged previously, and it was a matter of time before it snapped. This explained why my ligament completely tore even though I was not pressing hard on the recyclables, and the recyclables were also not the hard types. There was also a joint that was inflamed due to the ligament tear. But thank God there was no other issues.?

It has been one week since my surgery, and I am in the process of recovering. I am currently seeing an occupational therapist and I was told not to use my left thumb for the first 2 months. It would also take 4 to 6 months before I could regain my normal mobility of my left hand.?

How I handled the situation

The thing is I could easily feel defeated at any point of time when this incident was happening such as:

• Why must it be raining so heavily when I first injured my hand, making it so difficult for me to get to the polyclinic??
• Why couldn't the MRI, surgeon's clinic and operating theatre be in the same place?
• Why must this happen to me when I am travelling to US in 2 weeks’ time?
• How can I now prepare for my trip, and manage the big luggage and two young kids under 7 years old with one hand?

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But I chose to accept my reality and put on the Enneagram Type 7’s hat to think positively of the situation and count my blessings:?

• At least it was not my dominant hand that was injured.
• I realised why the polyclinic nurse said I was lucky, it was because polyclinic’s appointment slots for each day would always be fully booked by 8.30am that very same day, but I was fortunate that someone gave up their slot and I was able to see the doctor within an hour.?
• From the polyclinic, at least I knew there were no broken bones.
• I am glad I went with my gut feeling and went to see a great hand surgeon?who was able to operate on my thumb the very same day I saw him. He even drove me to the operating location!?
• The timing of the surgery was the best for me too as I later realised the surgeon was also fully booked the week after and I would have to endure the pain longer and there won’t be enough time for therapy and doctor’s review before I travel.
• It was only one ligament tear and no other issues. I have a new-found appreciation of that small ligament in my thumb. Who could have thought such a small ligament could cause so much inconvenience? ??
• My body was in a good condition to go through an immediate surgery (e.g. I was not pregnant and not under any medication that were not suitable for surgery).
• My two kids are young, but they do not need to be carried all the time.
• I learnt to appreciate the little things in life, and it allowed me to be more creative on how I do the day-to-day things.
• Opportunity to wear a cast and get it designed by my kids and let them see how their mummy is trying hard every day to “exercise” her thumb to get it back to normal again. It’s also nice to see how my kids started to help me with the simple everyday things that I find it hard to do now, like helping me to tear the biscuit wrappers when I wanted to eat some biscuits.
• The recovery has been great with bearable pain because the surgeon did a great job.
• Lastly, it’s a matter of time for this ligament to tear, so I am glad it didn’t happen the day before or on the day of my trip, or even during my trip.?Now, I still have time to make the necessary arrangements and preparations for the trip.

What we choose to think matters

It’s very easy for us to think negatively when challenges come our way, especially when it derailed our original plans. Even though it's hard, let’s still choose to think positively when facing the challenges that come our way. Our brains work in an amazing way, when we think negatively, we will start to notice the negative things around us to reinforce our negative thoughts. But when we think positively, we will also start to notice the positive things to reinforce our positive thoughts.?

So, when life gives you a huge lemon amidst all of the lemons you are already juggling with, what will you do??

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P.S. please continue to recycle, just remember not to use your bare hands to push / crush the recyclables. ??