Throwing people under the bus and the damage to you, them, and the company

Throwing people under the bus and the damage to you, them, and the company

It’s been a few years now since I first heard people in companies saying things like, “He threw me under the bus!”, “She wanted to throw him under the bus.” and “He threw him under the bus!”?When I first heard this expression, I laughed as my mind turned it into a cartoon where one character was throwing another under a moving bus

After a few years of hearing the expression and watching its use penetrate media and corporate circles, I’m not so amused anymore (although the cartoon still gets me).?I started thinking, “Where did the phrase come from?”?And before there was a phrase, something was going on that needed a word so we could talk about it.?What was that??So I did a little research.?I couldn’t find anyone who knew the origin of the phrase, but I found a definition of it online in The Word Detective:

Definition: “To throw someone under the bus” is defined as meaning “to sacrifice; to treat as a scapegoat; to betray,” but . . . the key to the phrase lies in the element of utter betrayal, the sudden, brutal sacrifice of a stalwart and loyal teammate for a temporary and often minor advantage.”

I couldn’t have defined it better.?It is ugly stuff!?Utter betrayal.?The sudden, brutal sacrifice of a stalwart and loyal teammate for a temporary and often minor advantage.?Wow!

A Pervasive Problem: Let’s not pretend that we haven’t all done this ourselves.?When I was a kid, my brother and I threw each other under the bus until we realized it wasn’t worth it.?My brother got me in trouble by telling my mom I forgot to take out the trash.?As the pitch of my mother’s voice started to rise, I quickly deflected with, “Did you hear about the explosion he had when he was playing with the chemistry set?”?

We laugh about that stuff now, but there is also a more profound pain that remains.?It’s not just between my brother and me or our family.?It is something we do in our society.?It is pervasive.?That is why I am writing this article.?People in our business world throw their teammates under the bus Way Too Much.?It obliterates trust, hurts people, and hurts the business.?Do we have a team when we throw each other under the bus??How efficient and effective can a team be when everyone is watching their back?

Business and the Bus: I recently facilitated a client group meeting where operational problems were discussed to work together to resolve them.?One of the challenges was that the team had not moved certain kinds of work offshore fast enough to achieve their margin reduction goals.?The person supposedly leading the offshoring effort was taking some heat for the delays.?The boss was in the room and was concerned about how this was making her look.?He struck back at another person, saying, “I can’t force you to staff projects using offshore resources, and you still don’t have those new staffing protocols in place.”?

The thing is, throwing people under the bus doesn’t help us in the long run.?Their teammates will not trust people who throw teammates under the bus and invariably find themselves under the bus.?

What You Can Do: If the term “throw one under the bus” and all its associated behaviors can spread so virally in our society, so can its antidote.?From this point on, we can each commit ourselves and our teammates to “keep each other out from under the bus.”?Suppose you are a supervisor, manager, or executive, model this new behavior, and tolerate bus throwing among your staff.?For everyone else, you can also be a leader by showing people a different way.?There is always another way to go.?

How to Avoid Throwing People Under the Bus

Metaphorically speaking, the best way to avoid throwing someone under the bus is not to put yourself in front of moving buses.?We throw people under the bus when a bus is headed for us.?If someone throws you under the bus, doing the same to them will make you look petty.?Take the high ground.?Here are some tips:

Take responsibility for yourself and your job.?Don’t create situations where you may look bad” in front of your peers or boss because you did not do your job when you could have.

Don’t get insulted.?Even if someone throws you under the bus, stay calm, and remember you do not have to be offended by what someone says.?It is a choice. The emotion of insult will always cloud your better judgment, and you will find yourself striking back.?It will hurt your position.?Don’t go there.

Be constructive and additive in your responses.?Find something in the other person said you could agree with and build.?Take responsibility where you feel appropriate, and ask others for help when you do not completely control a situation.

Monitor your “throw” triggers.?Often people throw someone under the bus and then quickly regret it.?Watch the things that trigger your impulse to throw someone under the bus, and then practice not responding to the triggers with bus-throwing behavior.?Hint: Whenever you are sure you are justified in throwing someone under the bus, don’t do it.

Model this new way of being.?As Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world.?Show others how it’s done.?Be a change leader.?It starts with each of us.