Throw Off Your Pity Party

I’ve got some amazing friends who are currently looking for work opportunities. Some have been in the market for years, some are just starting their searches and others are at a cross roads in life and just not sure what is next. It can be frightening and uncertain. I’m here to tell you that you can do this! This is in no way meant to minimize really awful life situations that may be happening to you. I’m not a therapist and some things need more help than a friend can give (Pro Tip: If you need to talk to someone, there are professionals who can help you navigate life’s difficult turns as well as social agencies to assist. Read: You do not have to do this alone). For the rest of us, there is this:

When the going gets tough

Feeling a little down and wondering how to navigate forward? That is perfectly understandable as long as you limit your pity parties to short bursts and then get back up and keep fighting the good fight! No one is going to fight as hard for you as you need to for yourself. Also, no one is going to hand you a job or a future; you have to work for it. You have to keep trying. You can do this!

Don’t be an Eeyore

We all know the person who looks for bad things to happen (and then is surprised when they do), or the person who runs around in a panic that the sky is falling like Chicken Little. No one wants to be around a negative nelly for too long. If you look for the bad, you will find it. If you take that into a networking event or to a job interview, you will not get far. No employer is going to save you and lift you up. You need to find that resolve in yourself. Again, see above re: pity party. 

You are amazing!

If you forget how awesome you are, remember that you are the sum of your experiences. Good and bad, the experiences that you’ve had to date are often transferable. When in doubt, make a list of your skills, competencies and traits for a feel good moment. Remember that you can practice on how to network and interview. Not sure how to answer the question about why you left your last job? Use Google or another search engine. Those questions can be difficult to answer but they’ve been asked many times before and suggested answers are on the internet. You’ll find the right answer or path for you. Keep it authentic and upbeat. If you believe you are amazing, others will follow!

Cheerleaders help (or get by with a little help from your friends)

When you lose sight of your amazingness, you need to connect with friends and associates that can remind you of your worth. When you feel down, you often think you are not good company. This is when you need your support system the most. Ask friends, co-workers and family to help you identify your strengths. Surround yourself with the most positive people in your life and celebrate all the good things you have to offer. If you have people that are on the negative side, limit your exposure to them. If they do not leave you feeling positive and hopeful, you need to move on (even temporarily). 

Think outside the box

Don’t get stuck in what you think you should do or who you should be. That is so incredibly limiting and not true. The more you expand your thought process and search (for whatever that might be), the more options will present. My intention word this year is ‘limitless’. Too often we accept our own or others perceptions of our worth and abilities. You are limitless! Do not allow self talk that is cruel and negative. If you would never talk to a friend that way, stop talking to yourself that way. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should someone else? Not sure what to do next, start looking at your passions and go from there. That is as good a place to start as any.

Ask for help

Asking people for help can be difficult, whether it is pride or embarrassment holding you back. There is no shame in reaching out to people for help on a difficult day or for an introduction to a company that is hiring. The worst thing that could happen is that they say no. But what if they say yes?

Say yes!

Be open to opportunities. When you are down in the dumps, you may turn down getting together with friends or jobs outside your scope of work. What if that friendly get-together leads you to an opening at a company or helps you find your passion? You need to keep going! You are going to find your path, I believe that for you. You just have to try! Look for that silver lining and keep that positive attitude. You have value, you add value and you deserve good things!

Get over yourself

Okay, here comes the dose of reality. You really are special. That is definitely true. But, you are unique…just like everyone else. When you are feeling most hopeless, remember that there are others dealing with more difficult circumstances than you. If you really need a kick in the pants and some feel good moments, get out there and make a difference. Give back! If you are out of work, consider volunteering. It is a great networking opportunity, can remind you that you have value, it can give you purpose and the “feels” are just so good! When you successfully land somewhere or forge that amazing future, remember these difficult times and pay that support forward. You’ve got this!