Through Her Eyes - The Cancer Caregiver

The Cancer Caregiver: The Unsung Warrior

It’s 8:30 AM on January 23, 2003—my very first meeting with my oncologist, Dr. Anthony Ciarolla.

“Mr. Stille, you have a very rare and aggressive cancer called Acute Lymphoblastic Lymphoma (ALL) T-cell. It’s stage 4, and it’s growing by the minute. We need to start treatment immediately.”

“Like, right now?” I asked.

“Yes, right now,” he replied. “I’ve already written the orders to admit you into the hospital across the street.”

I was given a week to live. Against all odds—and through several touch-and-go battles—I survived. But while I am profoundly grateful for my second chance at life, at the top of my gratitude list is my cancer caregiver—my wife.

The Battle No One Talks About

When we celebrate cancer survivors, we often forget the warriors who stand beside them—the caregivers. These unseen fighters dedicate themselves to helping the wounded on the battlefield, sacrificing their own well-being to hold us together when we are falling apart.

People say, “Battling cancer is a team sport.” That is an understatement. What does it look like through the lens of the caregiver? Let me give you a mere glimpse.

Through Her Eyes

“I must stay strong in front of him. He needs to feel surrounded by confidence—even though I’m terrified inside that he’s going to die.”

“It’s the middle of the night, but I can’t sleep. His fever has spiked again, and every groan from his pain keeps me on high alert. Is the chemotherapy working? Or is this all in vain?”

“He doesn’t want to eat. The chemo has burned the inside of his mouth, leaving blisters, the roof of his mouth raw and melted. I’ll make him smoothies—but they can’t contain raw fruits or vegetables because his immune system is too weak.”

“Oh no! He cut himself shaving. His chin won’t stop bleeding because his platelets are critically low. Back to the hospital we go.”

“He’s too weak to make it to the bathroom alone. His body trembles with every step. I use all my strength to lift him, to hold him up, to help him walk—praying my own exhaustion doesn’t fail him.”

“The cancer seems to be winning. He is exhausted. He is weak. He is losing hope. So I sit at the piano, playing and singing worship songs for him, over him, with him—praying the music will bring him peace when nothing else can.”

“I am exhausted—physically, mentally, spiritually—but I have to go to work. The bills don’t stop just because cancer showed up.”

“Everyone wants to see him, to comfort him, to show their love—but they don’t understand when I have to say no. His immune system is compromised. Every visitor is a risk.”

The Mightiest Warrior of Them All

Cancer survivors are often called warriors. And while we absolutely should celebrate those who have overcome this horrific disease, we must also recognize another kind of warrior—the one who stands beside us, who carries the weight when we can’t, who fights battles no one sees.

The cancer caregiver.

If you are one, I see you. I honor you. And I thank you.

If you know someone who is a cancer caregiver—please repost this and tell them you see them, you honor them, and you thank them.

#cancercaregiver

#cancersurvivor

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