Thriving in a Lockdown

When the lockdown eventually ends, do you want to look back and think “I’m so glad I got through so many boxsets!”?

Me neither.

There are several ways we could frame the imposed isolation which many of us are facing. For example, we could see it as something to endure, or something to just pass through (wishing our time away by watching tv). Or, we can see it as an opportunity.

An opportunity to form good habits, to try new things, to rekindle old hobbies or interests, to read more, learn more, to finally get round to volunteering or helping others more, or perhaps to get to know ourselves a little better.

Of course, many people now find themselves in extremely difficult circumstances which would make it very hard to positively frame their situation. While thriving in this lockdown won’t be possible for some people, for most of us there are plenty of things we can achieve during this time that could bring us greater satisfaction, growth and even happiness.

In the words of the great Victor Frankl:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

A first step, perhaps, is to start with some basic good practice for working remotely or being cooped up. Hubub’s article, 5 Tips for Working Remotely, provides some great tips and is well worth a read.

I’d also like to share some of the excellent advice I’ve come across, and a few of my own reflections and suggestions. Here are ten tips to make the most of the lockdown.

1. Routine Rocks!

Having a good routine is especially important during difficult times (see article above, Professor Lynda Gratton’s work on virtual working, or the psychology articles referenced at the end of this post). Routine can help us feel calm and anchored, and with so much change and uncertainty I’d suggest that’s just what we need. What’s a good routine for me might well vary from mine, but one that involves exercise, good sleep, regular eating times and some down time is a good place to start.

2. Improve your balance

Kathleen O’Connor, Clinical Professor of Organisational Behaviour at London Business School, recommends that every day should involved something in each of the following five dimensions.

• Work (and learning)
• Physical (i.e. exercise)
• Social (e.g. video call a friend, or have a ‘virtual water cooler’ chat with a colleague)
• Creative
• Spiritual (what I take from this is something that’s good for the mind; meditation, yoga, or simply sitting still for 30 minutes without any distractions)

This one section alone could easily be a whole blog post, so all I’ll say is that I’ve been building this into my routine and it’s been extremely positive for me.

3. Go on a news diet

Regularly checking the latest news on the crisis is unlikely to fill you with positivity and may, for some, lead to increased anxiety and stress. Try only looking at the news on a maximum of three days each week. Try to focus on the facts and avoid the commentary (because a lot of the commentary is, understandably, vaguely informed at best). Choose one reputable news source and stick to that. And PLEASE don’t look at the news before you go to bed!

4. Focus on what you can control or influence

Try not to obsess over all the things you can’t control. You’re only human – don’t put too much pressure on yourself. While it’s a natural reaction to be worried about all sorts of things in a crises like this, from how well your friends will cope with isolation to how safe your job is or whether you’ll be able to sell your house. Some of these things you may be able to influence, others perhaps not. Ask yourself “is this something I can reasonably influence or control”. If it isn’t, try not to let it take up brain space.

 See also “Go on a news diet” above.

5. Distinguish the weekends

I feel it’s even more important now – whether you’re furloughed, out of work or working from home – to separate your weekdays from your weekend. Don’t let them merge into one. If your weekend often involves sitting around in your pants eating ice cream for breakfast, don’t also do that during the week. Perhaps save drinking booze for the weekends, or only have lie-ins on a weekend, or make a treat breakfast at the weekends. And don’t work over the weekend (unless that’s your job, of course).

Our minds need that separation. Plus, a weekend wouldn’t be as enjoyable if there weren’t weekdays!

6. Avoid screens

I spend too much of my time looking at screens. It hurts my eyes, drains my energy, and rarely feels beneficial or purposeful. After a long day of looking at a laptop screen, I need a rest (and you might too). I’ve got into the habit of having at least two “screen-free evenings”. That’s avoiding TV, films video games, my laptop and my phone. I’d thoroughly recommend it! It will give you more time for other things, allowing you to…

7. Do that thing

Is there anything that you’ve been considering doing for a while now, but not had the time/energy? Perhaps you’ve always wanted to learn the banjo, learn card tricks, get to 100 press-ups? Maybe you keep meaning to pick up playing an instrument you used to when younger, or do more creative writing?

For me, I’ve been thinking for a while that I’d like to start drawing regularly to improve my ability and find a new creative outlet. So I’ve started doing just that and I’ve been really enjoying it. I bet you have a similar thing that you’ve thought about doing in the back of your mind. Well, now’s your time. Do it.

8. Read more

If, like me, you would like to read more, this is a great opportunity to do so. If one thing ultra-successful people have in common is reading a lot, maybe we can gain something too. Oh yeah, it can be relaxing too.

9. Get to know yourself

Many of us will be spending a hell of a lot more time with ourselves right now. If you were forced into a situation where you had to spend a few weeks, or longer, with another person, you’d probably come to the (very reasonable) conclusion that you should invest the time in getting to know them. This is the perfect opportunity to get to know ourselves a little better.

Now I’m going to be a little lazy here, perhaps even irresponsible. I’m going to say that one of the most (if not THE most) important things you can learn about in life is yourself. And I’m not going to provide a bunch of references to qualify that statement (which is irresponsible because I am in no way an expert).

You are complicated. I am complicated. We have multiple levels of self-awareness. Our brains use shortcuts and activate all sorts of (really fascinating) cognitive biases - check out this incredible infographic. We think we understand our feelings and thoughts, but it’s our brain that creates those feelings and thoughts – sometimes it’s tricking us!

Now, I’m a LONG way off being an authority on any of this. If you’re even slightly tempted to use this time to understand yourself more and develop your emotional intelligence, a great place to start is Mark Manson’s blog on The Three Levels of Self-awareness. He’s a bit of a legend in my view.

10. Challenge yourself

If you've got a bit more time on your hands, or a chance to reset your routine, it could be the perfect time to come up with a challenge for yourself. Not only will it give you something to focus on, you'll have a great sense of achievement at the end. You may even improve your fitness, skills or knowledge in the process

But, loneliness can be hard

All advice in the world might be difficult to benefit from if you’re really struggling emotionally or with mental health problems. Loneliness and isolation are already a big challenge for many people even before this enforced seclusion.

One observation: In my experience a lot of people (such as some of my friends, and some of your friends) aren’t very good at staying in touch. Just because they don’t actively call or message doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. It doesn’t mean they’re not interested in hearing from you, or that they don’t have time (although some may not). Most likely, it means they’re not brilliant at staying in touch with people. If you are feeling lonely or in need of someone to talk to, please, please don’t be too proud to reach out to a friend. Chances are they’d probably be happy to hear from you.

You may be spending a lot more time on your own, but remember – we all are. You are not alone.

That warm fuzzy bit at the end

I hope that some of these suggestions and ideas will resonate with you, and inspire you to share the ideas you like with friends, family or colleagues. If just one of my ramblings has a positive impact on just one person, then this article would have succeeded in its goal.

Let’s not just survive this isolation. Let’s try to thrive in it.

References and further reading

•  PsychologyToday - Daily routine helps us feel better during difficult times
• ThoughtCatalogue - The Psychology of Routines
• Mark Manson - The Three Levels of Self-awareness (and check out some of his other excellent blog posts while you’re there)
• Mark Manson - Why You Can’t Trust Yourself
• The Samaritans - Donate to their emergency appeal here
• Professor Lynda Gratton - Virtual Working
• The Cognitive Bias Codex – A visual of the 180 cognitive biases